time is very cruel
for when there is only
memories
we have no memory..

it is like a duel
in monty python
my mind disappearing
come back!

come back i yell
i will bite your ***
o i recall
but not feel..

ii



!!i left my banjo
i did not care
how i savoured
el vino

i slept right beside
the sea
in the summer
i remember

the sss
as it swept
the hot night
gentle dawn´s caress..

iii

to the long and exacting
beach road
to cognac coffee and backgammon
i recall a viking mouth open

wake up drinking and laughing
arguing with everyone
scratch and laugh
b is fighting

iii


fit..so i dug holes
it
i
and what-not..

effing bricks
effing and
effing that
ef..

i painted
i panted
o my pants
blue

and white
but kept clear
of cement
r

loved the cement
wagon
and backgammon
i liked diamonds

and rust
bean soup
the bus
and backgammon..

the cinema was some fun
i did the garbage truck
i cleaned the beach
b and i

worked at the museum
there was scant electric
and we slept 25
in the old cobblers house..

i picked tomatoes
and emptied the glasshouses
we treasured
i had some charming land ladies..

who fed and doted upon me
c
with her snowy long braids
she would cry-mikali..

lo there was bean soup
we shared the fire
and she would remember
an old lover..

i studied a single tear
descend her cheek
i had one old room
over the sea..

the bars were open
23 hours a day
bean soup was cheap
good bean soup..

to my friends!
i am your friend!-
when i write
i think of your light

when i play guitar
it is to your star..
in the shower
and during a light

shower..
sometimes a minute
sometimes an hour
to your health!

and to your families
health!
the world is strange
and wonderful

nothing is all
we make of it
our self
and we are..!

i


the wild flowers beside-
like yellow eyes
and purple brides
emit cries

with soulful bye-byes
oh shy
time and it´s tides
soon to die

a while to bide
soft sighs
to blind
trumpet cry-

ii

my window show
in a green nest
cacti flowers
are scarlet

and i saw two fat lizards
dandillion breast
dove and swallows
snow north west

small fishing boats
two or less
some freaky cloud
it rained less

then
or than
the sea loud
the breeze chilled..

(when
i won
proud
my will..)

clowns with fake bells
your name
what to tell
a game..

what a ******* hell
no particular aim
say well
the blame

lies well
lame
jester bell
love wains

hate swells
what a dame
he fell..
(fake dumb bells..)

the wild flowers below my window
think i am one of them
in this they are not completely wrong-
i too look to the sun

and they don´t know the words..
i wave in the spring breeze so
they are purple and yellow
sometimes hopeful trumpets..

and sometimes we curl within
and think
dream of bees
recall past lovers..

before the woman runs home
shouting are you home
before the begun to turn
us..

not before breakfast
but at the split awakening
became a distant end
on the magical bus..

now and then my friend
i played my part i did my
bit
i have learned to cuss..

may day
yay mad
(ay ay dm..)

mad yay!?
may day
ya ya md-

dam!ayya!!
yam yad....
yad yam...

dya mya
ma da yy..
day may

d a y m a y
d a y m a y
d a y m a y..

i would write a testament to my uncle ron
who only allowed to play the guitar upon
the toilet then

rendered forth with frankie and johhny

a song i love to play
got his revenge by leaving the
door open


i remember going to school
with satchel over my shoulder
stumbling by the door

a tyrant his wife aunt mary


a classical pianist
though a lovely lady
class..

i grabbed some breakfast
uncle ron came downstairs
in his silk dressing gown

and burning the cheroot!

and headed for the bar..

i love that song..

the wild flowers below my window
a purple gown and overgrown
the sky is grey and softly blown-
the birds have taken back

what was always theirs then..
and what we can infer
is when and if and how
the moment a rolling stone..

i love you sweetheart
a good start
long and short
love´s merciless caught

experience has taught
naught..
still a ****** net
of cheer and upset..

a nice start
what bottomless shout
gosh,live and let
what a trusted out-

i witch
a charm sort of loved
beguiled and such
by love circled!?

