when you turn to G-d
and don’t feel Him with you

the pain is always deeper than the pleasure

Unable to brush my teeth
bec throwing up from stress

i would like to chase my dreams
but for now at least its not a nightmare

there’s a virus in my brain
it’s always chaos on the screen

I’m feeling worse and worse
getting older and older

im having a terrible time here
and i dont know the solution

yea
life is long

my life is coming apart at the seems
whats next

oh just please G-d be more clear
on how exactly you need me to dance

my heart is abused by my mind
and it can just stare paralyzed

i get why they take drugs
my life relatively isnt bad
and yet the feelings are too painful
constantly being wounded over and over

I don’t care for the rat race
and if HE exists, HE doesn’t play either way

its a secret how to dance in the world

therapy is a drop of water
when the whole worlds on fire

i’m drowning in the ocean
with boulders on my chest

do pained people turn into poets
or would they be a poet without pain

my brain
is toxic

yes fear will stop me because
im terrified of feeling like i want to die

when i write about gd
no one can relate

gd if i loved someone
i would make her feel so loved

i hope to abandon you someday hello poetry

i never asked for this life
but nobody asked me

G-d if i knew for sure
you’d be the center for sure

can you love me when the dust is not settled

gd if i loved someone
id never let her feel abandoned

gd i wouldnt let someone i love
feel the way i feel

sometimes my bad days
are many rounds around the clock

gd if i loved someone
i definitely wouldnt make them live this life i have

a force in my head
overwhelming magnetic power
all it wants
is to **** me
chaotic
emergencies
******* me into
a black hole  
all you want is
my consciousness
hostage from the light
the spirit
from joy of just being

it usually doesnt work out in the end
and life keeps living

the facts of my life
are a weird combination

bold of you to keep on asking
to trust the faulty process

how is it legal to hold up a palestinian flag if it’s illegal to hold up a **** flag?

my life is me trying to avoid suffering but not knowing how but knowing that its in my hands you get why i hate it here

too often i have my emotions stab me in my heart
with every beat another stab
i dont know when it will stop
and when it does its sure to return soon

just cried my heart out to gd
or a crazy lady just spoke to herself
ill never know because gd doesnt seem to ever answer my prayers

the mini high you get after your anxiety makes you throw up yellow stuff in the morning
its the small gifts in life thank you g-d

try not to suffer
and suffer more
or suffer another way

im desprate
im taking a gamble on G-d

there is no peace of mind
in the pursuit of it

there is no autocheck
on my beliefs

living is
overrated

adulthood ***** because im responsible to solve my own suffering i dont have a solution for

let me make it simple
(all are painful though)
gd doesnt exist
gd is aweful
i dont understand gd but hes good still in a very complicated (and unnecessary way if you as me)

i don’t get to choose when you come and go
i don’t get to choose how long you stay
i don’t get to choose how loud you are
i dont get to choose how intense you hurt

life is incomprehensible

when i go up to heaven
i hope its all explained to me

journey makes it sound like an outdoor adventure
its actually more like hell treck

if gd doesnt exist im crazy
but there is no way to know