Invest,
Reinvent,
Pull back,
Pull back,
Pull back,

Unzip the baggy of needles and inject yourself with sunshine,
Steal the knives out of the backs of your enemies and put them in your collection of memories you aren't too fond of but need to have so you stay grounded,
Stay grounded,
Laying on the floor dripping in blood, fighting your own head to understand why you feel like this

I love you so much that it hurts my head,
I let the bad parts in, I forget the good parts exist,
It's hard to exist when you're in a fistfight with your bedroom walls, like you're fighting something that will never fight back,
I'm fighting for you and you will never fight back, but I cannot stop,
I must fight and fight and fight until my knuckles are numb, I will drown for you,
I will climb every tree to reach for you,
I will dig deep into the graves of your worst fears to fight off the demons that haunt you,
I just wish you did the same for me

All of this is a grieving process,
In the sense that I am dying for everything and everything is looking at me and never talking to me,
Never giving me the attention,
Never giving me the satisfaction I so desperately need,
I cannot function,

I AM LIVING, I AM LOVING
I AM LIVING, I AM LOVING
I AM LIVING, I AM LOVING

I am INSEPARABLE
WHY AM I LIKE THIS
Why do I worry,
Why do I care,
WHAT IS HOLDING ME BACK

It hurts to have to be honest with the ones that you love,
It hurts to give and not receive,
It hurts to look at you,
It hurts to feel like this,

Everything is hurting all of the time and everything is looking at me and everything is laughing and everything is spitting at my face

I just want to believe
I just want to see you fight
I just want you to want me, *******, is that so hard to ask

Snap necked seraphim
Poltergeist afterlife
The difference between seeing and believing
The difference between knowing and understanding
The difference between wanting to know and wanting to understand
The beatniks and their denim
Our fears and how we treat them
Heartbreak and soaking it all in
Love and blowing it all out
******* it all in and pretending it doesn't hurt
Letting it all out and letting everyone know it ******* hurts

A lot

Spraying perfume on plastic flowers to make sure no one knows they are fake
Spraying perfume on yourself to make sure know one knows you are fake
Beauty supreme, yeah they were right about you
Kissing the lips of destruction to get a taste of what living feels like
A bystander to your own existence, choking and gasping on what little tangible feeling you have left
From the way that you acted to the way that I felt it, from the way that I acted to the way that you didn't feel any of it
You lucky *******
I'm miserable and you haven't noticed, nothing new there
I wish I couldn't miss you, I wish I didn't see you at all

If I die, I will die a martyr
If I die, I want these words to soak into your veins instead of the alcohol and nicotine
I want to be the only thing you feel
I was always selfish, I might as well embrace it

"*******!" screamed the drunken poet stumbling into the door with a half smoked cigarette in one hand and a coffee stained journal in the other

I asked why I wasn't worth the effort and you asked me if it was a rhetorical question,
Rain will fall and fill in the gaps we leave for space to make a home,
The clouds will crowd above our heads to choose between regret and anger; which will make our day more miserable,
We will collapse under the pressure of trying harder than anyone ever has for the things we hold near and dear to us,

A society dying of emotional asphyxiation,
Warmongers threatening the very last thing keeping them from falling off the edge,
Innocence showcased through picking flowers and sharing smiles,
We are broken and we are picking up the pieces one cut at a time,

Gutting the stomachs of lovers and creating sculptures in memory of the undeserving,
Setting fire to everything we're used to in order to create room for the risks we finally aren't afraid to take because of the exhaustion pulling us as far down as we can possibly go,

We sure are a mess, but at least we're giving it our best
Distressed and lost, only hoping to find ourselves in one another,
I want to get as lost as possible, that way I will feel confusion once again; at this point I am used to knowing everything before it even happens,
Or maybe that's just my anxiety making me create situations that haven't even happened yet,
Or maybe I really am a mess,
Or maybe I just need to be told it's okay,
Or maybe I need to embrace the fact that I'm a madman with a twisted messiah complex

All I know is that at the end of the day, I spill my coffee just as much as you do,
I smoke as many cigarettes as I need to,
I find happiness in everything before my sadness does,
I sure am a mess, but at least I am giving it my best,
I am alive, so I might as well live

Dripping in adolescence,
Breaking ourselves to get a gist of what putting ourselves back together has the power to feel like,
Late nights spent making horrible decisions to wake up in the morning and recover what little energy we have left,

It is not me, it is you
It is not we, it is us

Surrounded by hot sweaty bodies collecting cold sweat in jars so we have something to hydrate our obsession with confidence with,
Feeding off positive energy to form some sort of understanding of what pessimism takes to the battlefield every day,
In every way, this is everything we tell ourselves not to get into, yet do anyway,

Giving ourselves to the wrongdoers to see how much of a tolerance we have built up,
Searching the cracks of innocent bodies trying to find the answer to all of the promises broken on us,
Coming up with excuses so we don't have to apologize for being the lesser man,
Ruining our shoes by walking on the mud of teenage heartbreak,
Driving as far away as possible and hoping that our problems won't catch up to us,

We are dangerous, but we wouldn't change a ******* thing
We are always late, but we wouldn't miss any of this for the world
Broken, but not recovering because we love the feeling of knowing we still have the strength to help ourselves if we have to,

We are finding space where there is none,
We are loud when it is all silent,
We are never ending where the ends meet,
Lost in the static of this electrifying atmosphere we call our youth,

Look how high we're jumping from

Not dying, but getting there,
We wouldn't change a thing,
We are loving every minute of it

I never imagined I'd ever love anyone quite like I love you.

