people do this
they lie and steal
they bleed and feel
they destroy and create
they love and hate

people do this
they cheat and deceive
they loose and grieve
they are martyrs and dreamers
they are believers and schemers

people do this
they look at the stars and wonder
who made the sky?
and who made the ocean?
who made me?
and who made you?

people do this
and even though these people hurt you
you're still alive
and you're going to meet people as alive as you are
people who are alive as children when they cry
and people who are still asking themselves
why are we here?
where do we go when we die?
will humans ever fly?
like birds migrating to warm locations and sunny skies

people do this
they look for god in a book
and some see what others overlook
their hearts all pump and push
and sweat drips form their lips when they are hot

and when someone throws a rock in your ocean
don't be discouraged
even if the waves seem like hurricanes
and you feel there is no hope
and the feeling of them stopping seems like a lifetime

all waves settle
and you will feel as calm as an infant cradled in your mother's arm's
wrapped in your blanket of solitude
shielded from this world
peacefully dreaming your endless thoughts of happiness, new lovers, and warm foods

people do this
they can be ignorant and selfish
and never see anyone past there own existence
but we are all people
we are all the same
and even though we all have our differences
we still have one body, one mind, one heart, and one soul
and we all deserve a second chance

we swam in fields of melancholy
that shimmered like amethyst
the wind caught a fistful of your hair
and it lingered the smell of orchids
I can feel
melting into your softness
I can hear
a heart beat so clear
it was tangible
makes me want to rip out every tooth and every nail
for not holding you
as long as I could
as tight as I could

my grandparents lived on the side of a mountain
to the west a coast and in-between a railroad track
in the mornings, I would lay
stationed in my grandfather war cot
it is soaked the tears and blood he shed for this country
I was too young to understand this
I am only waiting for the train
my dog barks and growls at the rattling picture frames
of the locomotives clackety warble
I crept upstairs to find my grandparents having coffee
my grandmother a white plump cigarette
my grandfather a gentle grey bear
a toy carousel waiting for me
I sat under a dim table lamp
moving the carousel around with my fingers
watching the horses twirl and my dizzy boyish gaze
sparkle at the wonder of my grandparents
who finally want me around
who finally asked me to sit with them
as they have their quiet morning
I was not always so quiet
when my brother was awake we would throw rocks
and sneak into my grandfather shop to peek at his gun collection
he did not like this
my grandmother never had the patients for rambunctious adolescent men
waking the dead with the television
and screeching for us to play outside
I never knew my grandmothers love or never felt it
unwelcome on her stage
always playing the role of nuisance
not until this morning
this significantly raw occasion
just maybe I wasn't such a burden
but after that morning when night swiftly moves in
and tired eyes feel like old college roommates
I still wait for the melody of trains
I still creep upstairs to find my grandparents drinking coffee
and they tell me to go back to sleep

lets take a drive
to the country
read stories to the wind
find a tree
and take a nap

let go of our egos
close our eyes
throw ghosts like stones
write a book
about every mistake we've ever made
and sell it to a blind man

kiss under the backs of a myth
hold me close to your heart
and somewhere between the bed sheets
lose ourselves

find me in the fabric of sky
in the arch of night
I am the back bone of dusk

lets ferment
in the country
growing bitter
and sweeter
in the long months

harvest my songs
my poems are birds
and I have a mouth full of seeds

run your fingers through me like a river
you are a tall tall tree

I am just a man
looking for his beautiful bed
to one day be buried in

and you are a sliver line
in black clouds

take a ride with me
to a country
and grow our hair between the seasons

I have this broken faucet
and it seems to drip. . . On my heart. . .
and when I open my mouth
the echoes of emptiness
paint the walls with sorrow
in the room where we once laid
and those naked shadows
stood up from the floor

in your heart
a midlife storm
echoed of love and lies

I believed in your passion
and twisted myself inside it
gorged myself on you
naked flesh and naked fears

needed you
like you wanted me to
and filled your emptiness with my own
but when those storm clouds cleared
and you removed my hand
from that heart
I could see your body was a coat of razor's

I walked outside
hand's covered in blood
washed them in the rain
and only the stains are left to remind me
that if I don't fix this broken faucet
I just might drowned in a flood. . . Without you. . .

on strange days I wish I smoked cigarettes
I feel particularly weird on strange days
like my skin wants to vacation
on strange days I take the music box out of my pocket
then play it for my nostalgic neighborhood children
as they run through summer time sprinklers
feasting on cheeseburgers and french fries
humming to the key of my music box
drugged by this warm summer afternoon
on strange days I stare at blank sheets of paper and empty ashtrays
morning knocks on my window telling me it's time for bed
time for bed I say on this particularly strange day

I want to plant my seed of love

in your heart like soil

and watch it bloom in your sunny windowsill gaze

and drink your flaws like nectar

to be the hummingbird who dances nimbly on your finger tips

who puts your tenderness in the spotlight

who no longer needs to beat its wings one thousand times a minute

and to show off its bright feathers

the sky is a spiral stair case to heaven
im in love with the way your body bleeds into the wind
like dark rain clouds
let the thunder be another orchestra for our fears
panic attack in a minor

