Kisses these days, are not kisses
no, not really.

The warmth, the tingling sensations
that used to ignite fire
through the whole body,
devour each and every cell
send us to heaven and hell,
in sweet pains, silent pleasure,
all in just one kiss,
and
fire of lips found life
bodies discovered passion,
left bodies in happy ember.
Those you know,
were really kisses,
fire of love
that happily engulfed
two souls.

Kisses these days,
just aren't the same,
it's fire that smokes
spreading its incense
reminding me,
what kisses were like
in those big, big flames.

What went wrong?
I wonder, why kisses,
are not fire any more
lips touch lips,
yet the spark,
where has that gone?

At times hypocrites get me
appraising glances, loving words
all the time, all around.
But I know
that really they are;
sugar coated poison.

I open my heart
hear birds' twitter
words of love,
open my eyes, see
flowers dancing with the wind,
all embrace me
with magical words.

My whole being lifts
to unknown heights;
a pure delight,
feeling loved,
so truthfully, so completely
by LIFE.
This pulsating energy
captures me
loves me with total honesty.

Out from my castle
far from the madding crowd,
on the bare earth
nobody around
yet,
I feel so loved!

When I fell in love
had no words to write,
how much or how many ways,
no music to play the exact tune,
no perfect color to put into theme
no dances to step in.

We held each other, but
closeness was never close,
not even hearts beating together,
kisses, never  deep enough
ending in long hours,
no ways whatsoever
just to say
how much I loved you.

Now that I hate you
once again, no ways
to express my dislike,
no midways
between love and hate.

The only difference,
I don't try to say
how far gone am I,
the broken heart,
it just doesn't work,
you killed it,
invisible ******,
a crime,
beyond measure.

Oh, no i didn't sit to write poetry
but those gushing feelings inside me
just wanted a way out.

This is no poem
nothing fictional
I mean,
but just to say
in total honesty,
i love you!
Writing the 'i' in smaller case
for
the straight line is you and me
uniting in the dot,
that is like
love in full circle.

This is no poem
its just to say
i love you,
you see.

Fireflies keep me awake,
deep nights unfold
with countless lights,
I wonder, and wonder,
O' fireflies with flickering lights,
have you found your knights,
is the night warm enough
for your lights to work the magic
to catch the perfect mates?

Global warming, so many hazards
suppose the nights are not warm enough
for the chemicals to work
and fireflies did not get their lights,
will that mean the death
no mating and
the end of fireflies?

I sit awake, night grows deep
staring out at the waning moon,
the garden wears a girdle,
a fairy girdle of winking lights,
the fireflies go high and low
I hope, just hope
this summer is rich in romance
for the fireflies to find love.

Summer without them
would be loveless warmth,
for He and I join our sights
weaving our love story
watching the fireflies
love each other
with soft, flickering lights.

Every summer a blessing,
a return to paradise,
fireflies and romance
He and I
new wings to love
A toast to Life!

I let go of it all,
and now feel happy, so free
like a bird, that soars high
leaving its nest
to the wind's whim.
In the space it is
all by itself
but so happy,
I am sure
or else, why does it fly
so high, again and again?

Material things
make me stick to life,
they are
like chewed gum,
a peculiar pleasure in chewing
although sweetness gone,
seeking permanence in life.

I no longer possess
that owning attitude
to anything, near or far
in the heart have disowned
all greed of the heart
conditioned all desires
to say "no" to anything binding.
No chewing gums in my mouth!

Disowned everything binding,
Now I own life
it coils to me
we are lovers
in freedom alone.

Hot summer day
by the seaside,
dipped in the sea
waves come
rolling, rolling
breaking into surfs
spraying out high.

A drop of salty water
reaches my ears
goes deep
and I hear
the sea start a tale
an endless one
about mysteries in its deep,
countless life, flora and fauna
wrecked ships, drowned bodies
mermaids, dolphins, whales
octopuses, sea anemone and more
endless tales unfold.

I am lost on the land
captured by the sea
still telling me its tale.

On my usual flight
from Dallas to Boston,
I saw her,
a perfect belle
a white summer dress
red roses in print
Alfred Dunner perhaps?

