When you are not understood
Like the clock stopping its ticking
Yet still there in the hall
As substance without voice
And then there is a turning away.

For no longer all that expectation
An empting of oneself.
Like the snail's silver trail
A relic from the past
Deposited on a garden path.

Love Mary x

The ceramic ***.

It had been admired from afar for years this large ceramic ***
With its abstract animal markings and David Austin old rose
Neglected by the continual change in temperature and attention
Ten years of survival had been amazing outside this small home.

The lady next door was to gain a gift as the family were selling
She gained the ceramic *** to be cultivated to her delighting
Next year it would be colourful with a variety of pretty flowers
One never knows if one waits long enough how the stars shine.

Love Mary **

I got through another Winter
It being not too cold
I wrapped myself in blankets
Gave my room a rosy glow.

Then the Hollyhocks came
Tall and straight and bright
Waving in front of the window,
What a complete delight.

Managed to see the Azaleas
With their very tangerine buds,
The red rose climbs the Plum tree
What wonders do we have.

I got through another Winter.

Love Mary **

At the end one has to acknowledge
Staring into the eyes of another
That there is always betrayal
But Love understands this
And is not ruptured
Steadfastly it continues
Doing what it is
Which is to
Live.

Love Mary xxxx

Find what you need to sustain you
I can always be their in your heart
My genes have gently infected you
So that can be a fair certain start.

You have all that you need beside you
A family fit for a queen
One that travels the emotions
One that will not let you scream.

Sorry about the wedding, I had always
Hoped to be there, carrying your possessions
And dancing in the night - time air
But the hall will be full so don’t worry.

Love Grandma xxxxx

Hawthorn hangs like gossamer
May breaks into sun
Clouds raise the heavens
A new Summer has begun.

Benches line the walkways
Sounds tickle the air
The lynchpin of existence
Turns another year.

Florets of Mayflower
Meet the spreading green
Trees bend into motion
Children are unseen.

And we in our circle
Paint the world afresh
Making every boundary
A moment of caress.


Love Mary

If only I stayed with my dolls
I would not be where I can't see,
They always gave me comfort
Sitting looking at me.

I remember all their faces,
Had personalities too,
Some robust and cheeky,
Others floppy and rather unwell.

At night on my bed they would sit,
Or cuddled up close in a shawl,
Blue eyes, Rosebud and Belinda,
And  a wee little baby black girl.

If only I'd stayed with my dolls,
Nothing bad would have
Befallen me,
I'd still live in imagination,
A Wonderfully, gifted world.

Love Mary **

Who walked to the end of a road
And turned back?
Realising the reason had been lost
Like a paper handkerchief
Just dropped on the pavement
Getting wedged between cracks
Arriving home with the sadness.

The boarding party.

The gathering was informal
Dressed in what was comfortable
For the cold February day.
Here in front of the window,
The panoramic view across
The fields
Stationary as a postcard
Supported only memories.

My father leaned on the chair
As he always had when
Talking about too many cars
And the age of girls having babies.
We listened trying to avoid
Time passing
Trying to be brave for him,
For ourselves.

The Norman church on the Alan Bay
Road, a place of historic beauty,
Where on holidays we stopped,
To eat the days remaining sandwiches;
Received our mother into the parish
There reunited with her father, Frank.
In the air a gentle voice called helping
tired feet make that last mile home.

Love to My mother Grace Emily Westbrook and my dad Eric William Henry Ayton-Robinson .

Bewilderment watered in her small hands
The sky filtered its rays through the blinds
Sitting in solicitude sufffereing sunk down
In the days that past it renounced its truth.

Love Mary ***

What do we do to time.

Who will remember me after I have gone,
Memory changes everything,
With the seasons come and gone,
Lives are full of business,
Few stop and pause,
Finding a special moment,
To cherish and applaud,
But in my garden,
Is my Mother's Hydrangea bush,
Her shoes in my wardrobe,
That sometimes I do kiss.
On the wall is an embroidery,
Done by her dear hands,
And glasses in a case,
That's as near as I can.
Touching the memories,
The hours that we shared,
They are now part of me
Never to be disturbed.

