she sleeps
the moon was her mother
telling her bedtime stories
and I
was a night light

let the monsters slip
back into the imaginations
and we shall sleep

tonight
god holds us like blanket

the white sheets warp you like a ghost
I was her ghost
her light

shining only to love her
only so she can sleep
again and again and again
peaceful

that she was

her dreams
they cry
but she still breaths

undisturbed
though she maybe

people do this
they lie and steal
they bleed and feel
they destroy and create
they love and hate

people do this
they cheat and deceive
they loose and grieve
they are martyrs and dreamers
they are believers and schemers

people do this
they look at the stars and wonder
who made the sky?
and who made the ocean?
who made me?
and who made you?

people do this
and even though these people hurt you
you're still alive
and you're going to meet people as alive as you are
people who are alive as children when they cry
and people who are still asking themselves
why are we here?
where do we go when we die?
will humans ever fly?
like birds migrating to warm locations and sunny skies

people do this
they look for god in a book
and some see what others overlook
their hearts all pump and push
and sweat drips form their lips when they are hot

and when someone throws a rock in your ocean
don't be discouraged
even if the waves seem like hurricanes
and you feel there is no hope
and the feeling of them stopping seems like a lifetime

all waves settle
and you will feel as calm as an infant cradled in your mother's arm's
wrapped in your blanket of solitude
shielded from this world
peacefully dreaming your endless thoughts of happiness, new lovers, and warm foods

people do this
they can be ignorant and selfish
and never see anyone past there own existence
but we are all people
we are all the same
and even though we all have our differences
we still have one body, one mind, one heart, and one soul
and we all deserve a second chance

my tears are not gods
they're not gallons or buckets
but just a few kept in a vile labeled with your name
my tears are not measured by pain
but happiness
you give this black shrouded existence reason
in photos we are juxtaposed
our faces fit like puzzle pieces
your vary beauty blinds me
white lights stretched across patterns of blue and gold
your skin is like soft flower petals
lightly caressing my forearm
I tremble so hard it gives me heart palpitations
your eyes are as intense as fire
you burn the hair from my flesh
leaving me naked and fearless
standing in your wake
you engulf me like the ocean
in your shadow I can not breath
I feel as if I'm washed up on an island
you picked me up and held me
crying like children in my arms
I pushed back the hair from your eyes
and told you:
*I will always be here for you

your eyes
cut me in two
split
just below
the rib cage
all that I am
spills
on to the floor
like scattered sheets of paper
written in
my terrible
half-child
half-god
gibberish

come into this
breath the night
hold me close
your static bones give me electric shivers
my spine kisses you back
hold me close
come into this

the thunder cried sadness
over the walls it echos
moved across the sky never to be seen
you are here with me
hold me close, come closer
come into this

lights painted the room
you dug yourself deep into the cavity where my heart was
you would have stayed there until morning
but my cat let you in
the light patter of rain enclosed our body's
it sang you to sleep with its lullaby
you held me close
we didn't see the stars but we felt them
looking down
holding us close
we walked into this
breathed its night
we are the thunderstorms
and nothing can hurt us
you held me close

I awoke in the morning
found drops of water scattered across my window
they filled with dawn
shot a rainbow across my chest
I looked towards you
you smiled back towards me

he laid in a gutter of sorrow
sorrow feels like dirt

covers him
keeps him sheltered
feels likes home

home was a place of silence

the night it rained
water poured down these broken streets
in the midst of the gutter
he found burnt up library books

read the Egdar Allen Poe's
out loud to himself

the ink ran form the pages
covered his hands
in the black the soft whisper of poets

the sky was empty
so were his eyes

under the willow trees
he sleeps next to these books
covers them from rain
keeps them sheltered
feels at home

a man walked up to me the other night on the bus
he came up to me and said "love is a triangle."
we may dance in circles
but we fit like triangles
and we see through rectangles
ever watching through are built in TV's called eyes
and these eyes have seen many things
but never before have they seen a thing like girls
and they may look through rectangles
but they see diamonds
forever wanting what they never got
always dreaming of something better
but I know my eyes
they look through arrows
forever trying to fine true love
but this man standing in front of me saying
love is a triangle
and as humans we are half's
half's without wholes
and as we try to lines the pieces up just right
he tells me
humans are half's but two half's don't make a triangle
what makes a triangle?
as I walked upon these broken streets
I think of a girl sleeping soundly in her bed
tossing and turning to the rhythm of nightmares
I stand gazing into the darkness
past the trees and stars
with my eyes shut tight
I feel as if I walk a fine line between death and insanity
is everyday just one step closer to death?
with my road twisting with mistakes
like she twists in and out of books
looking for answer to her unwritten question
not knowing weather her life curves unto the sea
or drown's in the wake of the ocean
and me just a man watching body's float down a stream
seeing the water before me
only seeing what they tolled me to see
what they told me water was before I ever had a mind
like my father before me and his father and his
so, is it all just a lie?
is water really water?
what is pain?
and why dose it hurt?
is the sky really blue?
what makes blue, blue, anyway?

