i had a thought
or memory
to be more exact
a wild pact

i thought that
is crap
but it persist
a mad hat

stood to the
devil´s laugh
win or loose
to late

i said what
don´t forget
for the very
planet..!

tommy is
bad
the red
****** up

he rubs
ahind
a hot fish
even spell

pup
cup
in
wicked
wick

well
hell
fell
love

out upon
the spike
like
gone

she go
she went
another
town

another
cosmos
friday
o grog..

i


a strange time
but the same
all the same
i still miss
red wine
how i loved
that abandoned
safe spacing
lifting of pain
a button
in my brain
clicking off
or on
here am i
again..!

ii

i would read
the russians
their suffering
brought solace
so understanding
drink and lie in bed
clair de la lune
thank you


iii

a)

auntie mabel
said
they
would
hang me..

being
from
wales
poetically

a lilting
prophesy
(a prediction
common
among family)

b)

i was bemused at
the time
we sat in the bar
red wine

dribbled off her
chin
hang me..
why..

she said she knew
not why-
why is a sin
i was eleven
or ten..

breathing is difficult
wanting not to
is hard..

but i am built
to last
word..

i have good ****
for my hip
and dickey heart..

and music
and eat
chips

and salt
and vinegar
soul food..!

ii

remember
time fodder
as i get older

i recall more
a closed door
pretty fur

lily lou lover
given more
love store

but not
some hot
some colder..

love is war
the art of war
machines..

circles ..

i

machines giving order
getting in
closer

twirling over
mother nature
my mind

gets further
from here
o dear..

(marijuana
whispers
centre)

i


a walk about towns
lily be crowned
great godess
to bed airwares on..parenthesis
perchance to dream in
splendour and innocence..
shared the family of man
when more is less..
when we live free of fear
and intimidation
when violence against
women
be uncommon..
we safe in our home
where human rights
exist..
for everyone
where we own
ourselves
body and soul..

ii

a little bird sings
outside her window
through the pale
dawn´ s light..

she says in oblivion
where she does not
know
where there´ s a
way..

iii

where we on a wing
where love the day
where night bring
hope so..

where the moment
the pauses
truth our meditations
and free lost cause

where equalities
where dreams
like sheep count
she smiles..

iv

where concord is
obvious and profound
like the blue bus
lily laughs..exclamation

like a little bird..
tucks her head
turns and goes
on in search

of the right word
the juste mot
where we like ourselves
o she says
the music stopped..

the space cake
are various planet
doom

a beach *** make
a bon vive..exclamation
lily looms

bang lassie milk shake
long
sun down..pankakes..

kerela grass
in her eyes
brine..

lick the salt
from her skin
her succulent

sun kissed
covering
big nosed

french woman
i  smell her skin
and the cops arrive

we managed to
get dressed
hide our hash

they were good
averted their eyes
she was so composed

i was in a disgusting
state
needless to say

a combination of
fenni
and great nepalese..

and white sand
and palm
and sweet moon

when i was young
i said my father
is with the embassy


they went away
we fell down
and ******

it was better
that time
don´t know why..

iii

five minutes to go
do you wonder
what to do

do you ******
your neighbour
or find a better

view
or put your affairs
in order

tilt your hat
go what..
five minute

warning..?
kiss your cat
apologies

i did that..
and that
and that..

jeez
that was
fast..

tie your
lace
admire

your
face
say

your
prayers
mind

your
own
busi­ness

pass
the
bones

check
for worms
change

underpants
some days
five minutes

kiss the
way
back and
forth

i shall
return
burn


ask what is
the time
go blip..

i


perhaps you can write a song
about me
all is vanity
!?

i donate the proceeds
to charity
lol

pride comes
before
a fall

you have to know
how to
fall

drunks and babes
know how to
fall

i never knew far to
fall
some

did not pay
my guitar
was stolen..

