lips like poison,
eyes as green as envy,
one word and you have me
falling to your knees.
one kiss and i have blood dripping
from my own lips.
you chase me,
until i’m intoxicated by lust.
your body finally intertwines with mine.
yet i wake up feeling loved,
but to no one around.

looking into your eyes
reminded me of a galaxy,
too far to discover.
you were venturing your thoughts
while i was locked out.
looking at your lips
reminded me of the clouds
on a stormy day.
so tempting to touch,
yet so dangerous.
hearing your voice
brought me into a blissful peace
i have yet to discover on my own.
everything about you
screams into my soul,
reminding me that you are
my forbidden fruit.
but oh what I wouldn’t do
to take one more bite.

in the thoughts
of everything that has been
and everything that could have been.
looking back at the storms
caused by uncontrollable weather.
how selfish of me to compare my situations
to weather that is no one’s choice,
like I didn’t make the choice to create
the tornado in a bottle.
i feel as if i am God,
but only bringing havoc.
i’m so far down in a rabbit hole
of nothing but chaos
i’ve forgotten how to grab a branch
and slow myself down.
get it together
is such a small phrase
but a much larger task.

Looking into those eyes
And trying to find hope
Is a task in itself.
You scour fields
And hike over mountains,
You find puddles
Of lakes left behind
From dreams forgotten.
You try to re-emerge the memories
Of that dreamer child
Who promised herself she’d be a doer.
Looking at those hands,
Studying the calluses
You’ve made from the strength
You’ve tried to gain
Makes you self aware of your journey.
You look at all the scars
From the years of an adventurous childhood.
You think of when you weren’t so secluded,
When you weren’t so scared to live.
You look up and wonder
How you slowly lost yourself
And didn’t notice until it was too late
To go back.

I keep saying “believe in yourself”,
but i won’t believe in me.
to expect you to do this,
how much of a hypocrite would i be?
i’m in a garden
of roses
But still see a ****.
I’m expecting to grow,
but won’t move to new soil.
every time i have the opportunity
i recoil.
it’s time to notice my worth
instead of viewing myself as the dirt.