I
have
written
one
hundred
twenty-
seven
poems
about
you.
Please
­let
me
go.

i kissed nine people on the mouth last night
but i wish i'd been kissing you.
i danced for hours last night
until my feet were numb and my head was spinning.
i wish i had the courage to tell you
i'd much rather have been watching you.
so many people shared their physical
free love with me
but all i could think is "do you still love me?"
and with each beat of the pounding bass-line,
over and over i thought
*"please miss me"
"please miss me"
"please miss me"

its shiny
its rusty
its the first thing
she grabbed
when she felt pain within
because its better
to match the way she felt
on the inside
to how she looked on the outside
and who could forget
that feeling
of the silver blade
sliding down her arm
and the crimson red blood weeping from her cuts
as she becomes alive again
as the feeling from the blade
sent electricity down her spine.

I feel so helpless and weak
Taking words that they speak
I just smile saying I don't care
While I wish they weren't there
So I could let my guard down
Letting my confidence drown
It's not as bad as it seems
I've just lost my self-esteem
I wear a smile to hide it
I honestly feel like ****
I want to be strong like you
I want my smiles to be true