A theory at birth the human mind is a blank slate
We teach our child to; love, live, hurt, and hate

  Prejudice judgments, we make them
often every day
Yet, we are embarrassed when our children repeat what we say

We blame others when our children regurgitate
Children are sponges they listen,learn, reverberate    

To say your child didn't here or understand You
Its' irresponsible to have that point of view

Music, TV , friends, inappropriate behavior is all around
Truth be told Christian values are hard to be found

Your child was a gift entrusted to your care
We live in a time when evil is everywhere

We are molding young minds into who they will be
We need to be diligent good against evil only time can forese

You can hide from
the rest of the world
BUT
You can't hide from yourself

Deal with it

I have become
A master at hiding
Smiling just enough

Yet, looking closely
The eyes never lie
The pain; hurt, sadness
All there to see

When the world is
Upside down
I  graciously help others

My undevided attention
Intently listening to
Their problems

So, I don't have to
Share my feelings

Have  you ever noticed
When somebody asks you
"How are you "
they really don't want
To know the TRUTH

Hiding in plain sight

We have become
a society of disconnect
Interactive  on-Line
without physical contact

Journey
of self

we always
move in the
same
direction

as our most
dominant
thought

Think about it

There are times
when I'm a
scatterbrain  

Other times
my thoughts
are crystal-clear  
profound thoughts
come to me
at the oddest times  
Perhaps
this is what happens
when I  
multi-task

How ridiculous
I have been
Playing on observance
yet; blind to reality
relentlessly searching
for what I seek
not knowing
why
When contentment was
within my grasp

Impetuous , Impatient, Demanding
Aching For Fresh Meat
Stocking, salivating  
Only to want, then

Imagine ,Dream ,Fantazize  
The Sensation  
To Devour  
Flesh

Man
A Supreme Being is Nothing
In the wake of a Woman
Hungry, for more
She
Allows His Touch

Older and older
The clock ticks
Fewer and fewer
The men pick
The games
I use to play
Are now fantacies
I dream of today
Older and wiser
Perhaps
Now I take
Sunday Naps

Peter
Loved his wife of 14 years
He put her through school then
She left him broken hearted in tears

His life would never be the same
He started his downhill spiral of shame
Besieged with self doubt and blame
He turned to drugs to hide his pain

Christmas 2002
Peter came to my home spending his last dime
I did not know I would be seeing him for the last time
we laughed and drank a few beers how does that song go?
"still crazy after all these years"

I was in tears my marriage was dead
I told Peter of my escalating fights,
Every detail of the devastating words said
My marriage was on its last thread

Peter made me promise
Not to leave my husband having hope for my better life  
He told me living was not worth it without his wife
I promise to give my marriage one more try
As we hug and said goodbye
A pain in  my heart, a tear in my eye

Peters flew home December 29, 2002
for our (oldest brother's)  Birthday
My three  brothers we're going to play
Peter had four motorcycles and was giving one away
If they each had a bike they would have more fun
To take long bike rides in the sun

The video camera rolling my brothers wife asks;
Aren't you afraid that you're going to die?
NO said Peter and here's why
" if I die riding my bike don't be Sad , be glad ,
I wouldn't died doing something I loved"
(An hour later God had taken him to heaven above )

They say (whoever they are )
We are the sum of
All events in our past

Exsperiences
Are what facilitate us
With who we are today

They say
We spend our whole adult life
getting over our childhood

I say
do not let your past dictate
who you are
rather
let it assist you
with
who you want
to become

If you are married or in love Valentine's Day
Comes from Heaven angels up above
Deliveries to work; are gifts of candy and flowers
evening plans, a romantic candlelight dinner for hours
followed by hugs and endless kisses
many sweet untold wishes

However; if you are alone or single
this day is an empty heart that sadly tingles
Valentine's Day is filled with regret and used-to-be's
one by one your coworker receive their deliveries
thier glances of pity and sympathy deepen your pain
hoping for the Day to end before you go insane

