Let me tell you a story of a girl.
One who was broken and bruised.
A girl who lost hope and didn't know if it even existed.
She came to this world by an accident,
Loved by her mother but forgotten by her father.
She grew up lonely waiting for a prince to come save her.
She dreamed of a father who would have tea parties with her.
She dreamed of one that wouldn't just help her with her math homework,
But would take her to a daddy-daughter dance and let her dance on his shoes.
She was lonely enough to make up stories her mind, get lost in books, and play with her imaginary friends.
She was the type of girl who felt so deeply, to the point of getting hurt.
You can imagine a little girl watching Madeline in a guest bed before going to sleep.
But what you can't imagine is what will happen next.
A man coming into her room and taking her innocence away from her.
She remained lonely and confused about men.
Whether they could be trusted or not.
She decided they couldn’t.
Even now she cannot say the words out loud.
The word that starts with “M” with "R"...
Makes her shake, brings her back to that dark room.
To that moment he touched her.
To that second that changed her life.
She’s getting better.
But that memory haunts her.
The feeling of him makes her tear up.
But one thing he did not take away from her is her spark.
She still can make a room light up by walking into it.
And when she’s ready,
She’ll make her voice loud.
Loud enough for the very back row.
Her story is not over yet.

Hey, it’s been a while.
Truth is I’ve been lost...
I’m still lost. But I’m getting to where I need to be.
I can feel it.
Just be patient with me, while I find the person I’m meant to be.

They always say, “Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill.”

Well, what if my mountain looks like a mole hill to you?

Life always brings in the unexpected.
The unexpected blessings and unexpected curses.
Sometimes they come in the same form.
That's why they call it a blessing and a curse.
They even disguise themselves as the other.
“A blessing in disguise.” or “I knew that was too good to be true.”
And that’s what you were, unexpected, at first a blessing,
But now I’m not really sure.
Because the smile on my face calls you a blessing.
But my underwear on the floor that was taken off by your hands calls you a curse.
So maybe you are both, you are two things in one form.
I can learn to love both sides of you.

I’ve had to say goodbye to a lot of things this year.
But from all these things That have been ripped from me I am realizing my purpose.
This plan that my creator has written for me that has ultimately making my dreams come true. In ways that have changed my life.
All of what I have today required a lot of pain and so much patience.
I am thankful for the pain I went through.
I still struggle with my past but I’m learning that I will have the opportunity to digress, and share, and mentor.
The way I was molested somehow taught me to value my body.  
The words he said to me somehow taught me that I was worth something.
The way everyone left somehow gave me a reason to stay even if it was hard.
All these things just to somehow be, a blessing in disguise.

Stand out in the pouring rain.
Feel the drops on your skin.
Look at the sky even though it hurts.
The pain is a reminder that you are alive.
Feel your soaked clothes and your drenched hair.
They remind you that you are present in this moment.
Look to where the clouds are traveling.
Then look to where they have already been.
The blue sky and the dark sky seamlessly merged together.
Remember that even though you walked away you were creating something new.
Cleansing yourself in the purest form.
Finding the person you were meant to be.