Being a kid is truly a curse... I feel like I'm treated like garbage or worse,
when I move out I will finally get the respect that I crave... never again will I be a slave,
yes! definitely... when I turn eighteen... then my life will truly begin.

Living alone is so problematic... altho once I thought it would make me ecstatic,
my wage is so low that its funny... the taxes alone take up all of my money,
the exhaustion eats me from the inside... and the old 9 to 5 is no easy ride,
surely when I get a real profession... that will reignite my long lost passion.

My life feels so stale, even with a profession... money ain't enough to fight back depression,
and at nights I feel oh so alone... sadly you can't get love for a loan,
when I find someone I so adore... than I will be happy, of that I can be sure.

My job is taking up all my free time... but surely when I retire it will all be fine,
I will take trips and explore the wide world, I just need to wait a little longer... surely that I can afford.

I should have realized it long back then... if you wait your life ends before it even began.

let’s pretend, just for a second, let’s pretend…

let’s pretend none of it is temporary, as eternal as the heaven’s gate…
let’s pretend we have nowhere to hurry, unmoved by the foresight of fate.

let’s pretend the sun flows around us, never fading from our sky…
let’s pretend we are at the center of the stage, so high and mighty we can touch god and fly.

let’s pretend there won’t be problems, or if there will it’s to teach us a lesson…
let’s pretend the world’s our teacher and with its teachings, we shell bloom and blessen.

let’s pretend if the journey’s hard its a sign of a worthwhile destination…
let’s pretend that to those who are good hearted life gives its admiration.

let’s pretend that words can move hills, while sticks and stones can never hurt us…
let’s pretend god’s first concern is our prayers, and the world is our fortress.

let’s pretend God is alive and so is the hope he gave us, let’s pretend we never killed him, just for a second, please, let’s pretend.

at the Coliseum of broken souls, in a battle to the bitter end...
when all that's left are plastic roles, is there a difference between enemy and friend?

the foolish and the righteous, both walk the same path...
only the undaunted, can escape the arena's wrath.

like a slaughterhouse maintained by foolish cows, in a truly ironic masochistic order...
so the ship to the arena bow's, at heart growing ever so much colder.

I count to 10, I count to 20, waiting for something to change…
but reality is certain, the script of destiny is far out of my range…

What an overoptimistic egotistic stupid fool, dares to take hope for a ride…
success is the exception, failure is the rule, im getting emptier, emptier, emptier, inside…

I count to 30, I count to 40, looking for a reason to stay…
sadly I cant jump to the other side, too many obstacles in my way…

I can see the sunlight clear as day, on the other side of the glass wall…
freedom so close, yet so far away, no one can hear my desperate call...

should I keep counting? Why would I do that anymore? To see the same outcome arise?
but maybe, something will change if I do what ive never done before, close my ears and shut my eyes…


the wall is gone.

its the same **** again, waking up at 3pm, and a case of mayhem, mayhem, mayhem of the mind... oh, and how can it be, how can i feel so blind, and unblindfolded, all at the same time.

beauty and terror colliding, so provoking, so dividing... creating a perfect grey, a depressing disarray.

and i'm walking on the edge of black and white, of the darkness and the light, and how can i fight, when there is no wrong or right?! if i shine bright, all that would be left is to burn, burn, burn in fright.

its the same **** again, going down at 5am... at the finish line of another loop, another fail, another bail, another floop, to break out of this depressing unprogressing, possessing, and regressing stupid loop.

and than, at 4pm, its the same **** again, a little different but the same, because no i dont have any flame... no, i'm not gonna shine bright... how could i fight?!

I walk the path of ruse, in my idiot shoes… If I try to rule the world, I end up being seen by all… under this mask of control, there lays a faceless brat… and I just play my role, in the battle that he brought… and I will take the fall, for the battle that he fought… lock the windows, close them all, make sure that door is shut!
I look deep within myself, and all I see is someone else… I am not in health, I do not know where lead this rails… and please just tell me what can I do, to be just a little tiny bit more like you… and please just tell me… how can I not be sad… because I think you are so good that I must be bad… and please just tell me, can it be, that you are just a little tiny bit like me?!
I walk the path of fools, upon this mountain of dirt… I am one of countless ghouls, with agony I flirt, and please tell me… why do I want to… be everything that I cannot… and please tell me… why am I itching… to tighten this rope around my throat.

I saw the world today, all the little people in a perfect array... focused, collected, interconnected and yet all so alone... so full of hatred, fully immersed in the journey they made for each other, why do they bother?! is it just a distraction? there reaction to a world empty of true satisfaction, a world not made for them neither for me, this world belongs to nobody.
Some lift themselves up to be god, some seek his heaven, some lay in his mud... all blind... all covered in blood, blood from there own goal, there own game... some seek money, some heaven, some fame... they would go far to get to there goal... as if throwing the coal... in there own train, as it keeps going and they keep throwing they all go insane... with grief, power, hate, pain!
All the little people... so immersed in there own game's thrill... non of them can see past the hill.