a woman ran away
a hole in my shoe
..a nut loosen

ii


lily is humpy
it´ s how you
get up
love

conquerors
all
still i rise..(maya angelou)
was it why

the blue sky
lily´ s sigh
is as humble
as a button..

in the 60´s
(and for most
of the seventies)
there was
free school
dinners
free school
milk
free education
(including
university)
there was free
dentistry
there was free
health care
(free prescriptions)
free eye tests and
spectacles..

there was cheap housing
(homes not investment)
council houses!
where the rent was less..
(only so called tramps
were homeless..)

and there was hope
even we had hope
hope is a thing with
feathers*
(emily dickinson)

is the mirror a
soul?
look over my
shoulder
my beauty
all is known..

i see your face
on christmas morn
paul..
your first guitar!
joy to man!
the bell´s ring-
ding-****..!

i


(relax,i am 59
and i am still
searching..)

ii

just of late
i fancy myself
a teller of tales!

i should look
on the net but
if anything

i have learned
is one learns
through

one´s mistakes..
not much changes
go..


iii

when man sat
by the fire side
long ago..

relating his day
of near scrapes
with sundry

beast to the
****** sun
and ****

there were the
song and
howling rhythm

the quietly crackle
bones were cast
the tale told

the stars bled
man found his
continues

gesticulate
and mighty
pause the

heaven
a sleight
gesture

fear
a known
and unknown

reason or
beyond
a wry

sign
suspense
and the

disbelief
cut
death

the skies
and falling
pause..

the fire
the eye
the nights..

i

lily, last night i dreamt
of a thin chord
emerging from
from the roof of my

mouth and the more
i tugged
the more came
more and more..

i stopped and shook
my head to see if
anything had come
loose..

what do you think it means..question..
i had to look for scissors
on a desk that was not
between two girls

comparing lists..
i cut the chord
trailing a few inches
on my tongue..

it was awful..

ii

dreams mean ****
says lily belligerent
i was thinking
rebirth and unbilical

cut..into twin universe
of good and bad
awaking to a planet
with small fuse

remaining..
or just thirst
means ****..
i did drink a lot

for breakfast..
do you think
we should
clean the carpet..

iii

i see it more an
experiment
a question in
perspective
how we live..

what we dream
general themes
white in the fire
ancient desires..

but still in music
stars and ***
in colours
and what else..

some fundamental conclusion
that is what we are searching
something beyond doubt
and beyond reason..something

beyond love and loving..
some little thing beyond
music and the stars..
a thing above chocolate..!

something that will bring peace
and more
forever
(something not tried before..)

something less then everything
faith in a can..?
more then a walk in the december
air..

something that says and the point
is..
something like bowie´ s eyes..
some thing like can´ t
something like can..

i survived myself because of myself
a mix of the diabolically clever
and ridiculously slow
perched on some far away shelf
happy as a ******
with little to do..

the sky perfectly reflected me
and in my turn i adorned it
with various unspoken woe
i was four for three
the devil´s wit
nothing did know..

i said i know i
with instinct
through
age old way
look into this
sad heart
genius or idiot
o wise mirror
are we not lost
as urchin..

if i could
cast some
cold light
which would
burn a hole
deep in your
heart from
afar off star
leaden a glide..
then i
look out my
eye grin out
and what did
everything there
is here doubt
fear and blight
weasel dome
all known-
that red lid
peeled off
until less
scars and more
the hollow
cries mercy less
in your down
tender and like
a cheese grater
i stare out as
no more endures
and shiver jelly
grey and dead
surround..
(yes..i have a
raison d´etre..)

he was kind
**** saw eh
aws nkdi..!

but messed up
pu
tub

they met
heyt tem

but didn´t
bother
reh tob..

she did nt
care
care..

they went
their separate
ways..way..

