Fireflies keep me awake,
deep nights unfold
with countless lights,
I wonder, and wonder,
O' fireflies with flickering lights,
have you found your knights,
is the night warm enough
for your lights to work the magic
to catch the perfect mates?

Global warming, so many hazards
suppose the nights are not warm enough
for the chemicals to work
and fireflies did not get their lights,
will that mean the death
no mating and
the end of fireflies?

I sit awake, night grows deep
staring out at the waning moon,
the garden wears a girdle,
a fairy girdle of winking lights,
the fireflies go high and low
I hope, just hope
this summer is rich in romance
for the fireflies to find love.

Summer without them
would be loveless warmth,
for He and I join our sights
weaving our love story
watching the fireflies
love each other
with soft, flickering lights.

Every summer a blessing,
a return to paradise,
fireflies and romance
He and I
new wings to love
A toast to Life!

Oh, no i didn't sit to write poetry
but those gushing feelings inside me
just wanted a way out.

This is no poem
nothing fictional
I mean,
but just to say
in total honesty,
i love you!
Writing the 'i' in smaller case
for
the straight line is you and me
uniting in the dot,
that is like
love in full circle.

This is no poem
its just to say
i love you,
you see.

Its a full-moon night
silver light drapes bare trees
where snow has left its lacy touch
the ground covered in whitish glow
a coyote howls far
unable to contain its joy
of so beautiful a night.

Its a full moon night
nocturnal world aglow
in fiery light,
fairies in silver wing fly,
I look on,
eyes stare in wonder
and
my heart is empty.

Today's poem is letting friends know
I've taken a new vow
In a book called, "Red, Blue, Purple"
Available on Amazon
With words of heart
Wanting to touch other hearts
If they open the doors
And let me in.

Note: My publication is really on Amazon.com: Red, Blue, Purple by Tulip Chowdhury

I lay awake last night
listening to the windchime
I knew for sure
it was telling tales
singing songs
and some poems too.
At times loud
at times soft
it talked and talked.

will the windchime be ringing
tonight, again?

Maybe I should be dressed
to join windchime and her friend!
Ah, yes I will listen
for the howling sound,
the first gusts of wind
and rush out
when it joins its friend.

On lonely nights
wind chime is my friend.

Wonder why the hell I was born anyway?
Parents gave up to the orphanage
The orphanage sent to foster homes
One by one, no one really wanted me
And so I remained the "unwanted one".

Unhappiness hit, full to the being
Life was not worth living
And so I committed suicide.

But lo, even God didn't want me
Someone found me just before the last breath
Doctors rushed in, I continued to live
God saved me, because He didn't want me
And so I am forever wondering
Where really do I belong?

I need, very badly need
a shoulder to lean on
a shoulder to cry on
a wet shoulder to make more wet
and a shoulder that is a permanent place
no matter how wet I make it
will still hold my place,
will not offer the hanky
will just hold me
while I lean on.

Burnt to ashes
how do I spark my flame?
Perhaps, embers somewhere
still breathe
and so I write again?

Bonfires and wildfires
people see so well
but the fire in my heart
remains unseen.

If you ever come along
and empty the sea on me,
I'd would still be burning
till he came,
a drop of tear from his eyes
is all I need
to douse the raging fire
deep inside.

On my usual flight
from Dallas to Boston,
I saw her,
a perfect belle
a white summer dress
red roses in print
Alfred Dunner perhaps?

Lips pouting,vermillion red
delicate nose, dark sun glass
a Gucci, I could see,
scent of Nina Ricci perfume
reached my nose
"Lucky lady", I told myself.

Me in modest clothes
wondered how happy she was,
sure as looks do tell;
diamond ring
perfectly poised,
commuting to work place
has a good job for sure!

On a sudden impulse
glanced at her face,
and was just in time to see
large drops of tears
slide lazily
from behind the dark glasses
roll over the cheeks
and fall on the lap,
and then another
and another.

Yet she sat still
faintest tremor on the lips
I  imagined a volcano
erupting in her heart.

I looked at my faded skirt
and closed my eyes,
wondering, wondering;
joy and sorrow
elusive indeed,
where do they strike
how do they ****?

