you dont need to win at life
if its a stupid game either way

every long day
adds up to a pixel

the flower placed in less sunlight wilted
and so she blamed herself for it

pushed onto the tightrope of life
continuously plummeting into pain

exactly when i need to think straight
my mind gets clogged

gd i wouldnt let someone i love
feel the way i feel

if gd doesnt exist im crazy
but there is no way to know

my brain
is toxic

can you love me when the dust is not settled

i dont want to feel
i dont want to suffer

inside myself feels awful
i hate going about this

i get why they take drugs
my life relatively isnt bad
and yet the feelings are too painful
constantly being wounded over and over

it usually doesnt work out in the end
and life keeps living

bold of you to keep on asking
to trust the faulty process

it will pinch your inside
and squish your heart
logic won’t calm it
but i am here with you

i am worthy of love in the storm

let me make it simple
(all are painful though)
gd doesnt exist
gd is aweful
i dont understand gd but hes good still in a very complicated (and unnecessary way if you as me)

there is no autocheck
on my beliefs

life is me trapped inside searching for exits
hopeful for a moment to escape from bolted doors

too often i have my emotions stab me in my heart
with every beat another stab
i dont know when it will stop
and when it does its sure to return soon

all the wisdom has not been enough i am here in pain

i dont get it

quitting therapy is the depths

i never asked for this life
but nobody asked me

you can vent
but we only care if you do so delicately

yes fear will stop me because
im terrified of feeling like i want to die

sometimes my bad days
are many rounds around the clock

Gd really be using me for entertainment at this point

someone is playing a prank on me probably with this life im living

my life is a prank being played on me

i dont want to be here
i dont have a choice

and how can you know true love
when true love faded in the past

What looked like a rock was just an image on a hollow inflatable

i’m drowning in the ocean
with boulders on my chest

why do I always also get a headache
during emotional turmoil

i hope to abandon you someday hello poetry

not wanting to die
is good enough

either G-d or life
is a hoax

The water is seeping out of my eyes
I’m left with a dehydrated headache

my emotions keep
throwing me out of whack

i can’t be there for you
because i feel all your pain

i dont feel regular
regular people dont feel all this weight

art is imperfection
otherwise it would be a photograph

can i just have legs
i dont get it

im not the writer of my story
im the main character in this chaotic novel

let me at least revel
in the moments i dont wish to die

i wish i can make whatever is killing you go away
i see you being beaten
and i know it hurts you so bad
i want it to stop for you
but whenever i used to try i felt the painful death myself

G-d if i knew for sure
you’d be the center for sure

what did i do to deserve this
im trying my best over here

ill either see you never
or forever

edit: i hope i never see you