a fine week was had
the day a married
black candle mass
time dawdle
our loved stalked
angel and demon
the devil called
heel warm-
a fly born
and in squash
and in *****
moaning no..
fiery ****** tongue
take the bride upon
the stair
the groom served by
sundry elf
while maiden scent
his self-
spit of toad for
potent
death watch for
content
goblet of newly
born blood
and saw the
dead born
watney´ s pale in
an eight pint
can
red and gold
before the god
the revellers
kowtow
and the girls
vie for a smile
so ennuyer
etched
across his face
evil always
some distraction
a turbid dracula
bored
vice a hold
the betrothed cam
sweet innocent
like starsky
and hutch
naked and bloodied
to the dark one first
rites
right is right..!
crazy horses kicks
off
donny makes a
come back
o scream the tree
crack
through
the clamor
witchs hover
ashine with mire
o higher the crying
the exultation..!
evil the mad one
ah..!
evil made persona
the couple sworn
at each end
scant hors d'oeurvre
to the masters
seed served
cold the
young old
and old..
wine flows
strange going on
in the coat room..
be loved *****
shared..reverence
and shy glance..
our old ice cream
man
strikes up the band..!
thus man and wife  declared
tied and together darkness
with out end..
all cracked raise to health..!
something by sinatra
in the sky yon moon turns
to aversion
the forest weeps
there then the fire
in the eye of
the songbird
there then the
cleansing sweep
of the blackbird
to flight..

i


so lily what do
you think
the end of life
in an instant
like a staple
in a gross
micro oven
exploding
and all we
say is
what
was
that..?

ii

maybe they
will take pity
though i don´ t
see why
see how we
treat chickens..

like a chick pea
burst in the micro
will terminate
our civilization so

a glance to skyward
that is all we´ ll know
a bit of buzzing
a bell will go

a giant portal open
we will do
the state of
that too but

the end..
great no
deny
cubed through

now later
tomorrow
just a little
lingers..

******* hot
slammed shut
darkness
some growth..

i see and saw little
point in hate
genius is the middle
the fulcrum saint

truth and the devil
extremely faint
somewhere peripheral
a negative taint-

the centre a crazy cat..!?
i found my inspiration
in my heart
that is where the fun

is at..!
(kept
apart
a secret

light..)

the lotus eaters forgot
the suns´  slow descent
aglow this paradise set
down down and up

a gloryfying present
but certainly no past
and to future debt
a moment of love

attained the perfect
which will last
youth and beauty
for ever and on..

(the more knowledge
gleaned
the less instinct
weaned)

once witches
small perhaps
eccentric somewhat
and followed
by thrush
sang
spied by curious
mice
sat on by old
ticks
munched the
fly agaric
and roamed
the nightly forest..

or flew into
great red skies
howling through
storming cries
screaming to fell
or styled vertical
with  two
black tusks
glinting
to caste hex
upon foe
and scatter the dead
to  perform abomination
with here little cat
perched behind
skull and moon
bat and croon
o the wind wild
o ancient chile
evil prays so
the great eye
the **** crow
the spite
and soon
o baal
sired the morn..

i


upset an oxymoron
of little interest
(not strictly oxymoron
either)

but we do our best..
the sky is falling
like the old nest
pick it up

look through the holes
and wonder of
our lonely existence
in stone..

ii

consider the moss
and the random
beauty of it´s
elegance..

question it´s
practise
and comfort
which is set

in your hand
now
like any
lost crown..

iii

no oxymoron
no doubting
here is love
and here is thin

reason
make up
our minds
in a few sands
here is faith..

i


the neighbours like to shout
while the sun  come´ s out
lily is off her pretty head
to the sky dangles thread

soft she spake no doubt
how did this come about
lifted shyly off her bed
and to an alien wed

(they resembled trout
that fetching pout..)
so i was duly bled
and impregnated

soon a mewling brat
star blown and stout
multi eye and headed
plasma fed..

saviour of the planet..!
born to poet..
born to lead
man is saved..!