Termites, those invisible, destroyers
eating away, eating away
bit by bit, I can hear
slow and steady
gnawing away
so determined to hurt me
destroy the bit I have, only
this time its not wood
its flesh and soul
they eat away
bent on finishing me
my whole being.

Have you seen these termites:
that eat the inner being?

I write poems when I am happy
I write poems when I am sad

Laughter echoes with words of rhymes
Tears flow down cascading in verses,

Warmth of kisses are blended in stanzas
Love every way, speaks in sonnets.

Now I am numb, dried tears, laughter frozen
Numbness has erased all senses
Poems do not come anymore.

At the moment
I vision my heart,
it's a sterling's nest
where last spring
the  sterling had sat
all alone
while summer came
and still alone
and then came fall
still alone'
he flew to another land,
hoping to find
the mate of his heart
while snow and ice
plundered his empty nest.

Life's hourglass stands quiet;
        smiles and tears
             entwined
                    in
             moments,
     taking my whole life
in its incomplete continuation.

Sunlight seeps in
glass windows all
and yet with blinds drawn,
"click'..put on
the electric light,
gives a worthy feeling,
of course
sort of false pride!
The mirror reflects
a haunted look
insomnia
on the face,
mirror, mirror tell me true
so saying
put on more lipstick
more rouge and mascara
Nina Ricci perfume!

Toothpaste
Colgate advanced formula,
or else brushing futile
breakfast cereals
latest blends
tea labelled "Twining"
I-phone pocketed,
boutique shop clothes
stilettos clicking
you get started
feeling good
racing the sports car,
race as if
borrowed happiness
will escape,
its after all
everyday happiness
on a lucky credit card
older bills
still pending,
still pending!!
and yet
these everyday happiness
keeps you going!

Moonbeam falls on me
penetrates into heart
into soul
ti's full moon Love
I've sent the silver light
to where you are
in my soul
in my heart
we share, we share.

I let go of it all,
and now feel happy, so free
like a bird, that soars high
leaving its nest
to the wind's whim.
In the space it is
all by itself
but so happy,
I am sure
or else, why does it fly
so high, again and again?

Material things
make me stick to life,
they are
like chewed gum,
a peculiar pleasure in chewing
although sweetness gone,
seeking permanence in life.

I no longer possess
that owning attitude
to anything, near or far
in the heart have disowned
all greed of the heart
conditioned all desires
to say "no" to anything binding.
No chewing gums in my mouth!

Disowned everything binding,
Now I own life
it coils to me
we are lovers
in freedom alone.

Countless meteors falling

drifting, zigzagging down,

each, a part of someone

coming to me

through the infinity

a love that he was

and continues to be.

The difference is:

meteors today

are not only in my soul

but have come alive

in the sky as well.

Meteors mean

more than Earth's crossing

path of a comet,

it's someone coming to me.

I opened the floodgates
and let the tears flow.
Ribs in the ribcage
shreds of muscles
veins, tissues and bones
all that seemed to be massed
inside the *****
holding the pain, the hurt
all have to wash away
with all the floodgates open!

And yet they don't go
no matter how hard I cry
no matter how my being shakes
sobs and heaves,
I try to clean up
and yet those messed up feelings
won't wash up.

No crying, no tears , no anguish
no shouting, no grief
seems to  be enough.
Tell me what can I do
to erase those pains?

Have so many tear bottles
yet none can hold my tears,
they hold the watery drops
but not the reasons,
so why the tears bottles?

Blast it, they only add
add to more tears
that flow in the heart
who sees that tear ocean?

Dream catchers, ten of those
hang overhead
ten sizes, ten colors,
but no dreams come true,
the happy ones you know.

Dream catchers fail
and nightmares trail
all my daydreams,
I sleep on
hoping, dream catchers will catch
some cherished dreams
and put the nightmares
in the tear bottles,
the fears will be lost
in those false hopes
of finding meaning in unhappiness
in the tear bottles
while tears and dreams
play their game
in tears bottles and dream catcher's whims.