I was a tree made of bones
my veins are branches
with finger tips of leafs
I have tears as sweet as apples
you are a beautiful girl
with a summer dress made of flowers
come and sit beside me
i'll read you fairytales
like the ones your mother would to let you dream

I only want the same

god spoke to me in a dream
he told me
I was a burning tree
a feather in the wind that whispered  
and mumbled
of truth and bewilderment
a sleeping dog
and a black hot sun to scratch his belly

my backyard smelled like fresh cut grass
on my porch was a beehive
it buzzed as bright as yellow sun
but my father was god and he took care of us
in the front was a tree
where we played games of baseball cards and hide 'n' seek
down by the lake was a man
this man was named summer
he wore on his sleeve a grinning shadow of new day sunshine
as girls in pretty pink sweaters
dance on the edge of his finder tips
he would spin us tales from his days since past
I cut myself on roses I picked for the girl next door
my red smeared palms dripped raspberry colored droplets
upon pearl white bathroom floors
cleaned up before mother noticed the stains
open window breezes breath ghosts across sweaty upper lips
and in the streets
people with dilated eyes
stare down the changing colors of spring
and here I am ten years later
still amazed about how we once played like dinosaurs
in the light I saw her
waring a summer dress of blisters
lucidly daydreaming of dusk
she dances on orange bathed hilltops
with her lover of a thousand broken hymns
singing ring around the rosy to the people of crumbling ashes
and hidden behind smiles are razor sharp teeth
still waiting to find me there
but here we are still in spring
and the flowers have yet to bloom

a cloud of smoke fills the air in a patio filled with laughter
friends circle round as we being to **** the dark green grass
fire rise up as he inhales the smoke from the long glass stem
he holds it in until his lungs collapse
then spews it from his mouth like a dragon breathing fire

a long pause fills the air until his lips form a grin
and we knew that his experience would being
he screams out laughter like a hyena breathing nitrous oxide
his eyes shift back and forth as he barley holds himself
he stops with total control
**** he says

I could feel all eyes staring me down as I look down at this magic bottle
a bottle that will send me past reality
that will push the envelope of my mind's customary perception
and show me things that I couldn't even dream of
far past my imagination
I inhale

my vision shook
and my fingers twisted
I began to sink into chair that I sat in
I could feel waves
waves coursing thought my entire body
and I felt jiggly like jello

I burst into the sky
flying through the inner tubes that hung their motionlessly
I felt the scratches of rubber
and still heard the laughter of children
but they were no where to be found

some how I ended up in my chair
still sitting there
with a river of drool hanging from my gaping jaw

the sky began to sway back and forth
like waves in the ocean
I reached for the sky saying I want to swim in the ocean
the harder I tried the more it pulled me away
until the ocean disappeared
and I was left sitting there
next to my friend saying

*pass me the pipe

holding hands
we walk down an empty dirt road
I notice your pale green eyes staring back at me
we stop to shoot the breeze with the blue jays
who built their nests out of broken children toys
I laughed about how the jack-in-the-boxes have twisted smiles
we walk until the road curved into a street
with your eyes closed
I kissed your cheek
you blushed and laughed and teased my lips
we walked down to the creek
you found a flat purple stone shimmering in the sun
you skipped it along the calm blue water
I caught a fish
but he was too big for me to carry
I let him go
he said *thank you

he laid in a gutter of sorrow
sorrow feels like dirt

covers him
keeps him sheltered
feels likes home

home was a place of silence

the night it rained
water poured down these broken streets
in the midst of the gutter
he found burnt up library books

read the Egdar Allen Poe's
out loud to himself

the ink ran form the pages
covered his hands
in the black the soft whisper of poets

the sky was empty
so were his eyes

under the willow trees
he sleeps next to these books
covers them from rain
keeps them sheltered
feels at home

Love has marked the scars i've born
And from this light that we are torn
Shields a love that can't be found
As ashes lightly touch the ground

Angles sing in fields of glory
Close the book and **** the story
Like ***** fingers across my face
She is the thing I can't misplace

I squander this ability
To shape my own stability
Conscious of my fleeting time here
Only to tell you one thing my dear

Love is wasted on the youth
I only want you to know the truth
When your revelation has been found
You will fined me under the ground

I have nothing but a heart

and a jacket to keep me warm

the wood was too wet

and all we had were books

we read them

under burning candles

huddling close

enough to make us wanna kiss

all we did was read

like black
like sorrow
she comes twisting like a grape vine
up legs
to the edge of my finger tips
she is dressed
in a jacket made of skeletons
peering through the rib cage
was a heart
glowing like the tips of so many knives
like so many violent ways
to caress me
drink my blood like holy water
twist my guts like a wet towel
I am staring at her shape
made a hand
opened her jacket like a coffin
so I myself could see
that she has flesh
and blood
and weakness