ii

well the world is in a pretty
pickle
if waiting  for her alien love
chile
the sun has gone in
awhile
the sunday sea continues
a smile
hovers upon her red
lip..

iii


lily a dream
cast her leaden
glance sky
wards..

lily takes from
her sleeve
her treasured
cards..

a **** on her
******
and she´ s set
on ward..!

the future
laid bare
a seer
a bird

a bard
her face
drops
bad..?
bad..

these strange
recollections
inducing
sad

reflections
caste one forth
to endless
circle-
mad..

nothing about
strange
that
but this
my god
free heart..

and the majestic
lady..
buttercups
to
her eyes
what is it..

nothing good
a wild wood
any black
blood
now this card
is usually benign

the goblets of
wine not poison
but swamp
and sunk
and choked

seems clear
not here
a hovel
and a grey
evoked

still trees and
stiller eye
there is dark
that walk
abroad

behind and
away soon
cries like
a unique
word

and yes
black coagulation
while meek
and there
struggle losing
purr

if we knew
the end
or even
this card
and this one
so little
cur
normally
a staunch
friend

souls want..!
you will get
what you deserve
this skull says
crafty devilry..!

another cooling goblet..
lily..a strong pull..
upon
the
pipe
of
love..

i never dished it out and i refuse
to take it in
i held myself in a kind of cosmic
equilibrium

accepting the vague random love
as surely
as my glass of milk
and twix at four

fate being the difference
between
the sky blood and free
a lone apple core

wandered with some
habit
nothing noting
not no

being all in
complete
and yet
so

giving and taking
apart
pivoting
and started

like some barn
station to
flexible
or rigid so

thus receiving
and giving
but at a safe
distance..

we have scorpions
my wield has two eyes
i saw no bee
running my right hand

up the railing and
continues hurting..
the cunning man i am
i urinated on it

and that has stopped
there is some wisdom
in the old ways
***** is a natural

healing..

vi

rainy day scribe
would like to imbibe
sweet long ago youth
to kiss your red mouth
that soured wine
and screamed our
insane face..

i would look into your eyes
and tried not to
think of them
so much for
that no..
but i´ d be gone
it was the ****
and all that colors
when we got effed up
you saved your best insights
for our arguements
you brought me two black
kittens
i put you in bed and fed you
porrige
everyone complained
i went to the occasional party
but prefered the country
we see the cure..

i lived the country
we went to cinema
we saw the piano
you on the bus

me on my bike..
i enjoyed that forrest ride
cool in the morning
and out of the breeze
you with the haarlam gazette..

o twas a cold of a winter so
i might visit my friend fiet
who lived on a house boat
with so many cats and dog
and a chicken and geese..
we would have a cup of t
and looked at her photos..

when the canals froze
when at the sea side
or with a sweet cognac
and a pint of mild
heck my hand throb
and my heart too..

i

let´ s be birds
repulsive creatures
though they saved
my bacon i
on a few
occasions

when in the jungle
when there is silence
lily is jane
i liked hairy women..parenthesis..
i found their gossamed armpits
a delight
fine as a bird´ s underbelly
ah yes birds
prophosize the future
so when you hear their
happy little voices in the
morning

ii

excuse me i am trying
not to go into shock
i was bitten by something
my hand is bright red
and pained tingling
runs amok..
in the jungle
there are so many death..parenthesis

iii

a few years i was bitten
by a snake
i was trying to help
and grabbed it´ s pretty tail
you will be happier over there
yonder green..
but the ungrateful little *******
sunk his fangs into my hand..
and i eased the back of his delicate
skull like a miracle from god..
and prised his delicate jaw asunder
i thought that will teach me to interfere
put him in the grass..