A commercialized day every place, in your face
now lonely bitterness are your grace
hurtful memories of an old world versus new
dinner for one instead of two
No I do not like Valentine's Day
I wish it would please just go away

There was a time when I too received deliveries
before the day of now and my miseries
the man I love did not come home
I spent Valentine's Day staring out the window alone
I cried myself to sleep
I thought life could not be more skin deep

He came home after a night at the bar
he had brought me flowers yet left them in the car
The next day as I awoke
not a word between us we spoke
he put the wilted flowers in a vase
you had to have seen the look on my face

The once beautiful long stem red roses had wilted
like our love empty and jilted
I silently took a pair of scissors without dread
Snipped the Roses one by one at the base of the bulb head
My husband said nothing only shook his head in shame
silently I set the scissors down without placing blame

I have never received flowers to this day
  we never speak  of it, what is the point anyway
Valentine's Day is a day to rub in your face  
now lonely bitterness are my grace
No I do not like Valentine's Day
I wish it would  please just go away

I have a dream of my very own
it's been my imaginary friend
My comfort when I am alone

I no longer condone
listening to lies on the phone
no more arguing, I keep an even tone

My dream is big enough to share
with that special someone out there
I thank God for making it just for me

I have kissed the past good bye
This resolve only I can make
No more wedding cake

It's all part of making me new again
No more fake smiles or pretend
I am learning to be,My own best friend

Sundays child
full of grace
always a smile
on his face
Longing for a lady
Who wears black lace
Town between
Good and evil
Wanting to be
Within Gods place
Sundays child
Full of grace

I used to pray
" let mother be alive"
father told us
She was dead

sisters whispers
that's not true
He took us away
So now I knew

Years of searching
to find her and care
many empty faces
it's awful out there

The streets of LA
a bitter cold place
survival changes
God's good Grace

My prayer
has been answered
she was alive
dying each passing day

God gave her to me
then he took her away

No more
do I
pray

Walking down the pale blue corridor
Framed doors line the sides, knowing what lies behind
Each door has two buttons, one light, enter or exit

Old victorian furniture, flickering candle light
seems to light the walls, the last door on the left
open waiting my arrival

A lump forms in my throat, my eyes water uncontrollably,
trembling as I gasp for a normal breath
Family look and talk to me ,here nor do I see them

At first, I only dare to see the flowers on the gray casket
my heart races
The bangs on top of her forhead every hair in place
Catholic cross, collar lace, her body out of context
to her personality and soul for those living in the world of their make-believe

They made her into what they needed her to be
to absolve them from any wrongdoing,
her family never understood her
They paid their final respects with hidden emotions of
guilt and shame

I reminisced  of a childhood adventure
implicated
concluded with a smile
Strange what I chose to remember
In the mist of my sorrow

Overwhelming  bewilderment
places left unseen ,words left unsaid  
Funerals are for the living not the dead
through moments like these
one finds inner strength
Tribute to MOM

My heart is confused  
my thoughts of wanting
cloud my head
My thoughts of needing
To jump into bed
My thoughts of hurting
the heart is dead
my thoughts of wondering
was it something I said
I need more
I do not want just companionship
I do not want the warmth of a body  
I do not want just friendship
I do not want to be smothered
I do not want to be your mother
perhaps I have to find another
searching

At first the wide eye newness of a stranger is exciting,
common attraction, flattering
the first kiss-  a moment that should not be missed
Intimacy filled with emotion
catch 22
Sometimes it's a let down a bad kiss a wrong move
the uncomfortable feeling a dread fills your head
Did I make a mistake? Even  with the best chemistry
there is nothing that can help that awkward moment

Now ***
It just happens in the heat of passion two bodies
intertwining after it is done leaving wet between the legs  a disillusioned one

Separated two
what then? lay quietly, how long do you hold him?
or move away, let go, who's to say ,who's to know
head screaming a million questions, what do you say?
fumbling for clothes, dress quickly, find the bathroom
ready to leave, wondering all the while , But never asking

