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Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
How to get through the day.

Breathe In.
Out.
In.
Out
How to make it through
            those moments.

Look forward.
Forward.
Forward.
Forward.
Never look back at what
           you thought you wanted
Pounding heart.
Sweating palms.
Nervous shaking.

Racing thoughts.
Mixed up words
Confusing actions.

Thoughts of you.
Smiling at your picture.
My conclusion.
*I like you.
One that includes the simple things.
One that shows the little things I want.
One that tells the world who I am.
One that says that I'm not normal.

In my dreams,
I spend hours wrapped in you,
wrapped in your words.

In those dreams,
I lay for hours talking to you,
lost in your arms.
Now that I have your voice
on a loop in my memory,
I'm afraid to fall back into
that silence that plagued me
for so long.

It would be too easy to let
it all fall apart, to let the
silence seep back into my life,
to go back to the past
and let it be.

The only problem is the pain.
Upon hearing your voice,
my heart got a little lighter
and I started to smile with no
effort at all.

To be in silence with you,
knowing the magic effect
your voice can have on me
would be almost too much
for me to bear.
It would be a shame to let the story end when it's only just beginning.
My house will be filled with the things that I love;
Goldfish, dandelions,
Green sofas, Greek mythology,
Books of psychology.
Books. Lots of books with lots of words.
Multiple copies of the really good books too.
All stacked to the ceiling
on bookshelves adequate to
The height of the house
All equivalent to
My love of the place I’ll call home.
A sock monkey here or there,
pillows and throw blankets.
Pictures of Lake Louise, and a souvenir
If I’m ever lucky enough to go there.
I will print poetry, frame it, put it on my walls.
My walls will be yellow gray and blue,
I will have a boombox with speakers that go BOOM
(but at night it will sing me to sleep
with many sweet lullabies).
And it’s music will fade to the sound of voices
Voices of people I love and admire
Who can walk through the door,
of the place I aspire
To make my own,
To share and not waste
With the precious presence of others
And their ideas
And hopes and dreams
So if you aren't a thing I love,
You have to leave.
I’ll probably have a lot of lamps too.
And all of my cigarettes taste
stale since you've become
concerned with my health.
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