Love Mary **

And wisdom went with her frozen
In glass like snow white's coffin
And what was known singed ash
As petals amongst futility's cry


Mary **

Standing in the garden
Waiting for my tea
I played with the flowers
Games of you and me
Gathering all the petals
To make a baby's bed.
Scently, sweetly blowing
The roses above my head
Round and round the garden
My dancing feet would leap
Floating in my petticoats
The dress with the dainty pleats
In the dappled sunshine
Of a warm evening breeze
Just a little girl happy and free
Calling from the kitchen
A face with a smile
Tea's nearly ready
Your favourite
Cherry pie .

Love Mary for her dear mother Grace x

Hugo you are an enigma
I see photos of you and your sister
On my iPad as I rest,
Pictures in my head.
Life seems to be fun
With your siblings
And your mum
Going out to the beach
Into the waves
Darting, leaps,
Another day it's climbing trees
With your Ruby at your heels.
In the woods where it is dark
You imagine many parts,
Costumes drapped across your chest
Delphi in a bright blue dress
Piggy - backs are all the rage
Laughs and giggles all the day,
Holidays are your best
Time to play and time to rest.
Like your grandad you do look
Clever with your reading books.
I see your picture on my wall
A young boy unspoiled;
Wish you many happy hours
And adventures to inspire.

Love Grandma ***

If I read anymore of your poems
I shall merge.

Love Mary x

In the front bedroom
I have been for years
Watching the birds
In the Sycamore tree.

Love Mary

I use to to call you funny boy
Because you made me laugh
With that wide smile
And cheeky grin
Red hair like a Cabbage Patch doll.

Clever with puzzles on the floor
Computer games you adored
Always shy when I called
School reports I could applaud.

All the teachers thought you bright
Gave you prise for your insight
But they did not yet see
The hidden qualities to be.

On your bike on the green
Travelling round with a team
Many friends you did have
Turned into a likely lad.

From that quiet and shy child
Something different did emerge
Clever , yes, without a doubt
But cared little for convention's shout.

Dyed your hair bright blonde
Wearing earrings wasn't wrong
All the teachers turned to see
Someone cheeky as could be .

To my funny boy, Kasper, love Grandma xxxx

Cruelty is a kind of dismissiveness,
A remembering to forget,
Not to notice or take an interest,
Ignore rather than prepare.

I have met it infrequently,
Thank goodness,
But harsh it is
And sharp as a knife,
Slicing through another's pain
As easy as butter.

Love Mary

To all those who have suffered at the hands of others .

Sitting round the radio,
We would listen to the play,
Broadcast every Saturday,
In the evening with lights low,
Wrapped in our blankets,
All snug and warm,
Sharing so many stories,
Of lives both great and small.

Those days I remember,
For the closeness that we felt,
Our little family, never remote;
'The Deep Blue Sea',staying behind,
For its impact, of a solitary kind.
Nothing like the radio to let the eye find,
Pictures in the imagination,
Are the very best kind.

Love Mary ***

A star sat on my eiderdown to dwell
And in delight it opened up its spell.

Love Mary

It may not be the best,
Or even have decent,
I have no card to give you,
Will last year's do?
The soap in the bathroom
I have replaced,
So now you can wash
Your dear hands and face;
The Jaffa cakes could have hearts on,
As they were bought with love,
So have a Happy Valentine's Day
My one and only Rog.


From Mary to Roger  **

Somewhere in my mind,
Was something to be found,
Not on the surface,
No digging would surround.
It came out of nowhere,
As I passed the glass,
Peering at a turquoise stone,
A golden broach it did enhance;
It was my mother's moonstone,
A family heirloom,
Embellished with gold filigree,
And attached by a chain.
The Islamic pendant,
On display at the museum,
Sent me backwards on a journey,
To discover you it seemed.

On the way home I thought of Proust,
Tasting the Madeline, tea soaked,
The pleasure it did give me,
To remember times past,
And the fingers of Mother's hand,
Gently do up the clasp.

Love Mary **

If you came to my house
A toy room  you would see
With lots of bits and pieces
Collected by little me.

I pretend they're for the grandchildren
Who love them more than can say
But really eBay bargains
Mother bought to stay.

I have pound puppy doggies
And pound kitty cats
Tiny plastic teddy bears
In a cottage pack.

Lots of playpeople
Lego fairy Belville
But best of all the dollies
Over a hundred to thrill.