iv

birds..
let us be..we have a lot of blackcaps..
quite a lot of jays
though it has been years
since i have seen
then hoopoe
i like them
man bird
who does not
love and fear the
waxen wing..
the sparrows laugh
the blackbird like
some gibbet´ s shadow
outside my window
the pyramid
and golden eye
the seagulls don´ t care..
sometimes what sit of
goldfinches arrive like
gatecrashers and it is
a thunderbird..lol
****..we all panic like
detroit..
i watch the crane
like dinosaur
slide across the sky..
there is a stray parrot
abroad
our ducks were murdered
one windy night..
but the parrot silent
once i thought about a robin
and it appeared
i thought that weird
and it said well
we have some vulture
lily stop that
no
we
don´ t
....

v

iii

then with a bit of old
rope i tied the afore
mentioned in the middle
and made a divide
between the cab
and the back..

fastening it to the
crescent with some tacks..
it smelled of paint for years..
especially in the cold..
a supply of chopped wood
sat on the passenger seat..

i released the knot and it
fanned like a dream of new orleans..
i read and resisted madness
in the spring the tulips won..

in the evening i got ******
with the paper girl..
listened to radio four..
and sat by the canal
hey claudia..!
she told her parents  over
dinner..

ii


but then i flicked it
off a nearby stick
and danced to some
music
on some skanky
blanket
of grey
and love
thus relieving
the boredom
and stress
fear
etc..
paint and not
there oh therre
so i enjoyed
there and gods
smiled down..

i


who would have imagined i´ d
have my very own computer
we had wooden pens in a class
of sixty..
two a third of a pint of milk every
day
(though i never made monitor..)

in the summer the milk could become
disappointingly tepid
and in the winter
the blue **** fed on the icing cream
thus rendering it unfit..

(though we drank it any hows..)
we all found that very charming
and did not begrudge their ingenious
ness..
(they who had no breakfast drank

sometimes three bottles..)
we had abacus or what ever the plural
is..
(i don´ t care..)
which if i am correct
was a system of mathematic
invented by the persians
or so..

but my favourite lesson
was propelling paint by
a straw..
(i was a budding pollack..)
the random and sub conscience..
and some old newspaper..oh yeah..


i used the same method years later
to wean myself off *****..
opening up pleasure
that had been sleeping..
stimulating and fused..
now,i have a computer..!

i

Melancholy
Is
Come..
Hell
As
Effort
Lies-

Just
Out!
Hues
None­..

ii

melancholia
reverse square
of humour..

melancholic
lightly dark
near yet far..

melancholy
stone wall
can not see..

i

i am time surfer
i crawl through space
i am in your brain
in..

lily you are high
again..
witches ate that
pretty one..

i am inside
do not hide
i can read
your mind
they were burned

ii

lewd creature..
it is mushroom season
how ever
don´ t eat them
as you go along..

lol..i could nt wait
i met everyone
it was free and it
was fun..

as all the colours played
and my perception grew
or i thought it did..
from a far..

i spied the groundsman
strolling over
and dogs like magic
a lovely clear morning..

it is a short grass and
no frost
you lose something
no..

i put them in cider
i made spagetti
now you can get a kit
let my self not get
the better of me..


iii

lily pipes up
they are natural
god meant us to get
high..
that is so..

but not to ****
each other with
guns or sabre
or rock..

we hid and were
just prey
while searching
for magic
i found
friendly
interest..

guns as romantic
hand fill
if every time
before sabre..

then a rock
before we hid
today lily
pontificate not..

take us back to
the virginal earth
cooling..
brings back with a bump

too many guns..tooo many
if i had a purple cherry
for every gun shot on
television..

what a pathetic metaphor
still,to be fair
i killed a blackbird once
with an air gun..

and i have been plagued by
them ever since
so what happens if you ****
a man..

some are quiet ok
and others not
brilliant
and that illustrates

how different are we
lily..
i shot a song bird
this has scarred me

is it time for the caves
i would not
if on a saturday night
or  in the dark

open country
surely
well all be sorry
by first light..

i must practise my
flipping guitar
i must *******
to something original..

i must smoke marijuana
cause i have a gammy leg
and asthma..
music and grass

and a hot mug of tea
is there better
in this disorder..
this lost universe..

