i don’t get to choose when you come and go
i don’t get to choose how long you stay
i don’t get to choose how loud you are
i dont get to choose how intense you hurt

life is incomprehensible

when a headache is the least painful thing
i’ve felt today

i didn’t pray to gd today
i always do
i didn’t sing your praises
or read how you carry me
i wanted this poem to rhyme
so you can find it cute
but i always do doesn’t rhyme with
i feel so broken and like you don’t even care and how do you put me in all this pain and my life makes me feel like i want to die and nothing is fair and im suffering in emotional pain too often for like ten years already and it’s not like im not trying not to suffer, i am but i dont seem to know the code they say embrace your feelings but then also let go and i feel like i dont know how to accept my feelings or let go and it results in so much suffering

so sometimes life doesnt rhyme

ill either see you never
or forever

edit: i hope i never see you

waving a palestinian flag is not freedom of speech it is hate speech. It is the new **** flag

you tell me its all in the mind but when circumstances change my throat opens again

self esteem wasnt in your mind
those who were watered in sunshine blossomed

why is the air
choking my neck

when youre not drowning
youre floating

either G-d or life
is a hoax

G-d you better have good explanations
when i get up there

its either all over eventually or
there was meaning all along

why do I always also get a headache
during emotional turmoil

art is imperfection
otherwise it would be a photograph

seriously G-d
you expectations are wild

i dont like it here
i never wanted this

gd why do you let this happen to me
im not sure you will help me

the sun is shining through the window
and inside the weight of black thickness

i can’t be there for you
because i feel all your pain

What looked like a rock was just an image on a hollow inflatable

why does your simulation require
stabbings to my gut and a boulder on my chest

he rejected me
it hurts
it wasnt meant to be
this pain is meant to be?
who are you mr meant to be

i dont want to be here
i dont have a choice

i think resilience
turned into anxiety

what do i do with pain
that is clinging to me

my life is a relentless series of
a boulder on my chest on and off

all this discomfort
and no relief

Kfir, Ariel, Shiri

and now even sleep
has no rest

you cant force me
you can manipulate me

it will pinch your inside
and squish your heart
logic won’t calm it
but i am here with you

definitely one hundred percent doing this whole life thing wrong i dont know how to do this

i don’t trust my reasoning
it’s not reliable

just tell me ill eventually
have clarity on existence

im too sad
too present you a clever poem

when is it intuition
and when is it fear

let me at least revel
in the moments i dont wish to die

my emotions attack me
i am defenseless

what did i do to deserve this
im trying my best over here

is this sadness my fate
will there be an escape

she told me she thought i did a good job
and my brain called her a liar

do i know deep down
or am i delusional

G-d if you exist
how’d you come about

im not going to have beliefs
the invisible truth will just be

my sadness is as attractive as my poems

the only hard part
is not knowing how

imagine having an incessant weight on your chest
and an awful feeling inside
but expecting yourself to be normal

i dont want to feel
i dont want to suffer