Outcasted kid with purple hair

Albeit not the kind of violet
That made your nostrils drip
With a watery ambrosia
Sugary enough to belong to a bee

And not the kind of
heavy, royal, omnipresent
contentment plum presents as a
molten lava
perfecting the pockmarks in the pie

My tendrils were not reminiscent of
home or
anything savoury so

I tangled them in tiaras
belonging to some Duchess' daughter or
one of Henry's wives or

Maybe twined them round
Frita's pallet and
Dyed my scalp a more pleasing hue or
Anything other than purple

Because purple was what I was not
Purple was Lilacs and
Pansies and Heliotropes and Tulips and
Lavender and

That little wild flower aforementioned

whose name I can't bare say
for the sake of
a humble beauty
such as hers

'twould be a shame to make comparable
To the wet-dog-fur look
Of my purple hair

And so I learned to get lost

In a past I always felt my own
Traveling continents and
Floating through eons

While my classmates  coloured in
British Columbia and
Where is Nunavut again?

Growing, I gained companions

A faery,
Athena,
Aslan and
Frodo, Einstein, Plato,
Theodore Geisel, Mahatma Ghandi
and Louis Leakey, Jamal Dewar,
Joan of Arc and John Lennon and
it all became
more complicated

Because my world was in flux
Oh it ebbed and it flowed and it expanded
Like the molten plum but this time
It really was more like lava

Assuredly you'll understand;
See the seams in our stitching!
Our Worlds are sewn together!

And as much as we would like
to cling to our
individualism

at some point we all must
accept that there is
but one

Intrinsic as our innards
Are our atoms and
Electrons and
mine are yours and
yours are hers and
ours together are all of the stars and
it really is
beautiful

At some point the twisting shroud
The squeezing and contracting -
of the world inside my head and
the world inside my eyes and
the world I was walking around in
and the world that I saw above me -
it tensed then halted
and became very dense
then melted

What a glorious
Ubiquitous, secure and everlasting amalgamation!
I opened my eyes
To find Van Goghs Scissors
All bloodied still and so
I cleaved my purple hair

But to find Hieronymus' oils and
watercolours so
I made my skin a hellish canvas
Painted all in yellows and blues
Without a hint of purple

Now from shoulders to forearm to wrist
from breast to navel to hip
from thigh to calf to foot
legible as anything are
lines that lilt and gleam
sighing songs of
devils and cherubs alike
and of sparrows and snakes

So after heaven is hell
and after hell is Nirvana
And Manna is as good as dirt
if Ambrosia is but
the spit of a bee

It all always works out
Because at the end comes
Death and after that
We don't know
But I do know that
I don't know
Much at all to begin with

Except for four things, almost assuredly:
1. Energy is all
2. I will never cease to find shouting at people from my bedroom or a car window amusing
3. My mother loves me more than anyone
4. Nothing is certain, except for uncertainty

The ocean will never understand my yearnings for love

And I will never understand why he likes to swallow boats

But we can still pretend that I sing as beautifully as a siren

Like we pretend that all sailors go to Heaven

Forever I will crave your affection

Like I crave milk when I eat a peanut butter sandwich

And no one will know the emptiness I will become

When my tiny angel finally flies home

I hope that Paris is nice this time of year

And I hope that Asia is even better

Kiss the person you love

Before someone else does first

Is there anything that can make me feel colors

Besides Pink Floyd and floating on waves

But really, what more is life than eating meals

And feeling things that don't make much sense at all

This is the fifth dream I have dreamed with him in it. Been going on all week. I am not even thinking of him that much. The ****, just woke up. I was making a conscious effort not to think of him in the dream even.
In the dream, my Biology teacher also teaches us about a pollen mix called abocoptus. I googled abocoptus to see if the dream is a sign. It is not a real word thank god.

I always wrote ****-ee before, it made more sense with the context, you are stretching the rope, it is adding to your acceleration, you are, possibly, falling.
My darling friend, it is not the momentum of the rope I was warning you against. Although I wonder what metaphor that could take. No, I was warning you about the fall. Period.
Albiet I warned with an unconscious mind. For I was falling too. No, I did not jump. I shall not take that credit. (Not because I am above it, but because others who read here know I did not jump). But we both fell anyways. We fell for fictional men. We fell for fictional beasts. And we fell for boys.
Good luck to us both. May we never get used to the fall. May each jump feel more strongly than the first. May we never be that hurt that we are too scared to jump again.

Here, now, I sit quiet thinking about
all the times
When like pendulum I was lost in crowds
and noises (like pendulum)
to and fro.
I replay recklessly the jobs that soaked me up and
the times of life living no life
How quickly we tend to forget the spaces above clouds
low on air but high on intoxication
The valleys hidden beyond horizon
The shrubs welcoming with berries amidst thorns
streams and brooks to displease your thirst
and the soft bed of moss and grasses
The no man land, the nature- full of hospitality

I must go there, the place that came searching for me
The place I have in my dreams
Let me walk out for a while
jumping off this walls we built
Lets go dancing to the sound of silence
Country roads, lead me there
Mountains are calling and I must go!