the start touched
a manic dove
to always be
youth

!

never was
was never
ever is
is ever
is now
now is

all i know
know i all
i all
all i..

iii



my neighbour in eilat
what an amazing chap
i wanted to know his story

but he was far too canny
so secret he
he was silent

the only thing he ever said
was never run
i had that feeling

so i went to consult with tom
storm clouds were brewing
he played the beatles

early stuff and after adjusting
his cigarette holder
would play mr postman

by the carpenters
in this hiatus
he gave me an odd look..

which kind of meant
go to dahaab  and
enjoy yourself

so i did
..

ii


the poor girl´s heart was broken
so was mine
so was every ones´..

anyone marry s..
i paid and we went in
the street
we bid adieu..

he back to his leaflets
and me on to denmark
i stocked up on metaxa
only the best for her

five star- i liked
the barrel..
in copenhagen
people were friendly

her name was ingar
i remembered
her boyfriend moved out
and i moved in

he gave me a sympathetic
look
that is where i first heard
tom waits

thank you ingar
but i just could not
**** all the time
yo had the warmest smile..

even my lost heart
felt the sun
when you smiled
from your ancient

reserves
so generous
burns me still
seared me till

dying
ha
bless
you..

i

a)


got to keep writing
o note to self
i remember my life
sleeping sand hard

concrete worse..
now i have a dicky hip
no surprise
i should have worked harder

and paid rent but the more
i worked the more drunk
i got
and i worked hardest

when drunken..
(but insane..)
so i took refuge in
reading


b)


the written word
became god
there is sanity
in tolstoi

i roamed with anna
but more transfixed
by bbd as he played chess
things looked darker

but by the waves
life is grand
war and peace
s you ran off with

i hope you are well
and realize by now
the gravity
of your offence


c)

i had to forgive you
because you had recently
married and now was
on the run..

and her brothers were hot
on your trail
you see for every corner
and the loud door

i should explain that s was desparate
for liturature
so for a brother
i lent him

peace when i was coming to the
end of war
and he swore
so he married

they were drunk
he said the party was on
war and peace..!
he knew her a week..

they had his passport
they had shotguns..
we got very ******
sorry,about the book

good man yourself
what a party man
o s you just wanted
to get married..

what an effing party
in this old fisherman´s cafe
on the sea harbour
we laughed...

stores cleared out
is it all a matter
of perspective
or shout!

in 1918 millions
dead from flu
after war that
slaughtered

millions..what
a what´s it
is man..?!
i am reading

the stand
by stephen king
i know it´s not
a good idea..

beaten by the machine
my heart wear thin
never fear wise hearts
there is always the sun

is it taboo to know
oneself?
rather count
wealth
or eat a twix?

think and breath..
and the remote
far away so
or take
a risk..

like the child telling tales
teacher regards us and
sniffs the wind-
(ask not for whom the bell
tolls..*)

a)

i


they nigh on carted me away
in some distant palmed bay
cashew fenny* and too much beauty..

(you know the way..)
it would have been a short fray
they left no exit free..

i was zonked and skinny
they were three
and tidy..

i eyed the nurse wearily
exotic the flora and tree
the birds- free..!

the people so politely
inclined
sands so dazzling
..

b)


so,i said
must be off
late for tiffin..

which
was
funny..

anyway she
laughed
and i made

like a blade
of grass-
blowing

on spring days
past the guys
and did not glance back..

ii

they had me cornered
i thought well,now,
i´m ******..!

i was naked
lsd..?!
lol..

but we british
we have a saying
never darkest then

before the dawn
and we introduced
tiffin..

how did we rule this
world
the biggest empire

this world ever
knew..
quick thinking


..

c)


in india this woman
this woman lay naked
awaiting my passage..

i near on tripped over
her brown skin one time
she was so pretty..


d)

i was twenty


e)

fenny is like poteen
or raki..i liked it
made from either coconuts
or nuts..a memory of my youth
..

it seems so la di da
but a poet is born...

