the pain is always deeper than the pleasure

when you turn to G-d
and don’t feel Him with you

there’s a virus in my brain
it’s always chaos on the screen

Unable to brush my teeth
bec throwing up from stress

I’m feeling worse and worse
getting older and older

im having a terrible time here
and i dont know the solution

i would like to chase my dreams
but for now at least its not a nightmare

yea
life is long

oh just please G-d be more clear
on how exactly you need me to dance

my life is coming apart at the seems
whats next

my heart is abused by my mind
and it can just stare paralyzed

i get why they take drugs
my life relatively isnt bad
and yet the feelings are too painful
constantly being wounded over and over

i’m drowning in the ocean
with boulders on my chest

I don’t care for the rat race
and if HE exists, HE doesn’t play either way

therapy is a drop of water
when the whole worlds on fire

its a secret how to dance in the world

do pained people turn into poets
or would they be a poet without pain

when i write about gd
no one can relate

yes fear will stop me because
im terrified of feeling like i want to die

G-d if i knew for sure
you’d be the center for sure

my brain
is toxic

gd if i loved someone
i would make her feel so loved

can you love me when the dust is not settled

i hope to abandon you someday hello poetry

i never asked for this life
but nobody asked me

sometimes my bad days
are many rounds around the clock

the facts of my life
are a weird combination

gd if i loved someone
i definitely wouldnt make them live this life i have

gd if i loved someone
id never let her feel abandoned

gd i wouldnt let someone i love
feel the way i feel

how is it legal to hold up a palestinian flag if it’s illegal to hold up a **** flag?

it usually doesnt work out in the end
and life keeps living

my life is me trying to avoid suffering but not knowing how but knowing that its in my hands you get why i hate it here

the mini high you get after your anxiety makes you throw up yellow stuff in the morning
its the small gifts in life thank you g-d

just cried my heart out to gd
or a crazy lady just spoke to herself
ill never know because gd doesnt seem to ever answer my prayers

living is
overrated

a force in my head
overwhelming magnetic power
all it wants
is to **** me
chaotic
emergencies
******* me into
a black hole  
all you want is
my consciousness
hostage from the light
the spirit
from joy of just being

bold of you to keep on asking
to trust the faulty process

try not to suffer
and suffer more
or suffer another way

when i go up to heaven
i hope its all explained to me

im desprate
im taking a gamble on G-d

too often i have my emotions stab me in my heart
with every beat another stab
i dont know when it will stop
and when it does its sure to return soon

there is no peace of mind
in the pursuit of it

there is no autocheck
on my beliefs

journey makes it sound like an outdoor adventure
its actually more like hell treck

adulthood ***** because im responsible to solve my own suffering i dont have a solution for

let me make it simple
(all are painful though)
gd doesnt exist
gd is aweful
i dont understand gd but hes good still in a very complicated (and unnecessary way if you as me)

if gd doesnt exist im crazy
but there is no way to know

emotions won’t **** you
but that’s the worst part

when a headache is the least painful thing
i’ve felt today