Its red light, have to stop
      car radio streaming in
             favorite Rihanna song
              ....found love in a hopeless place..
looking to right
        catch his intense gaze              
                a fraction, we're locked!
His blue eyes, my hazel
        ' I'd like to know
             me too..'our eyes say.
Honk...honk...
          our eyes unlock
               traffic light's yellow!
Wait, don't want to  miss
         Cupid's arrows!
             don't you think
                 we just had it all?
  But...oh!
  Traffic light is green,
      pressing accelerator
           he's turning left
   me right        
       hopes ditched!
             Traffic lights,
                 can't do this!
Hit highway
      no stopping
           car rushing, yet
hearts keep crying
          a dream of love        
              left to i-95?
Join Rihanna,
            as she sings
                      ..found love in a hopeless place....

How can I ever tell anybody,
how you murdered me,
without a single weapon,
without lifting a finger,
yet you killed me.

I'm dead inside,
burnt in my soul,
with fire without flame.

How can I tell
that the ME is cold and gone,
what proof I have
when people see,
I am whole outside?

Wind, you crazy playful wind
do you have to blow away
all the leaves
that will wither anyway
in this fall?

Stop kissing my face
stop tickling my neck
stop blowing my hair
stop playing with my eyes
or clinging to the body.

You can play with the leaves
the trees
as you please
but why me?
I am not your toy
to carry away
in the October wind!

At times in life
I shrink and expand
like Tom and Jerry,
once I'm big like a monster
and again like a poppy seed,
hidden forces changing me
heedless to my whims.

I begin to wonder
if life is like that cartoon
flipping images and so
like Tom and Jerry
will I be chasing forever
those big and small sizes
as life takes me
as it pleases?

Wait, what am I now
a poppy seed or monster?
Tom and Jerry chase each other
but the life that chases me
is too big
to fit into the screen,
but all the same
it makes me expand and shrink
and I join Tom and Jerry
bigger or smaller
on the screen
not sure if I fit in.

I am running, running
far away, far away
I want to go
leave behind all of these
please don't chase me
you, unhappiness
I am running away.

I am coming, coming
please stop a moment
let me catch up
I am running to you
you, happiness
I am coming to you.

But life, why so harsh be?
Why all the red signals
left, right, ahead and behind?
Now, where do I run to?

Life might have been easier
if childhood and youth
had accepted the truth;
things are imperfect
life is not permanent,
and so not spent time
on saying or writing
over and over
" Love is forever".

Now time moves on
and love dies
incomplete forms
while hopes bow to
countless deaths.

Delicious wind blowing,
snow melting
water falls,
drop
drop
and a crocus
rising head,
peeps
peeps;
hi
spring.

Life is too, too.... what?
No words...none that come
             to speak of demons, lost dreams
                       battling inside,
                         a world war
                             in the inner me!                        
                                
*****  YOU !, YOU  FAT  *** !

I know, in poem, a thing of beauty
I'm crossing set rules
So sorry my "Poemie"!

But the incredulity of it all:
           cannot be without
                  those words so perfect!

Don't worry, its all said
Under breath, a hiss only,
For I hope, really hope,
I still hold on to some sanity!

Is it some well known brand in tissues?
No, its the cheapest ones
Usually found in Dollar picks.

It's you I'm talking about
You were needed
I mean needed, not need
or will need,
And so you were used.

It was November  
Running nose, croupy cough
Irritating and unwanted things
Coming out of the body,
Had to be cleaned
With that tissue
Including unwanted feelings.

The tissue, too *****!
And when I threw it
In the bin
I felt as if it was you
I was done
It was used and discarded.
Like you.

Yesterday passed by
procrastination held the sail
and left the words in my mouth
left to be said.
Today I shall anchor
on a new shore,
but alas
I remember not
what memories had led me
to this distant harbor.



.

Contributed by Tulip Chowdhury

                                              See My Inner Being

See my inner being;
The soul that roams around
The heart that shares your life
All the tears and the smiles,
The doors are open
You can come and explore
And definitely you’ll find
A Me, that is full of empathy
Full of light to show you ways,
Willing to love
And reach out both hands,
When you are in doubts
To be there
Pointing out the right ways.

