she'll walk off
and you'll walk behind,
you feel like a man
and see everything in soft focus exposure
and her walking ahead, timid and feeling triumphant.
this was your first kiss
and not your last kiss
but your most important kiss;
the foundation kiss,
the scaffold kiss,
cathedral columns holding up the whispering gallery of this kiss.

or did you walk off
and she walked behind,
did she feel like a woman,
soft, warm, and kind seeing everything is a hard focus exposure?
that was her second kiss,
not her last kiss
and not her most important kiss;
it was a mill stone kiss,
a grist lipped ground-down-again kiss,
a motel-hotel-roadside chapel of cheap kisses kiss.

It's two in the morning
and I'm lying in bed,
listening to the blues
and smoking.
You light up my phone:
"God, we could've been great."

The guitar weeps
and sings me ballads
of lovers lost.

With each exhale,
I hope to rid my system of you.

n n bk bknkj

I drink too much caffeinated green tea at midnight
I take offense to things that, honestly, I probably shouldn't
I like to be right
And being wrong makes me indescribably upset
I am at fault
I am made of faults
I am made of broken glass and melting ice and those strange reflective substances found at the gas station at two in the morning
I am me
I am a hot mess
I am wonderful
I am alive

I've never been so fixated on the the scent of another

As I have found myself with you, gorgeous lover

Your body is so soft, inviting, and warm

Evoking sensual activities I yearn to perform:

licking you softly
stroking you hard
tongues intertwine
as your body gets scarred
my heart beats fast
while my breathing is sporadic
embracing you tightly
rarely ever so ecstatic
the sweat pours
along with moans of delight
I'll **** you off
until you put up a fight
switch to vigorous thrusts
entangled, sublime
**** me so good
it should be a crime
anything you do
I'm sure to enjoy
so never doubt yourself,
beautiful boy
my fingers are eager
set to explore
just say the words
and I'll be your *****

Oh strong man, you will be missed

I'm grateful for those lips that I've kissed

I lust over you to the extremes

And when you are gone, you'll remain in my dreams <3

depression licks her lips
and draws her attention on me from across the room
I fumble awkwardly, trying to appear preoccupied
yet there is no escape
my demise is inevitable

Hold me closer as I slip from your enclosed embrace
I can't stand too close to you
The fire is all consuming now
You douse the flames with gas
The cooling water long gone

Your fingertips trail along my arms
Leaving gouges
Splinters of broken glass embedded deep within
Blood trails and drips
You are the cause of this.

My hair is gone from the constant tugging
Yanking the strands is a form of release
Release from this inside pain.

My heart melts
Drips from my finger tips down to those forgotten puddles at our feet
You splash in them without a care in the world.

i’ll never be your
tall dark and handsome your
captain of the
football team your strong perfect
arms and scruffy unshaven
face i’ll never give you a  
six pack underneath an unbuttoned
dress shirt
because i can hardly
unbutton my shirt without
wanting to tear my chest into
shreds — tumors on my chest,
massive lumps of fat and
anger and wrongness,
i can give you those and
i can give you the hopeless
ugly honor of watching me
cry in bed because
being naked scares me
almost as much as  
never getting
rid of this.  
i am so toxic and so afraid
of smothering you.