There is a police station
And a collection of cars
A garage with a lift
And a small farmyard.

The children always happy
When they come to play
Grandma's Christmas grotto
Every single day.


Love Mary xxxx

Temporal Fugue  :)
Down to the mill
stone to stone to grind
as chaff removed from harvest
the wisdom of better times.


Thank you Mary ***

I filled  my basket with flowers
And four baby eggs
A son and three daughters
Under a checkered spread.

We never went to market
For that not meant to be
But cuddled up together
With buttered bread for tea.


Love Mummy.

Achievement wore her smartest frock,
Held out the drapes that all might see,
For a while it danced within her frame,
Delighted at such a fiery flame,
Then quietly laid down in a box,
But its wonders did remain.

How are the Lego kids,
With their boxes and their lids,
Shifting colours ,choosing frames,
Making vehicles ,City games,
Evelyn likes to see,
Watching as the plot reveals,
A sailing ship ,a caravan,
With her fingers says, 'I Can';
On the bed next to Dad
A spaceship glides past her head,
Then Mum brings in a big surprise,
French it is and two feet high.
So much fun to be had,
Playing with your Mum and Dad .

Love Grandma !Mum ,xxxx

He puts out his tiny hand
To hold my finger
In its red glove
And his mouth curves
Into a smile.

Such a welcome
For an elderly me
I want to grasp his soul
Be part of those first steps
Taste his world.

A splendid moment
For us all three
My daughter
And her third son
A blonde wistful child
Full of poetry.

Love Grandma **

Wife : ‘I have a serious inflammatory condition’.
Husband:  ‘I think you want to stop bullying people,
It gets on their nerves’.

Love Mary **

The tears of the world are a constant quality .Samual Beckett.
Talking of his mother he said.I am what her savâge loving has made me.


Love Mary

Can you catch me brother
Down in the ditches
Before I fall
And scrape my knees.

We’ll do our special
Where you go first
And I travel behind
Holding your hand.

The branch was shiny
Smoothed by rubber
And small greasy hands
Not too long to stand.

And we balanced along
A ballet dancer’s song
Feet repeating steps
And LEPT!

Love Mary x

Bruma was a dark brown tawny cat
Who slept most of the time
On carpet or mat,
Sometimes curled up, on the settee,
Next to the baby or Evelyn maybe.

As is the way with cats,
They wake early searching for food,
So after demolishing biscuits and before the family were awake Bruma
Decided to go exploring.

Upstairs she padded on fat soft paws,
Up, and up in the quiet dawn hours.
After three flights she reached the room
Pushed the door and slowly went in.
Inside she began to purr, thought what fun
I can have in here.

The Lego room was Alex's delight,
neatly laid out with sets so bright,
Some  from the archives, others new,
Plenty of hours of playing to do.
There were houses and ships, castles and vans, stations with trains running and ancient space lands.
Boxes of bricks and fairy scenes, a perfect place for a cat to be.

The train went first off the track but Bruma could not lift it back, so on the floor it did stay,
All the people in array.
On top shelf houses tall with gardens and patios and cars to the fore.
Along the roofs Bruno did step
Peeped through the windows
But suddenly stopped,
Down fell a house onto the ground,
All the Lego bits scattered around,
Started to get a bit afraid,
So Bruma decided to disengage,
Downstairs she went quick as a mouse,
Fast asleep in a trice.
Never again did Bruma dare
To venture into the Lego lair.

Love Grandma Mary ***

Lilies
Will you wait by the lilies side
In your flowery shirt
Wait for me by the church
In the country road, casually,
And carry me home at last
Never, longer to be alone.

Love Mary xxxx

Tomorrow is a special day
When from babyhood turns away
Little feet , inquisitive hands
A little girl in a new land.


Happy first birthday
To a dear granddaughter ,
Evelyn love Grandma **

When I look at a painting
A woman I see
Reflected in the glass
Standing behind me.

Sitting neatly in sweater and scarf on table bench
You lay out this meal place
And take a book into your hands
And slowly begin to read.

Thinking of a friendly face
A boy from long ago
Who knew your words then
And decided to simply stay.

Love Mary

VIctoria sandwich
Is my favourite cake
Bought from ch ch chr
In the park
It can be cut into three
And stored in the freezer


It lasts for days
And goes crispy
When dry
I love it.