i went to model myself
not an easy job
today´ s elf
a sweet old cob

not interested
in what..
lily woke
dream gazed

in the act of recalled
do you want to know
a dream
(a raisin in the sun..)

i was in the shopping
mal and yet all the shops
empty and escalators
named heaven..

all the mirrors and
cameras
played catch
the end said

why what did
you then find
but i could not
stop laughing..

madame,it said
you are a shine
and i began
to be..

i understood
the purest
futility
and was good..

i believed in
love
it was me and
you

nothing was on
sale
knock out
a bargain

only your
only mine
on the air
all about

and when i
reached
and could
get no

there was
around
white forest
the sky blue

i looked into
my hand and
there was yours
too..

i said here is
gold and sand
here is promise
here riches..

i looked into your
great wise eye
and a tear fell
like avalanche..

you went down
and i went up
and then gone..
shopping..

from a dream deferred
by langston hughes

ii

at the local tech
with any ****
looking through
the window..

the moulin like some
happy
space ship..
the night soft

and the river fine
i took my forms
went to the pub
for a jar..

i always envisaged me
as a man met everyday
but who was never met..
stepped to a non exist

from some far imagined
some distant punch line
a question marked
a low mirror signed

waiting for my wine
but a glass of neither
half
arrived..

and yet immersed in
to white trees
to a magnificent
blue..

i began to feel
where else
underneath
the stars
(and you.)

now my memory fails
we share each ones piece
of ice or said
excuse me,
can you read..
no,but i can paint
but first we´  ll
drink and dance like
mad things
in the stench and
darkness
sounds lovely
i will tell mama
there will be fighting
and lewdness
if we getaway
on the deck
and modelling naked
but
the flash backs and
there is kate
glowing like
diane..
love transcends
everything!

now i feel guilty
had he been
from here or there
would say the same..

because the class barrier
transcended everything
except love..
i doubt that she

would take her kit off..
however
that was a brave move
society as a microcosm

in a confined ocean liner..
the poor would be *******
below
and in the upper echelons
no se..

but there would be little
interaction..
still,romance..
there is death..

if the whole thing awful
and small loss
what would be the point..
the muscians played on..

be a poet or not
do or delete
amount
the same
a hill of beans

plus
or subtract
abstract
a drop in

the ocean
to hung
purple
naked

from
a nearby
pole
dark as a coal

by the moon
upside
down
or a nice

cup of tea
not really
much difference
older one is

ii

why sail it into
an iceburg..
leonardo would
never be allowed
into first class
that kind of spoilt
it..
love may transcend
the class barrier
but not a skanky irish
artist..
still,kate was game..

iii

love will transcend
anything
this is patiently
obvious..

excuse me
this rather bland
observation
and a rather

bad..
i am smashed
excuse me
go at the irish..

gosh.
when it comes
to that..
yes
love will transcend..!

i

i can see the join
i was mentally dis jointed
my mind had stopped
(but not a full stop..)

really i found a beginning
when it all began..
i considered my hand
long and long and..

ii

saw the gaps between
or what might be..
(well we all realize parallel
realities-heaven and hell-)

i thought that an odd place
gathered rainbows for tears
seemed like a fair trade
in my crib laid

iii

and a hex was hexed
and what occurred next
(solid lack of any syntax
who would credit that..)

not me..sleep little one
you can always pass on
within a curling digit
that that answers it..

haloween
we never celebrated
haloween
though day today
existing..

haloween
the monsters and
what
in the world..

or from a dark
middle
on the edge
haloween

not defect
show me your
rabbit..
a rat..

a boy in a mask
meets without
skull shining
haloween!

listening
trick a treat
with glowing
knowing
thin..

haloween
where there may
have been
there was none

it is
haloween
no real
feeling..

what given to
that singular
expression
empathy..

more of a crazed
rapture
what a saliva
dribbling

haloween
i do like tapping
he said..
and rabbits..

