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I need to allow myself
not to have pressure
she says
determined
to relax
and enjoy life

I look at her
and I am sad
as I sense
that she
does not know
how to
do that
up - down
hope - despair
up - down
hope - despair
up - down
hope - despair
the never ending
rhythm
of her life
hopeless
he said
watching her
paint

she felt
his disapproving
gaze
and froze
waiting
sorrow
longing
why do you
attach
all these labels
to me?

foreign
middle-aged
cis
childless
divorced
heterosexual
jobless­
dreamer

is it to conveniently
exclude or include me
whenever it suits you?
that is
an off-the-wall idea
he laughs
and leaves
the room
unaware
that his comment
encourages her
to continue
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