and tonight
we have nothing to say

Unable to brush my teeth
bec throwing up from stress

there is no autocheck
on my beliefs

my heart is abused by my mind
and it can just stare paralyzed

of im going to have anything
its because You led me to it

the sun is shining through the window
and inside the weight of black thickness

i fall in and out
so i don’t trust love now

there is too much to figure out
too much expected of me

i feel awful
i cant escape

what do i do with an awful feeling
that keeps coming back all the time

why does your simulation require
stabbings to my gut and a boulder on my chest

all this discomfort
and no relief

i think resilience
turned into anxiety

self esteem wasnt in your mind
those who were watered in sunshine blossomed

the mini high you get after your anxiety makes you throw up yellow stuff in the morning
its the small gifts in life thank you g-d

whats if my sadness all this time
was never up to me

can you love me when the dust is not settled

emotions won’t **** you
but that’s the worst part

for now ill pray to G-d
for always ill keep wondering

she told me she thought i did a good job
and my brain called her a liar

i can’t be there for you
because i feel all your pain

im desprate
im taking a gamble on G-d

every long day
adds up to a pixel

living is
overrated

i want to play by the rules
but i do not know them

its a secret how to dance in the world

i would like to chase my dreams
but for now at least its not a nightmare

just squirming for a life of the least discomfort and its not working

adulthood ***** because im responsible to solve my own suffering i dont have a solution for

all the wisdom has not been enough i am here in pain

you dont need to win at life
if its a stupid game either way

i am worthy of love in the storm

my life is me trying to avoid suffering but not knowing how but knowing that its in my hands you get why i hate it here

there is no peace of mind
in the pursuit of it

let me make it simple
(all are painful though)
gd doesnt exist
gd is aweful
i dont understand gd but hes good still in a very complicated (and unnecessary way if you as me)

definitely one hundred percent doing this whole life thing wrong i dont know how to do this

when i write about gd
no one can relate

quitting therapy is the depths

my emotions attack me
i am defenseless

yea
life is long

how is it legal to hold up a palestinian flag if it’s illegal to hold up a **** flag?

i get why they take drugs
my life relatively isnt bad
and yet the feelings are too painful
constantly being wounded over and over

an insomniac
with an alarm clock

i didn’t pray to gd today
i always do
i didn’t sing your praises
or read how you carry me
i wanted this poem to rhyme
so you can find it cute
but i always do doesn’t rhyme with
i feel so broken and like you don’t even care and how do you put me in all this pain and my life makes me feel like i want to die and nothing is fair and im suffering in emotional pain too often for like ten years already and it’s not like im not trying not to suffer, i am but i dont seem to know the code they say embrace your feelings but then also let go and i feel like i dont know how to accept my feelings or let go and it results in so much suffering

so sometimes life doesnt rhyme

i wont write about
the peace i feel now

someone is playing a prank on me probably with this life im living

try not to suffer
and suffer more
or suffer another way

my life is coming apart at the seems
whats next

bold of you to keep on asking
to trust the faulty process

you tell me its all in the mind but when circumstances change my throat opens again