i wish i were antonio o!
winding the hills so
into and out quilted to
the excited children know

the distant three wheel echo
of imagination -blue and yello
pop ups and quietly through
the sun rising finger drew

across a blinding line anew
a love to page them do
and don´t..low!
antonio!

in his biblio!
run promises blow
like a wizard´s brew
come all to know..!

iii

weakness
loch ness
gone west

are there
aliens
in

our midst
we
monkeys

with
typewriters
wish

were
we
fish

strength
h­eight
width

breath
in
out

time
space
birds

words
why
bother

ii


lily the cynical
that explain´s all
nothing explains all..

some brick wall
silence a wail
an ill..

an empty fill
better will
for a while..

a quiet chill
a church aisle
a full sail..

seagulls
tell
wildflowers
bell..

a swallow´s tail
dales
hail

ail..
ai
a

i



did you know lily
it is impossible to think
in english

logically
that is
difficult

but not
impossible-
eg

to be has 21
distinct meanings
and every one

false to fact..
(what ever
that means..)

answers on
a ciber
postcard..

i


lily with nothing
i take her and enfold
she slides down
and nestles so

a purring kitten
shy and bold
space blown
to everything

a nodding
seed sown
from end
to germinate

from floated
distant spoor
to knocking
death´ s door

off distance
to near
wild core
and here..

ii

ii


i have bewitched her..exclamation
but for the better
now a pur
echo´ s there

now relief´ s astir
once lost for
before
here

quiet
too quiet
and quieter
ah..

a great sigh
bare
stretch love
just a last breath

just
an eye
close
..

i

music is space
when that is
then we are
happy stars

like lace
or a kiss
hear soar
inspire

some lithe
gaps
a blithe tap
and fire

in but between
near
and far
pat

pat
pat..

iii


silence
i preferred
above all
else

i thought
words
superflous
a curse

want to be
emotions
best kept
private

better
be silent
and feel
like a wheel

like the
universe
or beautiful
verses

wild flowers
seagulls
bees
a breeze

hindu kush
hushed
smoke bush
peace..

i


(foretell or predict
and issue edict..)
an eagles flight
a witch´s *****

a pigeon´ s eye
circle´ s wise
a lost sigh
by and by

bye and bye
my lovely..

ii

o dark wit
foul it
hate t
i

frogs left
nut
cut
rain blood

stir and high
a swine´ s cry
lord of flies..!
up dark wiles

raise and heft
from cold flame
come forth
grace of evil

thy will
be done
forever
and on..

iii

left and about
tight to reversed
death and birth
to up and earth..

before master
white appear
red here
near and

nearer..
great fire
from sand
to blood..

dust of bat
curse at
fear
hear..!?!

howling and
wild
o bile
comes sister

comes brother
call ruler
of
all..!

once our auntie mable spake unto me
they, unbeknownest, would hang me and then
she so riddled as to the whys and when
as faith, chaff me not,and i will tell thee
child,tis but a sin,to ask,verily..
for i was only a boy.. nine or ten
or so in truth for i have forgotten
but that which remains in my memory
why..and transfixed by ruby drops of wine
that cascaded from off  her lily white chin
as she drank and ****** in lost residues
as the last **** and the barman calls time
as it seems that such loss has turned to win
in vino there is love and veritas..

a


i like to rework old poems
lily
(i am lazy..)

after all
what is reality..?

just a load of moments
this barbed fence

a thorny ball
a burning lens

a *** note
what is it

lily needs her
morning coffee..

b

but work is work
and love is

indefatigable
some seagull

dissecting blue
skies
wild flowers

outside my
windows

all the seasons
change
change

to stay the same
summer rain

living
dying

sparrows
singing

happiness
circling..

a

auntie mable said to me
said they would hang me..

coming from wales
and poetically placed

(her lilting prophesy
common amid family..)

b

i was bemused at the time
we sat in the bar..red wine

dribbled off her chin
she ****** back in

hang me why
she knew not why

why is a sin
why is a sin boy..

i will write
three poems
today
it is my women´s
birthday
she is 59
same as me
we met when forty
she worked in the cafe
we and her eight cats
hit the road in my ambulance
we went up and down the coast
i guess we see many things..

we snuggled the winter into
spring..from little white village
and endless sparkling beach
to the touristy places and this
******* river beds..mad dogs
the dusty cacti and hoopoes..


we see lots
early morning dips
bright stars
bright surf
lots of churches
time enough
lazy days..