Lips pouting,vermillion red
delicate nose, dark sun glass
a Gucci, I could see,
scent of Nina Ricci perfume
reached my nose
"Lucky lady", I told myself.

Me in modest clothes
wondered how happy she was,
sure as looks do tell;
diamond ring
perfectly poised,
commuting to work place
has a good job for sure!

On a sudden impulse
glanced at her face,
and was just in time to see
large drops of tears
slide lazily
from behind the dark glasses
roll over the cheeks
and fall on the lap,
and then another
and another.

Yet she sat still
faintest tremor on the lips
I  imagined a volcano
erupting in her heart.

I looked at my faded skirt
and closed my eyes,
wondering, wondering;
joy and sorrow
elusive indeed,
where do they strike
how do they ****?

I am running, running
far away, far away
I want to go
leave behind all of these
please don't chase me
you, unhappiness
I am running away.

I am coming, coming
please stop a moment
let me catch up
I am running to you
you, happiness
I am coming to you.

But life, why so harsh be?
Why all the red signals
left, right, ahead and behind?
Now, where do I run to?

I am dying slowly
leaves fall, branches dry
and soon the trunk will hollow
and I will fall
my love, the wind calls.

Cracking, breaking
then a thundering crash
and I will be gone,
down on the earth
whispering to the grass
tales of love
from the wind.

Wind, my beloved
made love to me,
gentle and caring
rough or demanding,
but it was life
sharing his game of force
with arms wrapped around.

On that fateful night
he held me tight.
too tight, too many kisses
with bodies entwined
he raged and raved
exploring my being.

While the hurricane sang
in the name of love
he uprooted me
to carry me away
to be his, forever.

Now I die slowly
betrayed on the way
he left me tattered and torn.

But my lover comes
again and again
making love to another tree
just beside me,
how crazy love can be
I wonder as I fall.

This is not a poem you know
Its just words of my hearts
Words that I just could not say aloud
And yet had to say.

Where do I begin?
What do I say poetically I mean?
These are feelings you know
Feelings that tears bring
Feelings that make me laugh
Yet leave me feeling foolish again.

You speak all poetry
How beautifully you tell
All that make your heaven and hell
In your eyes, words do I find?

My words are not poetry you know
When you read them
Perhaps you will find a poem
If you love me.

Deep in my eyes
I hold the truth.
Its not a poem, you see
Its waiting to be,
A poem in your world.

Love has no colors, no shapes
Sizes or definitions,
Love is nothing
Love is everything,
Love is just YOU.

Love is foolish
Love is craziness,
It’s  total madness
Of a delicious kind.

Love is your absence
Love is your presence,
It is pain in passion
It is bliss in kisses.

Love does not speak
Does not sing or paint,
It hangs invisible
It is souls entwined.

Love is miracle,
Love is getting lost,
Whole world forgotten
While your lips are on mine.

I write poems when I am happy
I write poems when I am sad

Laughter echoes with words of rhymes
Tears flow down cascading in verses,

Warmth of kisses are blended in stanzas
Love every way, speaks in sonnets.

Now I am numb, dried tears, laughter frozen
Numbness has erased all senses
Poems do not come anymore.

Wonder why the hell I was born anyway?
Parents gave up to the orphanage
The orphanage sent to foster homes
One by one, no one really wanted me
And so I remained the "unwanted one".

Unhappiness hit, full to the being
Life was not worth living
And so I committed suicide.

But lo, even God didn't want me
Someone found me just before the last breath
Doctors rushed in, I continued to live
God saved me, because He didn't want me
And so I am forever wondering
Where really do I belong?

This hotel has six levels,
Massive car parks
Sprawling floors for guests

That hospital has four levels,
The airport has three,
And the bus station too
Has its own levels
Level 1 and Level 2.

Boston railway station;
So many levels again,
Trains on Blue Line,
Trains on Red Line
Then clickety click,
Clickety click
to a big mall.
More levels to pick
To shop till one drops
From Level 1 to Level 4.

Wait,
I have a level too,
A level between rich and poor
Between richest and poorest
A middle class perhaps?
Or a lower or upper middle?

Ah, no, I fit into none
I wish I could find a new level
Just another level
That would make people mark
A level behind my status
A me, just a ME.

I wait for the sea,
wait for the endless stretches in blue
the plundering waves
rushing, crashing
foaming with surfs breaking
on stretches of sand.