when a youngster
top of the chess ladder
i lost the killer instinct
and seized the
white witch
that is prayer
through mother nature
or some magik
like young struck..

but i said bon voyage
to the logic
and gained the wages
of the curious..and was
the universe
all that was without
was within..
how we adored
the stars
my ma and me..!

but i can not find
my desire to win ever
again-(except
in a drunken brawl
that does not count..)
how i think my life
would have been
i threw the game..
but in that capitulation
was more thought..

maybe i was ten
may be i lost
maybe i won
well a draw
well with step
well to hell
can´t tell
won´t
will
bill and ben
spotty dog
..

the day of black and white
so much the better
was *******-

there was a quality of light!
what the butler saw
she squirming on the knee

laughing with silk stockings
bright!
champagne and cigar
a puzzled eye

in the key
hole
now the maid

now the hound
now her husband
now blood..

a lot for a penny
the beauty in tone
how is love..

how is the world with you?
round and flat too
a tear track or bugaloo..

or grey to greyer..
and bach
aire on a g..

easy to be
every breath
blue..

is it all a lie
and cripplingly
true..

dream or reality
come on down
or high..

this morning there was
a Kestrel in the agave
it looked in through my
window-
i don´t know why..

but i played it a tune on
my pipe
and then a chord on
the i st third and
fifth..

three blind mice
and an e major
on the guitar..
in semblance
of flamenco music..

ii

this after breakfast
i shared my daily egg
with tom-cat..
whilst reading a note
off a post card-essay-
page 353-the chymical
wedding by lindsay
clarke-from a possible 1264-
an attempt-a trial..

the way you walk is the way i walk-
numinous like insect talk..
the way you grip your fork
is the gods at work..

the way you read a book
makes me look and look..
you say the time it took
might as well -

the time you take to
complete a simple task
is a sojourn in hell
the way you sing

your hair is different
so is your skin
fresh like dawn
old as the hills..

no end
all to begin
each day
a new one..

i woke up in heaven
but fell asleep in hell..
during the meanwhile
my dreams cast a spell..

in your heart was woven
impossible to tell
love as an ancient
coin in a wishing well..

but you had gone!
leaving a tiny bell
that like your smile
began to swell..

in the morning called
a cacophonous knell
that you returned
a sweet kiss to  tell..

touch me anyway you will
for long i have been dead
to this stinking world
my brain is bread

my heart screams ****
my soul bled
my feet flat
my blood still

my eyes are oily marble
where worms already crawl
wisdom and knowledge
nil

can´t spell
all nothing
nothing all
until

touch me  anyway you can
for i am a mystical man
and i shall return then
your sweet caressing

ten time
who knows time
ah,shall you live
the moment
my  sweet harlot

beauty ******
sweet eternal
and together
ride universal

sweet lover..

how do i validate my feelings
(well really who cares)
a poet stood beneath ice
we seek justification

we seek reason..
but this christmas morn
i saw a a robin red breast
and in it´s eyes

no interest
only hunger
some irritation
and bare need..

it is the first
well it was
unquenchable
thirst

for son of god
cause
we looked to
the

changeable..
i will spend
time
(because
it

is mine)
in worthy
pursuit
of soulful

contemplation..
mostly the
sweet
eternal..

ii

and to the little birds
who sing high
in the agave
hallelujah..!

and to my guitar
a true friend
who continues
to give..

all through the
hesitant years
one a small
twig on great

tsunami
to live
attempting
some semblance

at happiness
as body and soul
gradually
falls apart..

iii

but generous heart
is
a tasty dish
a magnanimous
itch

best served
fresh
taken
in loving bite

with patience
and understanding
a little spice
faith

and wise
floss
less than
one´s strain..

whenever i think
about ever
or when

i consider
the surrealistic
i mean

when nails that
sucker
ever

a bit more
vague
so..

e
v
e
r

Ended
Virtually
Ending
Returns..

when?­

i don´t know if i can wait
i don't know if i can die
do i believe in fate
(life a lover´s sigh..)