The outside self;
Is up to you to judge
But I would request
See my inside.
And then you decide
If you really want
To accept me
For what I am
And walk along
Stride by stride
Holding my hands
While two hearts
Beat as one!

Will you do that, just for once
And see my heart, for what I am?

This hotel has six levels,
Massive car parks
Sprawling floors for guests

That hospital has four levels,
The airport has three,
And the bus station too
Has its own levels
Level 1 and Level 2.

Boston railway station;
So many levels again,
Trains on Blue Line,
Trains on Red Line
Then clickety click,
Clickety click
to a big mall.
More levels to pick
To shop till one drops
From Level 1 to Level 4.

Wait,
I have a level too,
A level between rich and poor
Between richest and poorest
A middle class perhaps?
Or a lower or upper middle?

Ah, no, I fit into none
I wish I could find a new level
Just another level
That would make people mark
A level behind my status
A me, just a ME.

Door closed, windows shut
blinds drawn,
all quiet, though afternoon
seems like new moon.

Wakes that demon inside
serpents wrapped around,
bitterness, anguish
anger,f frustration
love gone bitter,
no, no, nothing is right!
Don't show me reasons
I see none, I'm okay
in my streaming tears,
why can't I shed enough
to empty this soul
to rid of these burdens?

Tears that I have shed
what do they hold?
Were they not enough?
More and more
they come, exhale grief'
grief inhale!

Ah, mirror
don't reflect this face
contoured with anguish
swollen eyes,
mouth so ugly
with silent screams!

So many calls
so many songs
yet I sit tight
howling inside
let me cry a little more
a little more!

Hot summer day
by the seaside,
dipped in the sea
waves come
rolling, rolling
breaking into surfs
spraying out high.

A drop of salty water
reaches my ears
goes deep
and I hear
the sea start a tale
an endless one
about mysteries in its deep,
countless life, flora and fauna
wrecked ships, drowned bodies
mermaids, dolphins, whales
octopuses, sea anemone and more
endless tales unfold.

I am lost on the land
captured by the sea
still telling me its tale.

Like wipers on windshield
we go left and right
alone or together
but never touch
even as rain pours
we just go
swish, swish
none listening to the other.

Same windshield
same car, yet
we are  far away
from each other,
speeding away
to a no where.

It was just one simple question
just asked
was it so hard to love me
as I am?
You stared into my eyes
and somewhere behind
you read my thoughts
and turned around.

Was it so hard to love me
as I am?
I had loved you
and made you mine,
embraced you as you are
why couldn't you love
what was really you
in my being?

It was just "US"
that you left behind.

Awakening was not left behind
in the last step taken,
its not coming ahead
in the walk forward,
it's right here,
right in this beat of my heart
in the blink of my eyes.

I am awakened
are you?

I couldn’t  find a place


Tremors of love made me shiver
I wanted the warmth of your love
In my utter desolation
I wanted you so badly!

And so I ran all the way
Puffing and panting
Short of breath
And yet the big dream
Of finding a place
To bury  my tear ridden face
In your *****
And listen to your heart beating
With the joy of our reunion.

I found you
In our usual meeting place
I ran, wanting to collapse
Into those beloved arms
But couldn’t,
They held someone else
In my place!

I am dying slowly
leaves fall, branches dry
and soon the trunk will hollow
and I will fall
my love, the wind calls.

Cracking, breaking
then a thundering crash
and I will be gone,
down on the earth
whispering to the grass
tales of love
from the wind.

Wind, my beloved
made love to me,
gentle and caring
rough or demanding,
but it was life
sharing his game of force
with arms wrapped around.

On that fateful night
he held me tight.
too tight, too many kisses
with bodies entwined
he raged and raved
exploring my being.

While the hurricane sang
in the name of love
he uprooted me
to carry me away
to be his, forever.

Now I die slowly
betrayed on the way
he left me tattered and torn.

But my lover comes
again and again
making love to another tree
just beside me,
how crazy love can be
I wonder as I fall.

Green eyes, blue eyes
and some dark
stare upwards
sleepless, up and long,
looking on, reflecting
hopes and dreams,
emotion wheels fly up
like invisible chariots
of endless steams.