dracula
fire
marshmellows
no pumpkins

carved into
cackles
the walk
we never cared

for haloween
day off
no
business as

normal..

how many years since we
heard from joe
a curious combo combing
hurt

and happy..
some inspired bass
some real *******
sensitive lyrics..

he was 6 foot 6..
his piano composition
is further inspiration
i felt

jealous and sick..
stepping out
i glowed inside
and howled along..!

into the light
young old
tv gone
fnd..

he made too
a song called cancer..
everything
gives you cancer..

listen now..
never hear live
a lively rumbo
or something..

and don´ t played
that piano..
good on yer
joe..

iv

not unlike
alladin sane
kind of
a bit

bowie
not so
formulaic
less structured..

he rambles
along
like tottering
on a cliff

a bit more
melancholic
there is a
lack of direction

and a child like
frustation
the genius
tired by genius..

the whole thing
lacking any kind
of melody
but quite melodic..

some of the single notes
might have been aliens..
lol..
and the pianist

was his first and only
cut..and saved the day
when we are
to plummet

into insanity..
there comes
the saxaphone
which purrs

and loves us
into breath..
and that first
boing!!!!

astrix joe jackson
a real songwriter..

i

lily in affectionate play
sinks her teeth into me..
she will sit upon my knee
and  a paradiddle

in non conformity
of peaceful means
or general devilry
heralding halloween..

beat a resonant astrix
eternity..
as we celebrate the safe
gathering

of the crops and
consider her
ancient wisdom
knit some socks..

ii

yes,
samhain
is upon us
again..

and marks the
end
of the pagan´ s
sacred

year..where in
the beginning..

we
set an extra
plate for
the dead..

we encouraged
to process
death
and our fear..

we remember our
dead
and the dead
of war..

honor to our
ancesters
a  lament
to summer´ s

end..
the gold of
the gods
shivers..

to the still
of the winter
dream
to be..

iii

a sophisticated double negative
ensues a devastating clarity..
and a few lines on a train
why comely

fine england
touched by an
autumnal wand..
song

to barren sparkle
gold the shiver from
the gods..
(prom
around the bend
come by dream´ s winter..!!!)

astrix..a child´´ s poem..another
good one from twigzy..

lily
let me see
let reality
caste the wily
why
from and
away
the way
out this
blinded
lackness
see your beauty
and blast my
old eye free
of pre
concieve
sly habituality
redeem me
let your lack
still
let nothing
pray
let time
be the first time
let me see you
again
without another
to die
to fall
at that exact
let moment
ended
see you a first
time
when you sweetly
smiled and said hello..

i

nevermind the size
of this planet
have a look in the
garden

or indeed
on our ceiling..
a tiny perfect butterfly
splayed against

the window of
no particular hue..
a wasp type
moved in

head slams me
on occassion
where a light
would be..

lots of happy wet
slugs
purposeful
centipedes..

an armoured soul
not changed
from ever
and days

when altogether
with the flies
and mosquito
and so on..

and now a new
cat
called stewart
no end..

i

i wrote myself a note yesterday
i have never wrote myself a note actually
that is a lie
it said..

it is ok to lie to others
but not to one´s self..
(and watch them for they
are a bunch of no-goods..!)

this proved excellent advise
which i never gave to anyone
(let alone myself)
and put it on the fridge..

one would soon become confused..
two we had no fridge
three one lie leads to two
and so on..

soon enough-
bad things might occur
not known the difference
between fact and fiction..

ii

i have a job telling truths
it is our job
(not bob)
but when they accrue

back to notes and lies
like i love you
do you love me
i do..

i hate you
i hate you too
(one on
the fridge door..)?

iii

i have lived nearly
all my adult life without
a fridge
well that is a lie-

but there were vast swaths
of time spent
fridge-less
as one gets older

it is hard to say what
the truth was
the lies
the notes..