(and now 17
years on
we go
where has
the time gone..?)

i could have
done with a
little purpoise..

mostly, i felt
like a dolphin
sniffing mines..

but also not
a whale of a
time
tried not to carp

selfish
shellfish
eel pie
high

be off
cod
leave
love..

i am grown an
extra head
the ten thousandth
grand

says lily but
petite
stay in
caustic

sand
i will knot
some
cotton

sew a
button
knot´s
keep

wicked
on
it´ s
toe..

i had a wish
but better than
nothing..
i had a dream
a long kiss..
cut my heart in

two
too
to
t

me
you
i woke
to everything..

i had a thought
or memory
to be more exact
a wild pact

i thought that
is crap
but it persist
a mad hat

stood to the
devil´s laugh
win or loose
to late

i said what
don´t forget
for the very
planet..!

tommy is
bad
the red
****** up

he rubs
ahind
a hot fish
even spell

pup
cup
in
wicked
wick

well
hell
fell
love

out upon
the spike
like
gone

she go
she went
another
town

another
cosmos
friday
o grog..

i


a strange time
but the same
all the same
i still miss
red wine
how i loved
that abandoned
safe spacing
lifting of pain
a button
in my brain
clicking off
or on
here am i
again..!

ii

i would read
the russians
their suffering
brought solace
so understanding
drink and lie in bed
clair de la lune
thank you


iii

a)

auntie mabel
said
they
would
hang me..

being
from
wales
poetically

a lilting
prophesy
(a prediction
common
among family)

b)

i was bemused at
the time
we sat in the bar
red wine

dribbled off her
chin
hang me..
why..

she said she knew
not why-
why is a sin
i was eleven
or ten..

breathing is difficult
wanting not to
is hard..

but i am built
to last
word..

i have good ****
for my hip
and dickey heart..

and music
and eat
chips

and salt
and vinegar
soul food..!

ii

remember
time fodder
as i get older

i recall more
a closed door
pretty fur

lily lou lover
given more
love store

but not
some hot
some colder..

love is war
the art of war
machines..

circles ..

i

machines giving order
getting in
closer

twirling over
mother nature
my mind

gets further
from here
o dear..

(marijuana
whispers
centre)

i


a walk about towns
lily be crowned
great godess
to bed airwares on..parenthesis
perchance to dream in
splendour and innocence..
shared the family of man
when more is less..
when we live free of fear
and intimidation
when violence against
women
be uncommon..
we safe in our home
where human rights
exist..
for everyone
where we own
ourselves
body and soul..

ii

a little bird sings
outside her window
through the pale
dawn´ s light..

she says in oblivion
where she does not
know
where there´ s a
way..

iii

where we on a wing
where love the day
where night bring
hope so..

where the moment
the pauses
truth our meditations
and free lost cause

where equalities
where dreams
like sheep count
she smiles..

iv

where concord is
obvious and profound
like the blue bus
lily laughs..exclamation

like a little bird..
tucks her head
turns and goes
on in search

of the right word
the juste mot
where we like ourselves
o she says
the music stopped..

the space cake
are various planet
doom

a beach *** make
a bon vive..exclamation
lily looms

bang lassie milk shake
long
sun down..pankakes..

kerela grass
in her eyes
brine..

lick the salt
from her skin
her succulent

sun kissed
covering
big nosed

french woman
i  smell her skin
and the cops arrive

we managed to
get dressed
hide our hash

they were good
averted their eyes
she was so composed

i was in a disgusting
state
needless to say

a combination of
fenni
and great nepalese..

and white sand
and palm
and sweet moon

when i was young
i said my father
is with the embassy


they went away
we fell down
and ******

it was better
that time
don´t know why..

iii

five minutes to go
do you wonder
what to do

do you ******
your neighbour
or find a better

view
or put your affairs
in order

tilt your hat
go what..
five minute

warning..?
kiss your cat
apologies

i did that..
and that
and that..

jeez
that was
fast..

tie your
lace
admire

your
face
say

your
prayers
mind

your
own
busi­ness

pass
the
bones

check
for worms
change

underpants
some days
five minutes

kiss the
way
back and
forth

i shall
return
burn


ask what is
the time
go blip..

i


perhaps you can write a song
about me
all is vanity
!?

i donate the proceeds
to charity
lol

pride comes
before
a fall

you have to know
how to
fall

drunks and babes
know how to
fall

i never knew far to
fall
some

did not pay
my guitar
was stolen..

a woman ran away
a hole in my shoe
..a nut loosen

ii


lily is humpy
it´ s how you
get up
love

conquerors
all
still i rise..(maya angelou)
was it why

the blue sky
lily´ s sigh
is as humble
as a button..

