Angela Baerthel

Angela Baerthel Dec 2017

Its been one year.
Our friendship has grown.
But yet you don't want to bone.

You have shown me the world.
One I've never known.
But I feel all alone.

You hold my hand.
You hug me close.
You cuddle next to me.
And rub your feet with mine.

But not one kiss.
Not a slow caress.
A Tug of my hair.

But I do care.
You been here for me.
Cheering me on through my sobriety.

But I want you to touch my body.
I want to feel the fire...the lust!
But if I bring it up..Its just a bust...

I'll just sit at this table eating my pecan pie with the sweet crust!

Missing the connection

Angela Baerthel Dec 2017

Birthday wishes

Today is the day of my birth.
Should be able to smile.
Should be a joyful day.
With friends and family all around.
With my feet touching the ground , moving to the sound of the beats.
A sweet treat to share.
A heart full of cares.
But instead I get lost in the stare.
The past comes up again and I expect nothing.
Its just another day in my life
Still not a wife.
Still cuts like a knife.
Reality just ****** bites.
But I do have One thing!
My sobriety.
With which is a everyday fight.
But Whatever. Better late than never!

Happy Birthday!

Angela Baerthel Dec 2017

The Credit score

Is it over yet?
Has it come to a close?
My days off are long. ..too long.
Im getting ready to be whole.
Whilst digging my way out of the deep dark hole of myself.
Radical Acceptance they pour into me.
It's all sureal and doubtful.
Going against the very gain in which I believe.
There is so much we can yet achieve.
But we are just tools .
To move as they please.
I've been fighting forever to not be one of These...
Getting more tired each day of the games we have to play with Those.
To just have a small piece of peace..

grr and ****

Angela Baerthel Dec 2017

Christmas something

Good Morning America!
Smile bright!
Its the Catholic Church Holiday.
They choose the day of his birthday.
We all ..well most of us ..get the day off
of slavery. .opps I meant work.
To be with family and friends.
To get through the day and not cry.
To not fight.
To not tell that aunt to just *******.
Enjoy a variety of generous foods.
Stuffing our bellies and singing the blues.
Watching the kids smile as they open their gifts.
That they all had on their wish list.
Seeing my kids get paper bags of socks.
While the others get the larger big box.
I truly tryed..but finally said goodbye!
Now we
Celebrate
without them
New traditions.
Bright new starts...where no one falls apart..
Merry Christmas to you and all your good hearts!

i dont like pretenders...

Angela Baerthel Dec 2017

Stealing is a Felony

I stand on the outside looking in.
Im standing looking from the outside
wondering why?
Wondering why I can't open your eyes.
Seeing things in a different light.
Looking at it brought me laughter!
To others it brings anger.
No matter the words they threw at me.
I just could not stop.
I smiled and stood my ground.
I walked away and ignored those sounds.

being poor sometimes brings a different reaction. .

Angela Baerthel Dec 2017

Walk on..

Today's I ask why is there hate?
Why is it to some such a fate?
walk on... walk on...
Today I ask why are there so many who are poor?
Why do so many close that door?
walk on... walk on...
Do not say you're sorry!
Do not say you care!
For your fake words are too much to bare.
Never seems fair.
walk on... walk on...
Face the world with your eyes open wide!
Always remember it's never good-bye. walk on...walk on...

Fake support and fake people

Angela Baerthel Nov 2017

Continues on...

By the age of twelve
She was leveled off
By four young boys who were curious as hell
Covered her mouth told not to yell
Once again told not to tell
All around her they wondered what or why she fell
A story that's hard to sell
Another step into this shell
Her mid spinning
The one where she learned to take all the blame
No longer tame
Only shamed
To think that to some life's just a game
So began a life of despair
Beyond repair
No longer cares
No one with who to share.

****