i do try not to fear
my eyes unborn star
while outside rain falling
and leonard reads his poems..

i dream about you
dreamt about you
i dreamed about you
dreaming about you

how i loved you
how i love you
loving you
love

you
waking
woke
waked
wake..

i am not surprised to exist
but since your first kiss
i have felt like a fish
on a flowered dish

or frozen in a waterfall wish
dirt poor and rich
hid on heaven´s niche
some strange terrible

itch
burns an unseen hole
that you hardly notice
came as no surprise
born into this*

you said
or something as equally
trite
or kitsch and
fell into
drunken oblivion
b....!

the title of a biography
of charles bukowski

i notice if there was a constant
it was you-
you blamed me for your
madness
that was quite a recurring
theme
all  through the confusion
and excess
you were sure of nothing
but this
had you died then
and there
recrimination
on your lips
a raised digit
from the dead
it was my fault
not the pills or
the *****
not your taste
in pain
not your father
or mother
i was in error
not any
other
not even your
god forsaken
predictability
it was me
to the small hours
and on
number one
and why
when all
every other
was fine..
well i don´t know
but you do
there is something wrong
with you(me)
there is something
wrong
with me..
you..

go to a party with you friends
it´s  the details that will destroy
not some general mistake
like lead in the wine vats

like a crumb on your lips..

it is just those insignificant
when there is no mercy
two wires nearly fail
a rip that curls

the light on your hair..

it may all seem so
other world
but all of a sudden
some everlasting fall
brings me down

and your warm hand

it is so common place
so utterly bland
from brown to beige
and back to brown
small town

the fun in your eyes

i can´t be fussed
to cussed
go even to some
wilds party
change my socks

but you are my star dust

the ******* rain is falling
like the gods are *******
i was good at dancing..

ask anyone
some took exception
but when one is young..

sort of a fred astaire
dee dee
on lsd

sometimes i was lost
and hid in the toilet
sometimes the moon

on the sea
the scented breeze
i thought god loves me

must be
why doubt
i felt the moment

and understood it´s
cost
soon be gone

choice was paltry
stars are falling
because

stars were born
there was strange days
but not strange

as these
so before
and after

before it lapses
into
meaningless twaddle

and perhaps
forget
everything

**** my pants
shriek
and wail

beauty is still
beauty is true
beauty is me

beauty is you
beauty is
beauty..

the ******* rain is falling
after a summer in pain
i see your face cracking
and out plops your brain..

i scream a happy warning
i am color blind
oo what a winter coming
i will be kind..

j,vhjmhn

as regards free speech
a hoary old chess nut
why pick on chess nuts..?
you get my point..

perhaps better to remain
silent
live in a donkey hut
peace with in reach..!

i wish i were antonio o!
winding the hills so
into and out quilted to
the excited children know

the distant three wheel echo
of imagination -blue and yello
pop ups and quietly through
the sun rising finger drew

across a blinding line anew
a love to page them do
and don´t..lo!
antonio!

in his biblio!
run promises blow
like a wizard´s brew
come all to know..!

iii

weakness
loch ness
gone west

are there
aliens
in

our midst
we
monkeys

with
typewriters
wish

were
we
fish

strength
h­eight
width

breath
in
out

time
space
birds

words
why
bother

ii


lily the cynical
that explain´s all
nothing explains all..

some brick wall
silence a wail
an ill..

an empty fill
better will
for a while..

a quiet chill
a church aisle
a full sail..

seagulls
tell
wildflowers
bell..

a swallow´s tail
dales
hail

ail..
ai
a

i



did you know lily
it is impossible to think
in english

logically
that is
difficult

but not
impossible-
eg

to be has 21
distinct meanings
and every one

false to fact..
(what ever
that means..)

answers on
a ciber
postcard..

i


lily with nothing
i take her and enfold
she slides down
and nestles so

a purring kitten
shy and bold
space blown
to everything

a nodding
seed sown
from end
to germinate

from floated
distant spoor
to knocking
death´ s door

off distance
to near
wild core
and here..

ii