the world was a pop-up book
and I was a child
sleeping in the sun

these shadows still hold me
but somedays
I can still hum out loud to myself

I can not tell you or show you these dreams
only sing them
so loud
that on good days
I lose all thats left of my voice

I still am struggling
to hear what my insides say
and pretend that these ghosts don't shake me
so I can learn to talk to people again

and as the music comes
to rip these ghosts from my body
I still remember how I could once talk to you

tell you my dreams
my fears
let them speak and scream and breath

find their way
from out of these shadows
and into the sun
so bright

I drew you a portrait of my heart
I put it in your back pocket without you knowing
one night you found it while you cried yourself to sleep
you didn't know what to do with it so you framed it but that didn't work
you tried singing to it but that didn't work
you put that heart on a cutting board
the knife of your love cut it into small bite size pieces
you seasoned it with fresh ground angst
then swallowed it whole
my love tasted like strawberries
my seeds grew gardens in your stomach
the wild flowers grew rapidly
pushing themselves out your mouth
covering you in the dark purple flowers
you dug yourself into the earth
with our seeds we grew a tree taller than any tree in the forest
we swayed soundly against the breeze
our leaves kissed clouds
birds sat upon our tree branches
singing songs like angels
pecking their notes across our bark
our limbs grew fruit and they fell to the floor
their seeds planted themselves into the earth and grew into twigs
we caught the spiders that tried to build their webs upon them
until the love birds carried them away
then we let our rings twist into our core
a man with black silk robes came to the forest
he cut us down with his icy cold fingers
dragged us through the fields of sorrow
tossed us in a wood chipper
then grounded us into paper
that paper was sold to a mother
that mother gave that paper to her son
the son met a girl with the most prettiest name
they walked through forests that they didn't understand
picking the purple flowers that grew there
he wanted to show her how much he cared about her
so he drew her a picture of his heart

I held my hand up towards the wind
the birds danced around each finger tip
singing their songs
like tears and shivers
it crumbles all around me
my heart turns gray
lingered on your beautiful music
I was the thundercloud
drifting through rain
feeding myself by the handfuls
I was at the corner of you
standing in the middle
when the world came to a stop
I screamed out to you
wishing you would say anything to me

I handed you a flower
told you
this is my whole body

you planted it in the garden
around your lungs

and pretend like it didn't have the same name
or sang the same songs
the same ones I use to sing

on the nights you try not to hear them
it still makes you ponder
on how much
those flowers still haunt you

or how little
you wish you would sing
out loud...

he sits at a wooden desk
with a candle
and a thought between his teeth
he has no room for
the pictures
caught in the wrinkles of his bed sheets

outside
he can hear the howl of the moon
and the creatures
that dwell
underneath its sliver skin

he opens the window
to let in the rain
that holds
between its fingers
damp cloths

and the pain of her
is carved
in the side of his desk

he climbed outside
to be
another
black figure

in the rain he howled
and ran like an animal
scaring the forest
the trees

bites his tongue
as hard as he could

wipes the blood off in the grass

peels back the sorrow
from his dark skin
as the rain
clean his bones

he climbs back though the window

in his room
where he is cold
and wooden

my grandparents lived on the side of a mountain
to the west a coast and in-between a railroad track
in the mornings, I would lay
stationed in my grandfather war cot
it is soaked the tears and blood he shed for this country
I was too young to understand this
I am only waiting for the train
my dog barks and growls at the rattling picture frames
of the locomotives clackety warble
I crept upstairs to find my grandparents having coffee
my grandmother a white plump cigarette
my grandfather a gentle grey bear
a toy carousel waiting for me
I sat under a dim table lamp
moving the carousel around with my fingers
watching the horses twirl and my dizzy boyish gaze
sparkle at the wonder of my grandparents
who finally want me around
who finally asked me to sit with them
as they have their quiet morning
I was not always so quiet
when my brother was awake we would throw rocks
and sneak into my grandfather shop to peek at his gun collection
he did not like this
my grandmother never had the patients for rambunctious adolescent men
waking the dead with the television
and screeching for us to play outside
I never knew my grandmothers love or never felt it
unwelcome on her stage
always playing the role of nuisance
not until this morning
this significantly raw occasion
just maybe I wasn't such a burden
but after that morning when night swiftly moves in
and tired eyes feel like old college roommates
I still wait for the melody of trains
I still creep upstairs to find my grandparents drinking coffee
and they tell me to go back to sleep

I want to plant my seed of love

in your heart like soil

and watch it bloom in your sunny windowsill gaze

and drink your flaws like nectar

to be the hummingbird who dances nimbly on your finger tips

who puts your tenderness in the spotlight

who no longer needs to beat its wings one thousand times a minute

and to show off its bright feathers

lets take a drive
to the country
read stories to the wind
find a tree
and take a nap

let go of our egos
close our eyes
throw ghosts like stones
write a book
about every mistake we've ever made
and sell it to a blind man

kiss under the backs of a myth
hold me close to your heart
and somewhere between the bed sheets
lose ourselves

find me in the fabric of sky
in the arch of night
I am the back bone of dusk

lets ferment
in the country
growing bitter
and sweeter
in the long months

harvest my songs
my poems are birds
and I have a mouth full of seeds

run your fingers through me like a river
you are a tall tall tree

I am just a man
looking for his beautiful bed
to one day be buried in

and you are a sliver line
in black clouds

take a ride with me
to a country
and grow our hair between the seasons

your breast plate is beautiful

your eyes a poem

your fingers are tall cigarettes

your belly omnipotent

your skin is a holy place

of all holy places
that are locked without a key
and like most holy places are
still shake me when I walk across them

bare feet
fist clenched

I haven't felt in days.