I was a country dreaming of grass
you laid down next to me

gas can in one hand
lighter in the other
wanting to show me what violence looks like

gathered my thoughts
walked deeper into to the trees

you burnt my image in the grass
screamed out my name
burned through your throat
consistent with shards of glass

in the forest I met a spider

there is a man walking
carrying an Axe

destroys his home
the spider is crying

I would too
but I did not want to show him
I am more afraid of him
then he is of me

their movements were blurry
children on the playground
on far away islands
they're still taking boat rides there
on their wings
and dreams
through fields and seas
to be with them
I dreamt of the flower
and a handful of rain to water it
their smiles were endless
their laughter still full with wonder
and their cheeks rose colored and full of grapes
I dreamt of this place
so strange
like gold
like sun never heard of night
I'm still trying to hold on to it
this childlike wonder
slips so easily through my fingers
dances like fire
like passion in the writer
and the water that fills his eyes
every time he understands little by little what love means
I dreamt of this place  
and did not know where to find it
where the flowers still grow
and so does my imagination
maybe it still is
and I can one day find my way back to it
if I ever do
I hope it will teach me something
about beauty
then I can teach that something to you

the grass was wet that night
it shimmers
beneath the soft glow
and a faint echo
from far across the field
calls out to me
reminds me of a poem

I cannot remember if I read it or heard it
all I know is that it is familiar
like the taste of water
a gust of oxygen
and the smell of night

the voices grew louder
something is in the orchard tonight

the creek still sleeps
so do the dogs
I grab my flashlight
headed towards the noise
under the wet hot night
even I still shiver

when I see the glow of eyes

1.
your body was a canvas
I swallowed paint brushes
of reds and blues
I have purple skin
I try to draw the things inside of me
my quite heart
and jagged bones
cutting their way from out of me
your body was a canvas
I tired to paint its beauty

2.**
I kissed your rain
as we watched the colors drip from our skin
and fill the cracks of the sidewalks
quietly smoothing out the edges of our souls
with every slip and every drip of tongue
GOD! I want to know if your breast plate can scream like Kurt Cobain
or if your fingers are piano keys
and every time you hold me I swear I can hear Beethoven's
Moonlight Sonata

3.
in that rain
we tried to wash the color off our skin
and shutter amidst the pale
but the color was too bright
and this love
too warm.

a man walked up to me the other night on the bus
he came up to me and said "love is a triangle."
we may dance in circles
but we fit like triangles
and we see through rectangles
ever watching through are built in TV's called eyes
and these eyes have seen many things
but never before have they seen a thing like girls
and they may look through rectangles
but they see diamonds
forever wanting what they never got
always dreaming of something better
but I know my eyes
they look through arrows
forever trying to fine true love
but this man standing in front of me saying
love is a triangle
and as humans we are half's
half's without wholes
and as we try to lines the pieces up just right
he tells me
humans are half's but two half's don't make a triangle
what makes a triangle?
as I walked upon these broken streets
I think of a girl sleeping soundly in her bed
tossing and turning to the rhythm of nightmares
I stand gazing into the darkness
past the trees and stars
with my eyes shut tight
I feel as if I walk a fine line between death and insanity
is everyday just one step closer to death?
with my road twisting with mistakes
like she twists in and out of books
looking for answer to her unwritten question
not knowing weather her life curves unto the sea
or drown's in the wake of the ocean
and me just a man watching body's float down a stream
seeing the water before me
only seeing what they tolled me to see
what they told me water was before I ever had a mind
like my father before me and his father and his
so, is it all just a lie?
is water really water?
what is pain?
and why dose it hurt?
is the sky really blue?
what makes blue, blue, anyway?

I did not stop to stare at the angles  
didn't need to, my mother did. She waits slowly  
like they can hear her, praying louder  
screaming like god was on fire  
that he was, I was too. He knows me  
like a son, like a ghost  
I was on fire  
my belly full of water  
I'd drink glass after glass not spilling a drop  
not wasting any on my cheeks
fat with the gulps  

my father watched over my mother  
she was a flower  
a soft dandelion amongst roses  

when I was young I would seek out the night  
and count the stars
as far away as they were  
at ten seems so close
too close to touch
until my farther yelled for me to come home
either it was too late
or he loved me too much

when I was older
no one told me to play it safe  
I played with lions  
we ate dreams like they were apples  
pluck another from the tree  
god isn't looking

you came slithering in my room
dressed in mysterious shapes

finding dark corners to play in
whispering magical thoughts of illusion

you shake the soft spot of my foundation

I fallowed you down by the lake
where you show me that the water is really green

you caught an odd colored fish
and ripped the meat from its bones

you showed me it was nothing but the skeleton of my dead grandma
lost upon my last fading memory

in the woods we found messages carved into trees

they have been blackened by the souls of dead lovers
hard to read
we try to decode their passion

what destruction lies behind beauty's door?
so mysterious that they were forgotten before ever written

we walked upon these empty roads for days
losing all signs of amity

you stopped where the hills ended and said:
love is a perilous journey of all sun and no rain
when rainbows are destruction to sad faces
how can I ever find happiness?

she kissed my lips then said:
my kisses are like land mines

tick, tick, tick, your heart stops.

my shaking bones fell to the floor
as I watched her vanish into the thick mist

I came upon a bare oak tree
still chard from its last message
I chipped away the ashes and carved
*happiness is only the beginning