in the 60´s
(and for most
of the seventies)
there was
free school
dinners
free school
milk
free education
(including
university)
there was free
dentistry
there was free
health care
(free prescriptions)
free eye tests and
spectacles..

there was cheap housing
(homes not investment)
council houses!
where the rent was less..
(only so called tramps
were homeless..)

and there was hope
even we had hope
hope is a thing with
feathers*
(emily dickinson)

is the mirror a
soul?
look over my
shoulder
my beauty
all is known..

i see your face
on christmas morn
paul..
your first guitar!
joy to man!
the bell´s ring-
ding-****..!

i


(relax,i am 59
and i am still
searching..)

ii

just of late
i fancy myself
a teller of tales!

i should look
on the net but
if anything

i have learned
is one learns
through

one´s mistakes..
not much changes
go..


iii

when man sat
by the fire side
long ago..

relating his day
of near scrapes
with sundry

beast to the
****** sun
and ****

there were the
song and
howling rhythm

the quietly crackle
bones were cast
the tale told

the stars bled
man found his
continues

gesticulate
and mighty
pause the

heaven
a sleight
gesture

fear
a known
and unknown

reason or
beyond
a wry

sign
suspense
and the

disbelief
cut
death

the skies
and falling
pause..

the fire
the eye
the nights..

i

lily, last night i dreamt
of a thin chord
emerging from
from the roof of my

mouth and the more
i tugged
the more came
more and more..

i stopped and shook
my head to see if
anything had come
loose..

what do you think it means..question..
i had to look for scissors
on a desk that was not
between two girls

comparing lists..
i cut the chord
trailing a few inches
on my tongue..

it was awful..

ii

dreams mean ****
says lily belligerent
i was thinking
rebirth and unbilical

cut..into twin universe
of good and bad
awaking to a planet
with small fuse

remaining..
or just thirst
means ****..
i did drink a lot

for breakfast..
do you think
we should
clean the carpet..

iii

i see it more an
experiment
a question in
perspective
how we live..

what we dream
general themes
white in the fire
ancient desires..

but still in music
stars and ***
in colours
and what else..

some fundamental conclusion
that is what we are searching
something beyond doubt
and beyond reason..something

beyond love and loving..
some little thing beyond
music and the stars..
a thing above chocolate..!

something that will bring peace
and more
forever
(something not tried before..)

something less then everything
faith in a can..?
more then a walk in the december
air..

something that says and the point
is..
something like bowie´ s eyes..
some thing like can´ t
something like can..

i survived myself because of myself
a mix of the diabolically clever
and ridiculously slow
perched on some far away shelf
happy as a ******
with little to do..

the sky perfectly reflected me
and in my turn i adorned it
with various unspoken woe
i was four for three
the devil´s wit
nothing did know..

i said i know i
with instinct
through
age old way
look into this
sad heart
genius or idiot
o wise mirror
are we not lost
as urchin..

if i could
cast some
cold light
which would
burn a hole
deep in your
heart from
afar off star
leaden a glide..
then i
look out my
eye grin out
and what did
everything there
is here doubt
fear and blight
weasel dome
all known-
that red lid
peeled off
until less
scars and more
the hollow
cries mercy less
in your down
tender and like
a cheese grater
i stare out as
no more endures
and shiver jelly
grey and dead
surround..
(yes..i have a
raison d´etre..)

he was kind
**** saw eh
aws nkdi..!

but messed up
pu
tub

they met
heyt tem

but didn´t
bother
reh tob..

she did nt
care
care..

they went
their separate
ways..way..

a fine week was had
the day a married
black candle mass
time dawdle
our loved stalked
angel and demon
the devil called
heel warm-
a fly born
and in squash
and in *****
moaning no..
fiery ****** tongue
take the bride upon
the stair
the groom served by
sundry elf
while maiden scent
his self-
spit of toad for
potent
death watch for
content
goblet of newly
born blood
and saw the
dead born
watney´ s pale in
an eight pint
can
red and gold
before the god
the revellers
kowtow
and the girls
vie for a smile
so ennuyer
etched
across his face
evil always
some distraction
a turbid dracula
bored
vice a hold
the betrothed cam
sweet innocent
like starsky
and hutch
naked and bloodied
to the dark one first
rites
right is right..!
crazy horses kicks
off
donny makes a
come back
o scream the tree
crack
through
the clamor
witchs hover
ashine with mire
o higher the crying
the exultation..!
evil the mad one
ah..!
evil made persona
the couple sworn
at each end
scant hors d'oeurvre
to the masters
seed served
cold the
young old
and old..
wine flows
strange going on
in the coat room..
be loved *****
shared..reverence
and shy glance..
our old ice cream
man
strikes up the band..!
thus man and wife  declared
tied and together darkness
with out end..
all cracked raise to health..!
something by sinatra
in the sky yon moon turns
to aversion
the forest weeps
there then the fire
in the eye of
the songbird
there then the
cleansing sweep
of the blackbird
to flight..