Forgetting to set fire to hoops I jump through.

Thoughts of you like clouds of smoke on the horizon.

Never catching that sunset.

And you Night, so feeble.

Your womb is the only comforting thing I remember.

of nights beating heart
and eyes that peek through the shadows

of world and people to love it
just to feel the sun

the days gorge themselves on water
and hold back black rain clouds

to breath the warm sky of life
and days that make hands time couldn't read

to look away naps
as we escape them from our dreams

Love has marked the scars i've born
And from this light that we are torn
Shields a love that can't be found
As ashes lightly touch the ground

Angles sing in fields of glory
Close the book and **** the story
Like ***** fingers across my face
She is the thing I can't misplace

I squander this ability
To shape my own stability
Conscious of my fleeting time here
Only to tell you one thing my dear

Love is wasted on the youth
I only want you to know the truth
When your revelation has been found
You will fined me under the ground

my nights are spent alone
I find myself more at peace
when I speak quietly to it
some nights
sleep finds ways to elude me
other times
my pillow can hold me like my mother
I can dream four dreams a night
and remember them as one
I like to pretend my guitar is a diary
and the stings my pen
I imagine pictures of you dancing on clouds
so far away from my bedroom
it is small
you are just a crush
and I now know why they call it that
I now know why I sleep alone
and why I no longer talk out loud

in the fields I hear music
the night holds within me something deep
as if I've forgotten how to smile
sometimes my back hurts
the sun rests on my shoulder
some day's he's too big for me to carry
other times the days feel small
and flat like a quarter
tossed into the air
we leave bad and good days to chance
in better days
I've kissed pretty girls under neighborhood bridges
the amber sun at dusk
is even more beautiful glistening off the trees in the shade
walking by the apple trees
we eat their fruit
god hums to himself loudly
my hands clinched tight
he looks down on us
so confused
our fistfuls of rage
we sing in key with them
in the fields we hear that music playing
and still to this day
it leaves us speechless

we sat on a bench next to an old couple
who's probably been in love forever
we walked in the grass
next to people walking dogs and little kids catching frogs
and I felt just like those kids

I felt innocent and vulnerable and I didn't care about anything
and those butterflies could have carried me for miles

I looked at her eyes
I looked at her shoes
I looked at her lips
I felt all the blues

I wanted to grab her sides but I didn't
I wanted to hold her close but I didn't
I wanted to tell her I love her but I didn't
I wanted to show her how I felt but I didn't

we laid in the grass with the wind blowing past
through the trees and past our knees
and I knew this wouldn't last
we listened to music with the sun shinning just right
I can still remember that window of light
and still to this day if I hear the right tune
I sit and pray and hope for the moon

but I don't want to think here alone in the dark
for too long I've been here, for too long I've stayed
for too long I've sat here and always played

played the songs that no one will hear
wrote the letters that no one will read
wrote the poems of my imagination
because through these words my heart does bleed
bleeds and breaths
and all I wanted was to show the world

because we all want are imaginations to be real
and feel the things that we wanna feel
and believe that are dreams could come true
and show the world that we feel more than we show
it's true in me and it's true in you

now I see her with a whole new life
and every time I do my heart corrodes
every time I do my heart explodes
I can't look at these eyes anymore
but when I do I drop to the floor
and only in my brain is where I see myself
going insane
removing from the plain

the plain of myself
and the plain of my soul
but I remember back and my life was not dull

so I say
thank you for the time
thank you for the rhyme
thank you for showing me that this world is still wonderful
and everyday is a gift
and everyday is another day that I can say

*I was there *******... I was there

you are the one that I can hide inside of
you're the only place I know where I can get away from this world
and you shield me from the nightmares that are enclosed in it
the ghost of your heart lies soundly in my belly
and every time I look in your eyes it hatches into butterflies
then lines my belly with silver

when I touch your skin your body shivers
I rest my head upon your shoulders
whispering into your ears, gently singing love songs
in the midst of your eyes I feel small
but I feel as if I could touch the moon
but I cannot touch upon of who you've loved before me

or if you even love me at all

for I have never told you
your skin is as soft as a rose and your heart glows
glows inside the darkness of my mind

I don't know of any other place to go
for your life has purified me
and I'm still trying to find my way back home

because I cannot hide inside you anymore