she is so lost
she is so lost
she cries all day
she lost her soul

orange
is my favourite colour
she said
it reminds me
of sunshine and warmth
and the happy feeling
that everything
will be fine

rain
rain
fun

lemon
oranges
summer

pizza
memories
happiness

it does not matter
what they say

if they say
you are crazy
smile

if they say
you are a dreamer
smile

if they say
you have lost touch with reality
smile

if they say
you cannot write
let your words flow

in many ways he was like
all the other men
she had loved and left before
but there was something about him
that felt different
exciting and mysterious
it made her shiver
with delight and expectation
but also anxious
as she discovered a longing in her
she had not experienced before
this unknown desire alarmed her
and she feared loosing control
I need to quickly decide
whether to leave him or
to succumb to my desire
she hastily thought
yet there was no rush
her heart had already decided
as this time she had met
her soul mate

she plays the piano
thoughtfully
rationally
concentrating on hitting
the right notes
there is no passion
or joy in her playing
the only thing that matters to her
is playing the piece
from beginning to end
without any mistakes
I am watching her
waiting for the moment
when the music
will capture her soul
and merge her body
with the rhythm of the song
at this point
she and the piano
will have become one
and mistakes
will no longer matter

night
tea
calmness

black sky and bright moon
foxes on their nightly hunt
anxious thoughts appear

writing to my friend
connecting with pen and joy
happy is my soul

hipp
hopp
flop

piano
music
joy

listen
understand
smile

why do I
always attract
the wrong men
she wonders
initially they are
kind and understanding
but soon they become
impatient, inconsiderate
and hurtful
the same happens
again and again

she locked the door
so that nobody
could disturb her
she needed peace
and aloneness
as she had to decide
whether to marry him
or to follow her dreams

when you smile
I see the little girl
who was full of awe
about the wonders
of this world
had a sense of adventure
a believe that
anything was possible
and could be achieved
with lightness and joy
seeing you smile today
makes my soul dance
with happiness
as I can see
that despite  the challenges of life
the little girl has survived

I watch him
shaping a mug
on the pottery wheel

fully concentrated on the task
he firmly pushes down the clay
and then gently pulls it up
to create the perfect mug

I wonder if I will feel
his strength and gentleness
when I drink from his mug

you
me
harmony

she woke up
in the middle
of the night
and realized
that she had
to leave him
if she wanted
to regain
her untroubled self

why
can I not
follow through
on things
she asks

I remain
silent
hoping
somebody else
will know
the answer

she listens
to the bell
striking twelve times
after the last stroke
she writes down
her resolution
for the new year:
to be true to herself

she sits
in her comfy chair
looking back
at the year
and sighs
what holds me back
to do the things
I yearn to do
what paralyses me
when I decide to change
well worn habits
what sabotages
all my plans
carefully designed
to improve my life
she takes a deep breath
hoping to find the answer
to all her questions

will she
ever
be able
to write again
or have
his words
finally
destroyed her

I am changing
my life
she said
with a smile
and left
the house

she watched
the people in the room
clapping when a winner
was announced

what a grey
and well connected
group they are
she thought
and left the room

she can hear the bell
striking twelve times
another day has passed
with another opportunity missed
she cannot sleep
and wonders
if the same
will happen today
or will she have the strength to do
what she should have done
a long time ago

you need to set
impossible goals
if you want to be
a successful poet
he advised

she looks at him
confused
as she finds it
impossible to do
what he suggests

music
rhythm
power

skies are grey and dull
sipping coffee on her own
heavy heart and soul

she sits on the floor
crosslegged
trying to calm
her mind
as her thoughts
repeatedly return
to the window
a window
battered
by the storms of life - her life
a window
nearly closed
with the gap
slowly but steadily
getting narrower and narrower
soon it will be too narrow
for her soul
to slip through
into a better and happier world
all she needs to do
is to get up
and open the window

will she?

she watches
the raindrops
gently landing
on her skin
she is not afraid
of the rain
as she knows
that the sun
will soon
shine again

storm
sunshine
relationship

he sits
opposite her
his face
slightly turned
to the right
his eyes
fixed at a point
far in the
distance

she looks
at him
her face
is motionless
but her eyes
tell me
how sad
she is

looking at
the feather
on the pavement
she remembers
that as a little girl
it had been
her dream
to be a poet
when growing up
however
she sadly
had to let go
of her dream

would you get married again
he asks

only if I can fully trust him
she replies

do you miss him
she asks
I do not know
I answer
as I enjoy
spending time
with myself

what is your style
she asks

what is my style
I wonder

end
beginning
midlife

grey
grey
red

scream
stop
breathe

sometimes
I am not sure
whether I am
coming or going
succeeding or failing
creating or destroying
supporting or opposing
agreeing or contradicting
loving or hating

night
heat
desire

the song of the nightingale
touches my soul
so hauntingly
beautiful and magical
but also full of sorrow
reminding me
that nightingales
will soon be silent forever

looking at
the lush green trees
she weeps
as she fears
that the world
will be less green
for her grandchildren

why can I not sleep
she asks
exhausted from the thoughts
racing in her mind

as she has no answer
to her nightly question
she takes a deep breath
and falls asleep

he told her
to revisit her past
as this would help her
to reignite her creativity

he promised her
excitement, happiness
and the thrill to create

but when she went there
all she could find
was boredom, sadness
and a desire to give up

she looks
at the letter
confirming
the change
of her name
and smiles
as she is
delighted
to be herself
again

she sits
at the window
watching the birds
fly past

why can I not be
as free as a bird
she sighs
longing to spread out
her wings
and leave all
her sorrows
behind

have I done
everything
wrong
she wonders
seeing
the displeasure
on his face

as she does
not know
the answer
she decides
to write a poem