i


so lily what do
you think
the end of life
in an instant
like a staple
in a gross
micro oven
exploding
and all we
say is
what
was
that..?

ii

maybe they
will take pity
though i don´ t
see why
see how we
treat chickens..

like a chick pea
burst in the micro
will terminate
our civilization so

a glance to skyward
that is all we´ ll know
a bit of buzzing
a bell will go

a giant portal open
we will do
the state of
that too but

the end..
great no
deny
cubed through

now later
tomorrow
just a little
lingers..

******* hot
slammed shut
darkness
some growth..

i see and saw little
point in hate
genius is the middle
the fulcrum saint

truth and the devil
extremely faint
somewhere peripheral
a negative taint-

the centre a crazy cat..!?
i found my inspiration
in my heart
that is where the fun

is at..!
(kept
apart
a secret

light..)

the lotus eaters forgot
the suns´  slow descent
aglow this paradise set
down down and up

a gloryfying present
but certainly no past
and to future debt
a moment of love

attained the perfect
which will last
youth and beauty
for ever and on..

(the more knowledge
gleaned
the less instinct
weaned)

once witches
small perhaps
eccentric somewhat
and followed
by thrush
sang
spied by curious
mice
sat on by old
ticks
munched the
fly agaric
and roamed
the nightly forest..

or flew into
great red skies
howling through
storming cries
screaming to fell
or styled vertical
with  two
black tusks
glinting
to caste hex
upon foe
and scatter the dead
to  perform abomination
with here little cat
perched behind
skull and moon
bat and croon
o the wind wild
o ancient chile
evil prays so
the great eye
the **** crow
the spite
and soon
o baal
sired the morn..

i


upset an oxymoron
of little interest
(not strictly oxymoron
either)

but we do our best..
the sky is falling
like the old nest
pick it up

look through the holes
and wonder of
our lonely existence
in stone..

ii

consider the moss
and the random
beauty of it´s
elegance..

question it´s
practise
and comfort
which is set

in your hand
now
like any
lost crown..

iii

no oxymoron
no doubting
here is love
and here is thin

reason
make up
our minds
in a few sands
here is faith..

i


the neighbours like to shout
while the sun  come´ s out
lily is off her pretty head
to the sky dangles thread

soft she spake no doubt
how did this come about
lifted shyly off her bed
and to an alien wed

(they resembled trout
that fetching pout..)
so i was duly bled
and impregnated

soon a mewling brat
star blown and stout
multi eye and headed
plasma fed..

saviour of the planet..!
born to poet..
born to lead
man is saved..!

ii

well the world is in a pretty
pickle
if waiting  for her alien love
chile
the sun has gone in
awhile
the sunday sea continues
a smile
hovers upon her red
lip..

iii


lily a dream
cast her leaden
glance sky
wards..

lily takes from
her sleeve
her treasured
cards..

a **** on her
******
and she´ s set
on ward..!

the future
laid bare
a seer
a bird

a bard
her face
drops
bad..?
bad..

these strange
recollections
inducing
sad

reflections
caste one forth
to endless
circle-
mad..

nothing about
strange
that
but this
my god
free heart..

and the majestic
lady..
buttercups
to
her eyes
what is it..

nothing good
a wild wood
any black
blood
now this card
is usually benign

the goblets of
wine not poison
but swamp
and sunk
and choked

seems clear
not here
a hovel
and a grey
evoked

still trees and
stiller eye
there is dark
that walk
abroad

behind and
away soon
cries like
a unique
word

and yes
black coagulation
while meek
and there
struggle losing
purr

if we knew
the end
or even
this card
and this one
so little
cur
normally
a staunch
friend

souls want..!
you will get
what you deserve
this skull says
crafty devilry..!

another cooling goblet..
lily..a strong pull..
upon
the
pipe
of
love..

i never dished it out and i refuse
to take it in
i held myself in a kind of cosmic
equilibrium

accepting the vague random love
as surely
as my glass of milk
and twix at four

fate being the difference
between
the sky blood and free
a lone apple core

wandered with some
habit
nothing noting
not no

being all in
complete
and yet
so

giving and taking
apart
pivoting
and started

like some barn
station to
flexible
or rigid so

thus receiving
and giving
but at a safe
distance..

