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I am a cougar and I'm 65
     With a high *** drive
*** is sooo... exciting
   And I think it's here to stay...
I have to have my fix....
  There is no other way!
From 30 something males
Is the age that seems to fit...
  Young/ handsome/virile...
With bodies to match...
Hand me my fishing rod..
I think I've got a catch!!....
The fascination, of the younger male...
          Strong fit bodies
         Hearty and hale!
          Finely tuned physiques
         With engines that rev...
      And a whole lotta fun...
    When their sharing you're bed!..
Pam
Eye candy for every man??
        I think not!!
     You're house is ***** and span
Do you have any room for a man?
         Poor Pam..
  You're carpets are spotless..
     You're cooker pristine...
But asking someone
To cover their shoes?
   With plastic slip ons...
    Is the funniest thing I've ever seen!
      I'm not being mean
      But seriously? get reall!!
And Pam....
   Get yourself a man...!
I'm a cheap hotel room
                   With a story to tell
                    I look pretty shabby
                   And I'm not very well
                    I'm used and abused
                    My paintwork is old
                   The owner keeps the heating low
                        And I'm constantly cold!...

                        My tap in my ensuite
                      Monotonously drips
                     I'm fed up with the couples
                   Who use me for naughty day trips!
                     They scuff up my skirting boards
                          And trample on my bed
                        They lounge in my armchair
                         But it's the children I dread!


                     I'd love to be modern
                  All streamlined shiny- new
                  Please tell my owners
                    As they haven't got a clue?



           My windows are grimy
            And my carpet too
         Oh!.. don't go into my toilet
          As there's a crack in my loo!
            

           I want to be boutique
          Urban and cool
         With french windows, verandah
          Leading down to a pool



        But , alas, l am a sad little room
        Like a rose that has blossomed
         But now.. lost its bloom....
It was an ordinary day .. in every way
   I cooked you're breakfast for you
But you chucked it away?
Putting you're coat on in silence
You closed the front door
I didn't think then
I wouldn't see you anymore...
You went to the park
Instead of work..
   At the end of this day .. a mother would hurt..
  For you would ****** a child..
    You'd studied for weeks..
     Chatting away to her
     Feeding her sweets
Until one day.....
You could stand it no more
And you grabbed her hand
And started to walk..
You're car was parked at the end of the road..
    The child was content..
    In fact quite composed..
But she would be.... of course
As she knew you well..
  Knew the line of you're face
And how you smelt
She put her little hand in youres
Totally trusting.. and totally in awe...
  The police car drew up at the house by the park..
   Where a little girl was snatched
     But it was dark..
    How many people were in the park today
      When a child was abducted and taken away..
The policeman stood at my door
       As he showed me his badge
         And looking back now...
      Thought he looked rather sad..
   " have you seen you're husband"?
   " do you know where he is"?
" we need to question him"?
   " urgently" you said..
   " he's at work"?
    " why wouldn't he be"?
" and later he'll be home
And spend the evening with me"
    " what's this about?"
    What's he done?
  " a child was abducted from the park today
7yrs old and tiny for her age"
" we just want to question him at this stage"
" do you mind if we wait until he gets back"?
   But by then you would have strangled her...
    Disposed of her body...
And driven away..
  At the end of what started....
      As an ordinary day......
Love is a four letter word...
     I'm glad I'm free as a bird
     Whether it be lover, partner or wife...
      It simply brings nothing
        But trouble and strife..!
       Love is a four letter word
             What's that expression?
                      No pain,no gain!
              I'm glad I'm a sane person again
                     Love is a four letter word
               Love is commitment intrusion and hurt..
                       It also takes two to make it work!
                       Damaging emotions and draining reserves....
                        Yes.....love is a four letter word!..
" age is all in the mind darling!"
              " and you're as young as you feel"
                 Ok... joke over...
                   Now get real!!
                 You've got you're health and vanity
            Nice hair , eyes and mouth..
             Which is probably just as well..
             Cos the body's going south!
            Sadly.. the force of gravity
             And the ravages of time..
           Makes joe bloggs.. more appealing
           After that third glass of wine..
            If I ever win the lottery...
           I'll have a nip and tuck...
        But if a young guy pulled me...
          I'd settle for a ****...
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