And then the sea,will take me in
as I plunge myself in its arms
will hold me tight
while I feel the water heaving
pulsating with a force never known,
playing with my being,
its wetness, the vastness, the mystery
is a love never known,
all my agonies, pleasures and pain
it will **** from my body,
while every drop of water
caresses me, my skin, every pore.

I'll forget the chaotic world
and give myself to the sea,
it will hold me, I know
even take me down to its core bed
and love me endlessly
will keep me so faithfully
for I yield to it
in full knowledge of what I gain.

I opened the floodgates
and let the tears flow.
Ribs in the ribcage
shreds of muscles
veins, tissues and bones
all that seemed to be massed
inside the *****
holding the pain, the hurt
all have to wash away
with all the floodgates open!

And yet they don't go
no matter how hard I cry
no matter how my being shakes
sobs and heaves,
I try to clean up
and yet those messed up feelings
won't wash up.

No crying, no tears , no anguish
no shouting, no grief
seems to  be enough.
Tell me what can I do
to erase those pains?

It was just one simple question
just asked
was it so hard to love me
as I am?
You stared into my eyes
and somewhere behind
you read my thoughts
and turned around.

Was it so hard to love me
as I am?
I had loved you
and made you mine,
embraced you as you are
why couldn't you love
what was really you
in my being?

It was just "US"
that you left behind.

Termites, those invisible, destroyers
eating away, eating away
bit by bit, I can hear
slow and steady
gnawing away
so determined to hurt me
destroy the bit I have, only
this time its not wood
its flesh and soul
they eat away
bent on finishing me
my whole being.

Have you seen these termites:
that eat the inner being?

I need, very badly need
a shoulder to lean on
a shoulder to cry on
a wet shoulder to make more wet
and a shoulder that is a permanent place
no matter how wet I make it
will still hold my place,
will not offer the hanky
will just hold me
while I lean on.

Today's poem is letting friends know
I've taken a new vow
In a book called, "Red, Blue, Purple"
Available on Amazon
With words of heart
Wanting to touch other hearts
If they open the doors
And let me in.

Note: My publication is really on Amazon.com: Red, Blue, Purple by Tulip Chowdhury

Is it some well known brand in tissues?
No, its the cheapest ones
Usually found in Dollar picks.

It's you I'm talking about
You were needed
I mean needed, not need
or will need,
And so you were used.

It was November  
Running nose, croupy cough
Irritating and unwanted things
Coming out of the body,
Had to be cleaned
With that tissue
Including unwanted feelings.

The tissue, too *****!
And when I threw it
In the bin
I felt as if it was you
I was done
It was used and discarded.
Like you.

I'm silent today
who do I talk to?

The wind is not blowing
not whistling or singing
the songs and lullabies
so who do I talk to?

The rain is not falling
no thunders crashing
no raindrops pattering
on window panes
to knock and awake me
and so who do I talk to?

Tree by my window
stands silent
no birds or wind
to share untold tales
it seems to say sorry
for not having any company
and so who do I talk to?

There are people all around
they chatter like birds
shout like raging storms
but they don't listen,
really listen you know
to what I say.

And so whom do I talk to?
I'm quiet today.

At times in life
I shrink and expand
like Tom and Jerry,
once I'm big like a monster
and again like a poppy seed,
hidden forces changing me
heedless to my whims.

I begin to wonder
if life is like that cartoon
flipping images and so
like Tom and Jerry
will I be chasing forever
those big and small sizes
as life takes me
as it pleases?

Wait, what am I now
a poppy seed or monster?
Tom and Jerry chase each other
but the life that chases me
is too big
to fit into the screen,
but all the same
it makes me expand and shrink
and I join Tom and Jerry
bigger or smaller
on the screen
not sure if I fit in.

Wind, you crazy playful wind
do you have to blow away
all the leaves
that will wither anyway
in this fall?

Stop kissing my face
stop tickling my neck
stop blowing my hair
stop playing with my eyes
or clinging to the body.

You can play with the leaves
the trees
as you please
but why me?
I am not your toy
to carry away
in the October wind!