Love Mary

On a beach in silver
Sat the fair skin child
Sea bells on her feet
Pearls round her hair

Out came ‘tea-stain’
With his yellow cup
Offered fair one sips
Drippity drip, drip.

Love Mary x

Glad to be on the way out
Than  on the way in .


Love Mary ***

When I was three I played with worms
They simply were my friends
I watched them building worm casts
And knock them down.

Love Mary **

Oscar, so it's  Summer,
School ends for lost boys
And errant masters, alike,
Skipping out the doors
Books still in cupboards left
Football shed untidy
With lost socks
Flapping blue-tac ends in
Open window jam wind.



love Mary

We spend our lives learning how to say goodbye
All that we love and are familiar is to be slipping
And the treasures on the wall will go to others so
I will not be sad for all will continue in the gardens.

Love Mary ***

I close my eyes
And dip again
Feel the moments lie within
Move into space
Dressed in lace
The loveliness of your face.
I close my eyes and look again
What was imagined
At an end
Yet the glow
That you showed
I find it in the words we told.

In memory of Roy Orbison.

Love Mary

Now that mother was gone
The house seemed empty of
All those buzzings and calls
I sank down the stairs looking.

Dinner a small affair of greens
Given by a friendly neighbour
And fish from the local mongers
But there was only one placing.

Love Mary **

GERTIE.  

A family of nine
Mother died
Father took a gun but no one knew
He blew
For the sorrow was too much
I heard.
But you my children's Nana
With your country life
Potato digging
Outside toilet
Did not expect
A Rolls Royce
You came to visit regularly
And at our door
My children stood
Arms wide for your smile
The smell of lipstick
On their cheek
At each third weekend
Roast beef in paper bag
Toys and sweeties galore
At first I found it hard
Different flesh I suppose
But came to love you
As my own
A second mother
Not home grown.

And when you died
At eighty
From a brain tumour
I felt I had lost
Someone I could trust
Stoic saviour of my soul
Whose knitting
I have still.

Love Mary

To Aunty Betty my children's wonderful Nana from Walthamstow. Thank you for all your love and I m

On being three.

The baby Elephants and the Kangaroo,
Said to Evelyn "what can we do,
How about a game of cards,
Or racing cars in the backyard?"
"No" she said "that's not for me,
I'd rather climb the old oak tree."
So off she went right to the top,
Looked down at all the lollipops,
Down she came foot by foot,
Stood on the ground and took a look,
Saw how very high she'd climbed,
Said "Now I can write this little rhyme."

Love Grandma
Happy Birthday

Evelyn flew over the sea
In an aeroplane above the blue
To a place she never knew
With a plot and his crew.

She went to see her family there
Amongst a land green and fair
To kiss and hug those she loves
Bringing her smile the little dove.

Grandma Janet, Uncle Jim,
If there's time go for a swim
Crawling with Grandpa is such fun
Next year I'll be able to run.

Saw a lighthouse, the crashing waves
Mummy holds me against the sway
Someone takes a photograph
Be back soon it's been a laugh.

Now it's time to go to bed
Fly over the ocean sleepy head
Back to daddy and my toys
I bet he's waiting that naughty boy.


For Alex from Evelyn and Grandma ***

It was a yellow background,
The sort of yellow that lets the light in,
Here and there were brown rubbings from furniture,
But the overall pattern of black arabesque stalks and couplets of flowers;
A spiky pattern , rather,
Not quite nice in some way.
I expect the rolls had been a reduction at sale time,
Those January trips with dad in the rain,
Arms laden and collars tightly round faces.

I would sit by the fire tracing the design,
Making up stories in the landscape;
That yellow wallpaper was my childhood,
My father's love, my mother's comforter,
I am sitting by it now just remembering.

Love Mary **

No trespassing, the sorrows are mine
The seeing were blinkered and blind
It’s permanent, an indelibility, by star
Shimmering in the blackness of right.


Goodnight my loved ones.
Mary ***

In trying not to hate
I determined my fate
For people knew
I was kind and true
But they did abuse
The few.

And the wind
Will tell the birds,
The birds the bees,
The bees the flowers,
The flowers the people
Who carry the flowers
When I die because of
Lies.

Love Mary x