my backyard smelled like fresh cut grass
on my porch was a beehive
it buzzed as bright as yellow sun
but my father was god and he took care of us
in the front was a tree
where we played games of baseball cards and hide 'n' seek
down by the lake was a man
this man was named summer
he wore on his sleeve a grinning shadow of new day sunshine
as girls in pretty pink sweaters
dance on the edge of his finder tips
he would spin us tales from his days since past
I cut myself on roses I picked for the girl next door
my red smeared palms dripped raspberry colored droplets
upon pearl white bathroom floors
cleaned up before mother noticed the stains
open window breezes breath ghosts across sweaty upper lips
and in the streets
people with dilated eyes
stare down the changing colors of spring
and here I am ten years later
still amazed about how we once played like dinosaurs
in the light I saw her
waring a summer dress of blisters
lucidly daydreaming of dusk
she dances on orange bathed hilltops
with her lover of a thousand broken hymns
singing ring around the rosy to the people of crumbling ashes
and hidden behind smiles are razor sharp teeth
still waiting to find me there
but here we are still in spring
and the flowers have yet to bloom

people do this
they lie and steal
they bleed and feel
they destroy and create
they love and hate

people do this
they cheat and deceive
they loose and grieve
they are martyrs and dreamers
they are believers and schemers

people do this
they look at the stars and wonder
who made the sky?
and who made the ocean?
who made me?
and who made you?

people do this
and even though these people hurt you
you're still alive
and you're going to meet people as alive as you are
people who are alive as children when they cry
and people who are still asking themselves
why are we here?
where do we go when we die?
will humans ever fly?
like birds migrating to warm locations and sunny skies

people do this
they look for god in a book
and some see what others overlook
their hearts all pump and push
and sweat drips form their lips when they are hot

and when someone throws a rock in your ocean
don't be discouraged
even if the waves seem like hurricanes
and you feel there is no hope
and the feeling of them stopping seems like a lifetime

all waves settle
and you will feel as calm as an infant cradled in your mother's arm's
wrapped in your blanket of solitude
shielded from this world
peacefully dreaming your endless thoughts of happiness, new lovers, and warm foods

people do this
they can be ignorant and selfish
and never see anyone past there own existence
but we are all people
we are all the same
and even though we all have our differences
we still have one body, one mind, one heart, and one soul
and we all deserve a second chance

new lovers meet underneath the glaze of stars
the moon shines reflections in pools of sorrow
swimmers swim in the paint of fresh canvasses
drawing their imaginations through still fruit
seeds make fruit like humans make baby's
always afraid that one day we'll be eaten
but one day we will fly on our own
dropping feathers everywhere we go
leaving behind memories unforgotten
we are the finger prints on the murderer's axe
gone but traces of us are still left behind
never speaking but always thinking
never wanting but always getting
the painful scars of remembering
these scorch marks on my back are seared deep
like the raw welts upon my heart
every pump is another explosion of life
this life is a dark silhouette of a man
standing in the shadow of god
unable to find my way out of the garden
arms stretched out looking for any sign of life
I ran my fingers against unseen thorns
my bleeding hands are like strawberries
I remember a time when we once caught spiders
let them go and stomped them into the dirt
ran back to the house and played with my father's gun
I was six years old
we didn't know what death meant
to little to understand these complex feelings
my best friend cried when his cat left
I have never felt death
not my whole life
even when she broke my heart
I felt like I could never carry this world with out her
my spine would crumble underneath the weight
I wasn't a doctor so I couldn't heal it
there are somethings in this world that duck tape can't fix
I thought that night my heart would give
but I was far from death
far from ever knowing what it means to die

feel the push and pull of the river and tides
feel the waves crash against your skull
but be careful for the angle aside
just remember that shes just an illusion

blood flows like an over flowing river
with cut up fingers and scattered memories
hard to distinguish dreams from reality
hear the echo of a screaming blade
it cuts the wings like a devils smile
disarmed and hopeless

falling towards the river like a fallen angle
juxtaposed against the whistling wind

shes the savior of a worthless human
found the light again beneath the stone
hard as rock with a freezing inside
bury the demons underneath your breath

shes the one who'll help you reach your halo
pull it down and tie it 'round your neck

don't believe the whispered lies she tells you
its the only way to get you off the ground
lick the fire before she burns the forest
or you'll never find your way back home
tell yourself that shes only human
before she eats away your last bit of stone

