CJ Tims

CJ Tims Jan 2019

I love you
As a friend.
No, no that isn’t right.
See that’s what i say
To hide how i feel.
When i say i love you
I mean
I love you.
With no establishments,
No walls.
See i love you
As the moon
Loves the stars.
There is them,
There is us.
And there is you.
I love you.

CJ Tims Dec 2018

Hopelessly

A part of me rests in your hands.
It took me great strength to give this up.
You carry it around carelessly,
As if it were a gum wrapper
You’re ready to drop.
You slowly discard these pieces
As i follow behind
Picking them up,
And once again
Placing them into your hands.
See that’s the thing about being blind
About one sided love.
Do this for decades,
And here i am.
Cleaning up MY mess
YOU made.
And still I never leave.

CJ Tims Dec 2018

Lonely.

The fear of isolation overwhelms me
As tears stream down my face
For no one to see.
It seems as if they are in competition,
Who can run faster?
They leave my cheeks,
Because even they
Don’t want to keep me company.

CJ Tims Nov 2018

Apologies from a broken heart

I am ashamed
At how broken i am.
I apologize
For the amount of stress
I may cause in the midst of your
Efforts of trying to keep me held together.
I apologize
that i continue to fall apart
Before your glue has time to dry.
I apologize
That every time you pick a piece of me up,
Yet another breaks.
I am trying.
You are fixing me slower than i am breaking,
And i am ashamed.
Thank you.
Thank you for not giving up
On a broken piece of nothing.

CJ Tims Nov 2018

Love is Scary.

Have you ever felt true love?
Gut wrenching, fear in your heart
True love?
The love where being apart
For one day
Feels like ten years.
The love where thinking about them
Sends you off to the stars,
Lost in the galaxies,
Unaware of reality.
Have you ever felt true love?
The love where your heart
Has been lost,
And found only in their hands.
The love where the thought of losing them
Sends you into the abyss,
Feeling lost once again.

CJ Tims Sep 2018

Loss of words

My words used to flow from me
Like the sad, heavy raindrops
From the darkest if grey clouds.
My words used to have meaning,
Enough to stand beside the Oxford Dictionary.
Now,
Well now
My words stay in a box
Locked in a cage.
My words are unbeknownst to meaning
Like a newborn to sunlight.
Oh where did you go,
Tools in which my thoughts conveyed?

CJ Tims Sep 2018

Losing trust

Actions speak louder than words.
You won’t fully understand this
Until you’re standing in front
Of a broken heart
From the lies you’ve told.
You won’t fully understand this
Until you’ve turned the light drizzle of rain
Into a hurricane.
You won’t fully understand this
Until you’ve watched someone’s trust
Leave their body and crash
Into a million pieces below.
And you won’t fully understand this
Until you’re standing in the ruins
Worse than Athens
That you’ve created from those actions.