Falling, falling, falling
  swirling, twirling
     brown, yellow, red
          leaves falling
            falling to the ground
               the earth calling
                    calling, calling
                       grasses fading
                           flowers dying,
                              pumpkin, Halloween
                               hey, fall’s calling!

                                  We’re joining
                                   seen, unseen
                                    seasonal decaying
                                       beginning, ending                                      
                                         eternity onwards going
                                          never backing,
                                          inhaling, exhaling
                                           hearts waiting, waiting
                                           smiling, smiling
                                              spring will be coming!

Life is too, too.... what?
No words...none that come
             to speak of demons, lost dreams
                       battling inside,
                         a world war
                             in the inner me!                        
                                
*****  YOU !, YOU  FAT  *** !

I know, in poem, a thing of beauty
I'm crossing set rules
So sorry my "Poemie"!

But the incredulity of it all:
           cannot be without
                  those words so perfect!

Don't worry, its all said
Under breath, a hiss only,
For I hope, really hope,
I still hold on to some sanity!

Door closed, windows shut
blinds drawn,
all quiet, though afternoon
seems like new moon.

Wakes that demon inside
serpents wrapped around,
bitterness, anguish
anger,f frustration
love gone bitter,
no, no, nothing is right!
Don't show me reasons
I see none, I'm okay
in my streaming tears,
why can't I shed enough
to empty this soul
to rid of these burdens?

Tears that I have shed
what do they hold?
Were they not enough?
More and more
they come, exhale grief'
grief inhale!

Ah, mirror
don't reflect this face
contoured with anguish
swollen eyes,
mouth so ugly
with silent screams!

So many calls
so many songs
yet I sit tight
howling inside
let me cry a little more
a little more!

Its red light, have to stop
      car radio streaming in
             favorite Rihanna song
              ....found love in a hopeless place..
looking to right
        catch his intense gaze              
                a fraction, we're locked!
His blue eyes, my hazel
        ' I'd like to know
             me too..'our eyes say.
Honk...honk...
          our eyes unlock
               traffic light's yellow!
Wait, don't want to  miss
         Cupid's arrows!
             don't you think
                 we just had it all?
  But...oh!
  Traffic light is green,
      pressing accelerator
           he's turning left
   me right        
       hopes ditched!
             Traffic lights,
                 can't do this!
Hit highway
      no stopping
           car rushing, yet
hearts keep crying
          a dream of love        
              left to i-95?
Join Rihanna,
            as she sings
                      ..found love in a hopeless place....

Sunlight seeps in
glass windows all
and yet with blinds drawn,
"click'..put on
the electric light,
gives a worthy feeling,
of course
sort of false pride!
The mirror reflects
a haunted look
insomnia
on the face,
mirror, mirror tell me true
so saying
put on more lipstick
more rouge and mascara
Nina Ricci perfume!

Toothpaste
Colgate advanced formula,
or else brushing futile
breakfast cereals
latest blends
tea labelled "Twining"
I-phone pocketed,
boutique shop clothes
stilettos clicking
you get started
feeling good
racing the sports car,
race as if
borrowed happiness
will escape,
its after all
everyday happiness
on a lucky credit card
older bills
still pending,
still pending!!
and yet
these everyday happiness
keeps you going!

Contributed by Tulip Chowdhury

                                              See My Inner Being

See my inner being;
The soul that roams around
The heart that shares your life
All the tears and the smiles,
The doors are open
You can come and explore
And definitely you’ll find
A Me, that is full of empathy
Full of light to show you ways,
Willing to love
And reach out both hands,
When you are in doubts
To be there
Pointing out the right ways.

The outside self;
Is up to you to judge
But I would request
See my inside.
And then you decide
If you really want
To accept me
For what I am
And walk along
Stride by stride
Holding my hands
While two hearts
Beat as one!

Will you do that, just for once
And see my heart, for what I am?

I couldn’t  find a place


Tremors of love made me shiver
I wanted the warmth of your love
In my utter desolation
I wanted you so badly!

And so I ran all the way
Puffing and panting
Short of breath
And yet the big dream
Of finding a place
To bury  my tear ridden face
In your *****
And listen to your heart beating
With the joy of our reunion.

I found you
In our usual meeting place
I ran, wanting to collapse
Into those beloved arms
But couldn’t,
They held someone else
In my place!