the blood flows like an over flowing river
but remember, it's only a cut

it's only a cut

I drew you a portrait of my heart
I put it in your back pocket without you knowing
one night you found it while you cried yourself to sleep
you didn't know what to do with it so you framed it but that didn't work
you tried singing to it but that didn't work
you put that heart on a cutting board
the knife of your love cut it into small bite size pieces
you seasoned it with fresh ground angst
then swallowed it whole
my love tasted like strawberries
my seeds grew gardens in your stomach
the wild flowers grew rapidly
pushing themselves out your mouth
covering you in the dark purple flowers
you dug yourself into the earth
with our seeds we grew a tree taller than any tree in the forest
we swayed soundly against the breeze
our leaves kissed clouds
birds sat upon our tree branches
singing songs like angels
pecking their notes across our bark
our limbs grew fruit and they fell to the floor
their seeds planted themselves into the earth and grew into twigs
we caught the spiders that tried to build their webs upon them
until the love birds carried them away
then we let our rings twist into our core
a man with black silk robes came to the forest
he cut us down with his icy cold fingers
dragged us through the fields of sorrow
tossed us in a wood chipper
then grounded us into paper
that paper was sold to a mother
that mother gave that paper to her son
the son met a girl with the most prettiest name
they walked through forests that they didn't understand
picking the purple flowers that grew there
he wanted to show her how much he cared about her
so he drew her a picture of his heart

I sat in the damp grass underneath the full moon
looking up at the stars wondering how small we must be to the atoms in my fingernail
then the spiders awoke from their long sleep and began to glow blue
the sight was unbelievable like the falling of the first snow
the glow from the spiders lit up the night floor like the moon lights the sky
I crawled next to the spiders and scooped one up in my hands
Hello little spider, what's your name? - Boris.
Boris, I like that. Say little spider, can I ask you something? - Sure
Why do you glow? - We all glow, not just us spiders
but we spiders know how to show it
we make webs like painters, paint, paintings
we eat flies so we don't die like you eat cows to become fat
we love like you only we die because we only need one pure moment of love to be happy
then we are eaten, so that our children can be fed, so that they can live a better life then the one that I had
I sacrifice myself for my children
we glow because we want to show the world we are beautiful, not monsters.
Boris, we don't glow because we are the monsters
we paint these paintings because someone else has already painted them
and we feed off the cows because we want food we don't need
we use people for love because we only want a little thing I like to call ***
you **** for a cause, we **** for the enjoyment and the pleasure
we're the monsters, Boris, not you
and this world, Boris, I'm still trying to understand
trying to figure out why this world spits on you for trying
why every time we learn something new we have to better than everyone else
because in are minds we are programmed to feel that being better then other people is cool
and that being better looking will get you more women
and being better at guitar will get you more money
Boris, we are creatures who squander our ability because the media is looking for the next big thing
we play songs that other people have written and say that we have talent
but even you can see, Boris, that we take life for granted
and I believe that a child's drawing is better then any artist
because at least it's creative and not diluted by what the media calls cool
and their minds are pure and free and not concerned about what's cool
because they're to **** concerned about the colors of crayons
and their egos are not measured by the tears they shed
Boris, I'm still trying to slow this world down
and not forget what it means to be a person
to be free and let my fingers rest upon the girl I don't want to leave behind
so I can have her for just a little bit longer
but I must be going Boris for the hour is getting late
and when I lay my head upon the tired hands of dawn
I shall look for my glow in the morning
*Goodnight

we lay like dirt
sitting peacefully under the dark night that sits heavy upon us
where the last star shines for you
we sat until our souls grew grass
and the hungry bugs came to feed upon our dead leaves
then our blood bleeds black unto the rivers
our grounds grew moons
which we climbed upon
reaching high into the sky
then plummeting into our oceans of blood
covering our body's in the darkness
feeling all the things of being alive
washing away all the bad memories that linger in our minds
waiting for only one scream to show everyone we have fears
and fingers open up my chest like a book
shaking the black beads of water from my skin
reading me like you read the bible
with my last passage saying
God is an angry child
I wiped the last drop of black from your face
staring deep into eyes that have made me dream since the moment I saw them
dreaming up wild conclusions of the end of the world
then the rain pored upon our heavy breathing chests
I touched your cheek
your face was icy cold from the cool wetness of the air
and the rain washed over us
discarding from us all our confusion
letting the feeling of discomfort wash down the empty streets
where we once walked upon writing are memoirs
and standing there after I burst into a flaming pyre of remembrance
I held your head upon my hand
trembling at your vary beauty
not knowing weather to stand or to kiss your lips
with my mouth opening and closing
opening and closing
until the darkness of the sky and coldness of the air began to snow
snowing like it would never stop until we've met
until I grew so tired of bugs that I scooped them up in a jar
and the crows that perched themselves upon the fence
swooped down and swallowed the whole jar
flying back into the night
we made snow angels that took hold of their shape
and blazed right into the sky
snatching up the crows
covering them whole until they burst into cylinders
then fluttered down like ashes
melting away all the snow
all the pieces of our souls were placed back into the earth
exposing the nights street
where mine and your lips finally touch