Did I do it right? what just happened? is it worse if
you faked it ? then he thinks you loved it,great! now,
he wants to do it again.  please what did I miss all these years?
it's scary, I have some fears
Not like the 80s the ****** freedom, I am older now

I have  standards, a man asks me out on a date ,I settle for coffee and a walk in the park after 20 minutes no spark but hey it's a start. I will need one heck of a man to get me hot ready for action again and again and again until then I have ******

Nana wants very slow
perfect for little legs
to keep up
wherever they go

The whole world rushs by  
yet stops for them
in the wink of her eye
there is nothing more important
then the tears of her grandson's cries

Play time a must at Nana's house
building a castle out of Play dough
for Mickey Mouse
playing games, reading books
watching them grow
time is priceless she knows

Nana can see no wrong
in the innocence of childhood
Her unconditional love is a lullaby
a sleepy night song
morning, noon, and night
a smile graces her face
there's no place
like home
except
In Nana's Grace

A godmother has much to do
Isaac nearly two
It was a bright sunny day  
he wanted to run and play

Isaac didnt understand
what the priest had to say
Wiggling in his mother's arms
to her dismay

loudly asking for Nana
Full of sweetness and charms
in the warmth of my arms
I held him tight
quieting him with patience and foresight

Whispering sweet nothings in his ear
for only him to laugh and here
Isaac looked up at the ceiling
we were praying while nelling

His young life bright without a flaw
Pointing determined intently  
to show me what he saw

PRIT-TEE (pretty) he flashes a smiles
"Nana see" he points
Above the fourth isle

I didn't know what he was trying to show me
he continued to do this you for a while  
Whispering I asked" tell me what you see"
Until I understood his plea
his face lit up instantly

He smiled with a joy that would last
"Angels " he whispered
Skipping a beat my heart gasp
in the heart of a child
so willful and wild  
yet he could still see
the glory of where he used to be

I am new to this site
I have to ask why
so many people here
Use a lower-case i
Is there a trend
The reason why
Grammatically correct
To verify
No longer apply
Free verse poetry define
Free of limitations of
regular meter or rhythm
Artistic expression
Yet if your purpose
Is to publish
The capital i(I) shows
You Matter

Brothers and Sisters are we
standing proud of our heritage tree
Deep rooted values are held so dear
Our family bond that kept us near

One by one we married or moved away
Yet still remain close to this very day
we have all grown in our love
Our Parents and Peter keep watch from up above

As we start to reach old age
will look back on life and love as our gauge
Smile knowing for better or worse
A Bowen giving up, now that would be a first

Sitting back in our rocking chair
Jessie and I will both be there
Life passes by in the blink od an eye
Proud to be a Bowen until the day we die

The faces you see
Are not who
I want to be

My smile is as big
For all to see

Looking Closely
the eyes
Never tells lies

Yet I have scars
You can not know

I have pain
Which would
drive most insane

Is it you
Is it me
Push Away

Promises to keep; yet
Death is beating at my door
Rock myself to sleep
What Am I living for
when all I do is
Weep, weep, weep
Longing for life once more
   Promises to keep
The grim Reeper is keeping score
From my destiny chance; leap
Family, friends; ignored
All I want to do is
Sleep, sleep, sleep
   Promises to keep
No pain I implore
Please end it ever more; worrying
   Promises to keep
Upon the cold bare floor
Walking with Jesus once more
   No more promises to keep
In peace, I shall sleep

Will you... walk a while with me
Along my painful way
A love whose heart has eyes to see
When stars shine over the darken sea
The quiet rest at the end of the day
While all else sleep I cry and prey
Will you... walk a while with me
A friend who knows and cares to say
"Stay strong my dear I am always near"
Sweet words that cheer my questioning heart
No matter how distant we are never apart
Will you... walk a while with me
In spirit you take my hand
With tearful eyes I search for answers
In the kindness of your soul
Until the pain will let me go
Will you... walk a while with me