The full moon
listlessly looks down
illuminating all,
harboring secrets
of insomnia dreams.

It's a night of
countless eyes
locked on a moon
numerous visions
feasting one big truth:
Love of Life.

I wait for the sea,
wait for the endless stretches in blue
the plundering waves
rushing, crashing
foaming with surfs breaking
on stretches of sand.

And then the sea,will take me in
as I plunge myself in its arms
will hold me tight
while I feel the water heaving
pulsating with a force never known,
playing with my being,
its wetness, the vastness, the mystery
is a love never known,
all my agonies, pleasures and pain
it will **** from my body,
while every drop of water
caresses me, my skin, every pore.

I'll forget the chaotic world
and give myself to the sea,
it will hold me, I know
even take me down to its core bed
and love me endlessly
will keep me so faithfully
for I yield to it
in full knowledge of what I gain.

Snow and cold may have given
aching bones, shivering body,
frostbites and numb states,
but deep inside
in my heart, in my soul
there is warmth
of a special kind,
a spring breeze
with a delicious touch,
for every snow-day
you hold me tight
and whisper those words
" I love you"

Polar Vortex can come
with all the snow it wants
but the fire inside
will never be out
you know.

Oh, my Johnny
I don't want snow to go,
for life will take
when spring wind blows.

When the world sleeps
deep at night,
I hear the train passing by.

Rickety rick, rickety rick
captures my heart
and I get lost
to distant lands,
the soul wanders
with night travelers
moving in the dark.

There is definite welcome
in the train whistle
breaking stillness of night
to wake me up
and take my heart
to the unknown.

My heart and soul gone
the body lies on bed,
then sleep settles in
and the train takes form
in my wild, wild dreams.
©

I saw the moon
through the bamboo leaves
a thousand times,
saw it peek
when clouds played
hide and seek,
and above the sea
as phosphorus danced in glee,
but
that moonlit night
when you held me
the moon, I did not see.

How can I,
when your lips
shut my eyes
and I couldn't look
up at the sky,
not even once?

I yield to death
not to acknowledge defeat
nor the end,
but for the naked truth
that I love life
in all aspects,
and death happens to be
just one part of life,
an inevitable happening
and so I am in peace
waiting for life to bring
death when it wants.

I love life too much
to let it down.

2016 has
11 days to go
carrying memories
to timeless seas.

( written on 12.19.2016)

Snow falls, drifting, slowly
piling on hills and meadows
chilly wind , really cold,
but I am in eternal spring
held in your *****
heavenly warmth
a touch of spring
while snow flakes,
peeping from outside
pile on window panes.

Love has no colors, no shapes
Sizes or definitions,
Love is nothing
Love is everything,
Love is just YOU.

Love is foolish
Love is craziness,
It’s  total madness
Of a delicious kind.

Love is your absence
Love is your presence,
It is pain in passion
It is bliss in kisses.

Love does not speak
Does not sing or paint,
It hangs invisible
It is souls entwined.

Love is miracle,
Love is getting lost,
Whole world forgotten
While your lips are on mine.

When gusty wind blows,
snow piled on branches
spray wildly, like powder
let through the blower.


Struggling under weight of snow,
does the tree ask the wind
to take her white dresses away
so she can dress in colors of spring?

Or
maybe the trees feel elated
in their white,lacy gowns
and feel threatened
when the wind rips them down?

But there is a unique love affair
in between,
in consent OR protest;
when snow goes
spring, the queen of colors
enters the scene.
©

countless voices
cry to life
the giver
seeking, begging
give us
'more, more
and yet more',
till they hear
life saying,
'I shall give
when I receive'.

between life and death
life stares
and so do we
silence and sound
we ask each other
' what did we give?'

Earth held solid under my feet
with the first steps
when he held my hands
to guide me on
over grass or rocks

and lent me wings
with words to speak
for my wants
in times when
I had none of my own

and lit me candles
in the darkest hours
when I cried
feeling lost

and held me tight
in his *****
a world so full
with one alone

and, now suddenly
he's gone
I float, finding no grounds
love's strength gone
I know not
how to live on
dear father,
up in the heaven
please, show me a way
to go on.