At Nineteen,
I bore witness to the live Birth of my Son.
He was adopted out via Open Adoption
to a very nice Family a few Hours away in Ukiah.
I'm still in contact with them, I get pictures every six Months
and I'm very happy to also be able to see Him every so many Months.

At Twenty,
I lost my Father. I found him on the floor and called 911. I paid for his Cremation the next day.
It was what he told me he wanted; his ashes are in a box in my room.
Perhaps even moreso than he was my "Father", he was by best Friend;
for better and for worse.

At Twenty-One;
my Girlfriend of Five Years, who was also Mother of the aforementioned Child, and I
broke up on Friendly terms. Now she lives about 200 miles away.
We're still cordial, and I'm glad we still speak.
Eternal Allies are rare to come by,
to say the least.

So far, Twenety-Two has been rather turbulently eventful, as well.
Between Family and their lack, personal choices and relationships,
and the furtherment of my Self as well as my expressive Capacities,
it's been a hell of a Twenty-Two so far,
to say the least.

All of these things leave me with an Understanding
that I cannot ever judge anyone, for I know not of their struggles
and that no One can ever truly judge anyone else,
for the same reason.

Through all of this, I feel evermore
that this Life is ******* great,
and that's no sarcastic remark:

Life
is a trippy and tumultuous Journey
and I'm thankful for this opportunity
to experience this Holiest of Realities, to say the least;
though it is a Lesson in Humility, to say the least.

And thus:

Thank you for reading my writings.
Thank you for taking time out to read what I have to bring forth.
Thank you for existing and expressing.

Blessings upon thy Paths;
wheresoever you've been
wheresoever you're going
thank you just for Being.

Please be your Self; you owe it to your Self,
for that is all you ever have, to say the least,
and so, once more:

*Blessings upon thy Path.

Every night you’d call
Sometimes it was just too much
I’d ignore you occasionally
Indulging in some one else’s touch
Begging you to hurt me
Your gaze heavy with pity and disgust
You would not cave to my pleas
Now I crave your sweet caress, your loving touch
You use to drowned me in your affection
Over bearing, pushing too deep
Now I beg for your attention
Any contact you bestow upon me
I acknowledge our broken states
But I’m begging don’t dismiss me
Our future still awaits

Shoveling Pseudoinformation to the Ignorant in the form of Speculation

When I was in school,
we would plant hundreds of seeds and
put them under lamps
until they grew
to be as long as our limbs.

I wish I
could move that fast now
and get the **** away from you.

If you pour enough money into it,
anything can be said to work.

we were in the back seat of his car the first time that he kissed me. it was sweet and it was young and it was innocent and i couldn't fully focus on it because i heard a song through the speakers on the dashboard and laughed about how wrong the lyrics were when i sang it to myself

take me down to paradise city,
where the tips of his calloused fingers softly run over the tops of mine because he is too shy to actually hold my hand;
                  where the air smells like the ocean and the sky is as bright as his eyes are when he's  
                  passionate about something;
   where the woods are always empty but we still run through them every
   wednesday night because those are the nights that his mother isn't home and his father still
   breaks out tequila and gin because he didn't get the daughter he wanted

oh, won't you please take me home?
and he better not ask me what my address is because he should know that a home is different than a house and my home can be found deep within the far away corners of his wandering mind, and in the valves in his heart which are accompanied by a slow heart rate because he's built like an athlete even though he's too timid to try out for football like his brother did

people usually name islands in the caribbean when asked about paradise, but if the textbook definition is a place of a extreme beauty and happiness, my answer will always be honest when i say that my paradise is anywhere i can get lost with him,

like the back seat of his car