vendi: Poems

Nov 16 · 33

vendi Nov 16

that you could live somewhere else
anywhere else
in a single moment
flying away
beyond the horizon
without a regret
without a goodbye
just fly away?
you can do it now.

Nov 16 · 28

down in Barcelona

vendi Nov 16

down in Barcelona

never ending pressure builds up
reaching deep inside my chest.
only night can take it away
for a little while, just until dawn

how to stir away out of this fear,
find a safe space to breathe in
and believe that it’s just a stage
that it will pass and leave me be

#deepression

Aug 15 · 71

to Vienna

vendi Aug 15

to Vienna

The city of flint, light on my spark,
call me home there, where under
the rubble of a northern void, under
the weight of suspended jardines,
beats up your exhausted heart.

Call me for fun, catch me on hello, promise me your stars and then
never leave me quietly alone,
while you are still dancing pretty
stretched out in the nightly air.

Aug 15 · 187

haiku

vendi Aug 15

haiku

this is the last round
my feet will touch the ground
i’m glad you are around

Aug 15 · 49

like a thousand suns

vendi Aug 15

like a thousand suns

like a thousand suns
I’m making my way
through your universe
breathing heavily
into your shoulder

close your eyes and
catch my violent kiss
wake up and look at me
the way only you can
make me feel so alive

Aug 15 · 47

Code Poetry

vendi Aug 15

Code Poetry

todrive() or !todrive()
del memories
upload(consciousness)
try wake_up()
until dawn==True
catch dream

Aug 11 · 49

for Julia

vendi Aug 11

for Julia

frivolous nymph casting her gaze
in the green shades of the tree
touching her softly under the moon
caressed by the shooting stars

my feelings tremble and faint
consistently failing to accept her
being merely herself on her own
behalf behind the fading lights

fill up my glass, give away my sigh
got to have your own source
to water your plants
not waiting for the clouds to pass

Aug 10 · 397

the only reason

vendi Aug 10

the only reason

the only reason to be down
is to fight for your love and
not get enough of it from you.

the only reason to be sad
is to see your eyes not looking
at me while driving me home.

the only reason to be scared
is to hear your voice not telling
me the sweetest of fairy tales.

the only reason to leave you
is to wait for you to come back
to me a better man towards me

Aug 3 · 49

are you happy?

vendi Aug 3

are you happy?

i am talking to you!
are you content
with what you’ve got?
with everything you call your own for a while.

tonight and every night
be here, listen to what you’ve got to tell.

My grace is not a blessing
it is an owe to the humankind
for those who carry pieces of the common mind.

Aug 3 · 88

don't give up

vendi Aug 3

don't give up

what do you want?
think. what is it
you dream about?
you can’t sleep at night about.

go for it, girl.
be the one you want to be.
don’t regret
the things or people that you can not have.
they are not there for you.

good. ok.
stop sobbing
it will be all right
just like any other day
when you want to be heard.

Dec 2022 · 438

well farewell

vendi Dec 2022

well farewell

it is time to tell you
that it is time to leave the past and the futures.
you come with me now.
we’ve had enough of you and your nagging.
you are free. get up. it is time. he is waiting.

I did not know that i believe in the fairy tales you told me once.
You start believing when you need some support
only then it is too late to change the flow of the stream.
it is too late to comply to the rules of the church next to your home.
There is only one church left to you
the one you have the key to
that do not match any other door.

It is time to tell the truth to oneself
about the dreams you leave behind when you take your last breath.
the last deep take of the fresh oxygen going down your lungs then you sleep.

a long healthy life begins anew once you see the light in front of you
then you know it is the time to take it all and never forget what you have seen here.

#night

Apr 2018 · 197

what is it?

vendi Apr 2018

what is it?

What is it you want to write onto an empty sheet?
What is it that troubles you today, my dear girl?
The sorrow will pass, it is not worth holding on to.
Just let it go. I am here to keep you sane.
Your own sense of balance.
Don’t hesitate to write down your mind before it runs away.
You know it well, just follow the flow of thought and let it out.
At once you can breathe deeper again.

Jan 2018 · 262

on a pile of sh*t

vendi Jan 2018

on a pile of sh*t

what will happen tomorrow or the day after?
same all over the place. carrying rounds of
lies. and getting tons of applauses???

this is no manifesto. this is a testimony of a
serendipitous observer of a common hysteria.
here in your arms lies the truth that you try to forget.

we need no education not the one dumbing the minds.
it fails to deliver the knowledge you seek but delivers
the obsession with the systematic bias for the rest of your life.

Jan 2018 · 321

tired

vendi Jan 2018

tired

my eyes hurt my eyelids popping out at night.
forever alone stuck in my bedroom with the windows shut.
i am tired of leaning against the non-existing walls
of my self-confidence.
it evaporates with every breath i take and every night
i fail to fall asleep.

Dec 2017 · 230

pretending

vendi Dec 2017

pretending

You know everything that is there to come upon you,
which you are to accept without looking for an escape.
Destiny does sound creepy, scary and pathological, like a curse
on my veins. I don’t want my life to be decided now and
for all that is there to have, to fetch, enjoy, loose and regret
of not trying to be everything at the same time.

To be a bird flying free and aimless looking for a spot with
enough sunlight and a few branches to hold on to.
Why do you need your ambitions if the song does not go along
with your tune? Why do you need to impress everyone around
with something you pretend may matter for someone one day?

Dec 2017 · 230

i like it

vendi Dec 2017

i like it

to be on my own
against the wall
behind the current
outside of the stream
inside of me
alone in my loneliness
abandoned and free
to live out of this world.

it is fresh and inspiring to be oneself.
one morning you wake up and don’t regret
to be here and now
alive and breathing
aware of your own body
on your own will.

#loneliness

Dec 2017 · 520

dead within

vendi Dec 2017

dead within

buried under a mountain of excuses
piling up from the ground
of the simple confession
to oneself. For the truth is there
shining though the ******* of the fake
pretence and the shameful glory
of the common mind trapped in the game.

Being someone I am not is not a choice or a profession.
I would not volunteer to die without ever being born.

Nov 2017 · 215

I hear in my head

vendi Nov 2017

I hear in my head

what you did not say
everything you forgot to mention
and are silent about.

My endless ambition to see you again
and I learn to forget how you hurt me
every single time we meet.

My last good-bye got stuck in transmission.
I am waving hello but you would not look
down below what you deem to be the sky.

— The End —