we have scorpions
my wield has two eyes
i saw no bee
running my right hand

up the railing and
continues hurting..
the cunning man i am
i urinated on it

and that has stopped
there is some wisdom
in the old ways
***** is a natural

healing..

vi

rainy day scribe
would like to imbibe
sweet long ago youth
to kiss your red mouth
that soured wine
and screamed our
insane face..

i would look into your eyes
and tried not to
think of them
so much for
that no..
but i´ d be gone
it was the ****
and all that colors
when we got effed up
you saved your best insights
for our arguements
you brought me two black
kittens
i put you in bed and fed you
porrige
everyone complained
i went to the occasional party
but prefered the country
we see the cure..

i lived the country
we went to cinema
we saw the piano
you on the bus

me on my bike..
i enjoyed that forrest ride
cool in the morning
and out of the breeze
you with the haarlam gazette..

o twas a cold of a winter so
i might visit my friend fiet
who lived on a house boat
with so many cats and dog
and a chicken and geese..
we would have a cup of t
and looked at her photos..

when the canals froze
when at the sea side
or with a sweet cognac
and a pint of mild
heck my hand throb
and my heart too..

i

let´ s be birds
repulsive creatures
though they saved
my bacon i
on a few
occasions

when in the jungle
when there is silence
lily is jane
i liked hairy women..parenthesis..
i found their gossamed armpits
a delight
fine as a bird´ s underbelly
ah yes birds
prophosize the future
so when you hear their
happy little voices in the
morning

ii

excuse me i am trying
not to go into shock
i was bitten by something
my hand is bright red
and pained tingling
runs amok..
in the jungle
there are so many death..parenthesis

iii

a few years i was bitten
by a snake
i was trying to help
and grabbed it´ s pretty tail
you will be happier over there
yonder green..
but the ungrateful little *******
sunk his fangs into my hand..
and i eased the back of his delicate
skull like a miracle from god..
and prised his delicate jaw asunder
i thought that will teach me to interfere
put him in the grass..


iv

birds..
let us be..we have a lot of blackcaps..
quite a lot of jays
though it has been years
since i have seen
then hoopoe
i like them
man bird
who does not
love and fear the
waxen wing..
the sparrows laugh
the blackbird like
some gibbet´ s shadow
outside my window
the pyramid
and golden eye
the seagulls don´ t care..
sometimes what sit of
goldfinches arrive like
gatecrashers and it is
a thunderbird..lol
****..we all panic like
detroit..
i watch the crane
like dinosaur
slide across the sky..
there is a stray parrot
abroad
our ducks were murdered
one windy night..
but the parrot silent
once i thought about a robin
and it appeared
i thought that weird
and it said well
we have some vulture
lily stop that
no
we
don´ t
....

v

iii

then with a bit of old
rope i tied the afore
mentioned in the middle
and made a divide
between the cab
and the back..

fastening it to the
crescent with some tacks..
it smelled of paint for years..
especially in the cold..
a supply of chopped wood
sat on the passenger seat..

i released the knot and it
fanned like a dream of new orleans..
i read and resisted madness
in the spring the tulips won..

in the evening i got ******
with the paper girl..
listened to radio four..
and sat by the canal
hey claudia..!
she told her parents  over
dinner..

ii


but then i flicked it
off a nearby stick
and danced to some
music
on some skanky
blanket
of grey
and love
thus relieving
the boredom
and stress
fear
etc..
paint and not
there oh therre
so i enjoyed
there and gods
smiled down..

i


who would have imagined i´ d
have my very own computer
we had wooden pens in a class
of sixty..
two a third of a pint of milk every
day
(though i never made monitor..)

in the summer the milk could become
disappointingly tepid
and in the winter
the blue **** fed on the icing cream
thus rendering it unfit..

(though we drank it any hows..)
we all found that very charming
and did not begrudge their ingenious
ness..
(they who had no breakfast drank

sometimes three bottles..)
we had abacus or what ever the plural
is..
(i don´ t care..)
which if i am correct
was a system of mathematic
invented by the persians
or so..

but my favourite lesson
was propelling paint by
a straw..
(i was a budding pollack..)
the random and sub conscience..
and some old newspaper..oh yeah..


i used the same method years later
to wean myself off *****..
opening up pleasure
that had been sleeping..
stimulating and fused..
now,i have a computer..!

i

Melancholy
Is
Come..
Hell
As
Effort
Lies-

Just
Out!
Hues
None­..

ii

melancholia
reverse square
of humour..

melancholic
lightly dark
near yet far..

melancholy
stone wall
can not see..