You being a variable that is totally interchangeable from person to person because when you lose yourself other people look like lighthouses. It feels like it's when I approach the dock that the lights that called me to shore are just the moolights dance across the cracked glass.
Sometimes there are lights, and just as I throw the rope overboard, they vanish into the cool void. So here I am, sitting in the middle of this vast, mirror-black sea. I can scream all I want but my one voice is swallowed by the ocean's thousands.

Please let me dock.

Im tired

My sails are worn, the boards beneath my feet are fraying. Sometimes, a lighthouse leaves there signal burning long enough for me to warm the rain from my skin.  However, I am thrown back into the ways before long.

I never imagined I'd be so lost that every "help me" came out as "I love you".

And every suicide note becoming a poem.

Think hard, think often
Don't make me sad, just make me try
Don't make me cry, just make me catch my breath
A sorry sinner is nothing but a disappointment to a praying priest, regardless of how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise

The dog days of summer draw heat from the burning sunflowers putting forth freakishly light fragments of a long gone but not forgotten dark alley way in the back of a decomposing poet's mind
Thought of a thousand times, but not remembered nearly as often as it should be
From whiskey saturated journal pages in the back of a city bus to a bouquet of roses delivered from lovers to their others, heartbreak is a beautifully tragic masterpiece that deserves the utmost respect even when being respectful is the last thing you want to be

Trust me, living is truly not believing until you've lived to tell about your beliefs without a crack in your voice
If I put this pen down, I will never get the strength to pick it back up again
If there is beauty in floating up, there is beauty in crashing back down
I just hope my forgetfulness never reminds me of the time I felt whole, I may never get the chance to write again
But my god, what I would give to not feel everything crumbling down all at once

I would die a thousand times if I were promised that emotions and feelings were never ending, I wish to feel everything all at once all the time; it gives me reassurance that I am alive
I wish to live forever
I wish to suffer
I do not love it, however I do need it
I want to feel until I no longer can feel at all
Let it be known that I will live forever in these writings
I have said all that I need to say
And when I am laying in my death bed, I will shout, "Last words are for fools who haven't said enough"

Oh oh come friends. To the river we go

I don't know what situations led to us to come to this magical places.

And I don't know what led me to the i75 alone behind a steering wheel

Oh oh come friends to the river we go

I'm not good at phone calls

But curse my name if I wasn't driving and listen to you talk about your day to your friends mom through satellites.

Oh oh come friends. To the river we go

We have disconnected the call and I'm still thinking of the past days I've listened to you.

I'm stuck thinking what if this is a friends fling like with your friends and your friends friends.

And I think what if this is another excuse to love my self a little more

I think what if this an excuse to drown someone out

I think what if I hurt myself on another person

I think what if you

And I smile

That's all it took.

Was the mere thought of awkwardly reaching for you hand

And I smiled.

Oh oh come friends. to the river we go

There is a traffic jam and I am in the fast lane blaring don't fear the reaper

We are merging lanes

To the right and I am stuck in thought

We are merging lanes

And to the middle I am lighting a cigarette

We are merging

And to the right I am
BAM !

Oh oh come friends to the river we go.

There was no collusion

Just the sound of an 80 thousand dollar bmws horn

A sight I would have been jealous of before
But on this night I don't need a car to smile

On this night I don't need fancy things

On this night I just need you

Oh oh come friends. To the river we go.

I'm passing the sign for the Ronald Reagan highway

And 65 miles per hour has never felt so fast

I want to talk to you but I can hear your voice scolding me for looking at my phone while on the road.

But I smile
I can hear your voice
I can feel you there next to me
And I'm still happy at the mere thought of you


Oh oh come friends to the river we go  

With you I don't need luck
We can split a thousand poles
We can laugh at the thought of a Buddha belly
We can step on 4 leaf clovers
We can walk under ladders because your hand will be in mine and that is the only luck I need

Oh oh come friends to the river we go.

The sight of this river under me is almost as beautiful as you.
Sitting on the bank watching my new friends passionately Kiss while standing on the ruins of a smoldering burnt American flag with jemi Hendrix playing is almost as infinite as you
But nothing will make me happier then being with you.

Oh oh come friends. To the river we go

Blood runs down my face from a cut on my forehead from a beer bottle that you through at me the night before
I taste metal
I'm seeing crimson
This is my own fault
You're leaving with the slam of the door
Two words come to mind
I'm sorry

I can't see straight
The windshield is smeared
It's been a downpour this whole time
I'm driving down the street
100 on the highway
Headlights are flying past me
Two words come to mind
Liberate me

Tell me what I could do
Bring you back in this bed
Blood stains are covering the sheets
Handprints on the walls
I've itching to taste you again
Our nights together play in my mind
Over and over again pushing me
Two words come to mind
Love me

This doesn't feel the same
The lights are out and the candles you lit are flickering
This is the end
One moment bleeds into another
I'm burning the books that my father read to me as a child
6 billion people in the world
And I'm only thinking of you
Two words come to mind
Come home

Survival of the fittest
But I never fit in anywhere
I'm floating on the dust of the gun
The spider are weaving through homes in my bones
I can't keep wishing on this sickness
Two words come to mind
Wake up

The rope pulls on my throat
Scratching and clawing
I'm thinking hang in there
My foot is slipping now
A note falls to the floor
Words scribbled in black ink
"Please stay alive"
Two words come to mind
Forgive me