54

If I should die,
And you should live—
And time should gurgle on—
And morn should beam—
And noon should burn—
As it has usual done—
If Birds should build as early
And Bees as bustling go—
One might depart at option
From enterprise below!
’Tis sweet to know that stocks will stand
When we with Daisies lie—
That Commerce will continue—
And Trades as briskly fly—
It makes the parting tranquil
And keeps the soul serene—
That gentlemen so sprightly
Conduct the pleasing scene!

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

712

Because I could not stop for Death—
He kindly stopped for me—
The Carriage held but just Ourselves—
And Immortality.

We slowly drove—He knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For His Civility—

We passed the School, where Children strove
At Recess—in the Ring—
We passed the Fields of Gazing Grain—
We passed the Setting Sun—

Or rather—He passed Us—
The Dews drew quivering and chill—
For only Gossamer, my Gown—
My Tippet—only Tulle—

We paused before a House that seemed
A Swelling of the Ground—
The Roof was scarcely visible—
The Cornice—in the Ground—

Since then—’tis Centuries—and yet
Feels shorter than the Day
I first surmised the Horses’ Heads
Were toward Eternity—

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight,—
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,—
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

My heart is confused  
my thoughts of wanting
cloud my head
My thoughts of needing
To jump into bed
My thoughts of hurting
the heart is dead
my thoughts of wondering
was it something I said
I need more
I do not want just companionship
I do not want the warmth of a body  
I do not want just friendship
I do not want to be smothered
I do not want to be your mother
perhaps I have to find another
searching

At first the wide eye newness of a stranger is exciting,
common attraction, flattering
the first kiss-  a moment that should not be missed
Intimacy filled with emotion
catch 22
Sometimes it's a let down a bad kiss a wrong move
the uncomfortable feeling a dread fills your head
Did I make a mistake? Even  with the best chemistry
there is nothing that can help that awkward moment

Now ***
It just happens in the heat of passion two bodies
intertwining after it is done leaving wet between the legs  a disillusioned one

Separated two
what then? lay quietly, how long do you hold him?
or move away, let go, who's to say ,who's to know
head screaming a million questions, what do you say?
fumbling for clothes, dress quickly, find the bathroom
ready to leave, wondering all the while , But never asking

Did I do it right? what just happened? is it worse if
you faked it ? then he thinks you loved it,great! now,
he wants to do it again.  please what did I miss all these years?
it's scary, I have some fears
Not like the 80s the ****** freedom, I am older now

I have  standards, a man asks me out on a date ,I settle for coffee and a walk in the park after 20 minutes no spark but hey it's a start. I will need one heck of a man to get me hot ready for action again and again and again until then I have ******