Your body
Your touch
Your eyes looking into mine
Your devilish smile
Has me speaking in tongues
You truly are the devil
I unknowingly signed over my soul on that dotted line
For eternity
You are my complete undoing
Every **** time

I don't love you
****, I don't even love myself

Always sad
Always lost
Always numb
Nowhere feels like home
No matter where I am
No matter who I'm with
Perhaps because of my childhood
Nobody dies a ******, because life ***** us all
I either feel things so intensely it's consuming
Or I feel nothing at all
There's no in between
Always

Religion is the biggest crock of ****
The cultiest cult to ever of culted
Just an adult club for rapists and paedophiles
So sick
So obscene
So evil
They destroy lives of the young
And get away with it
What a sick world we live in

Pushing the envelope
Seeing how much I can get away with
Slowly but surely
Biting the hand that feeds
I don't deserve you
You're better off without me
And I say that with my full ******* chest
Just end this
I don't know how to
So I'll keep pushing until you do
I'm ****** in the head
Three ways from Sunday
Nobody can save me
I'm a lost cause

Check my phone to see if you have messaged me..  
It's sad and pathetic
Check my blocked messages to see if you have messaged me
Nothing... yet
Will you message me again?
How long will it be this time?
I can't help but wonder
I read old messages like a ****** up, passionate, twisted love story
Read your words and can't help but think
Was it all in my ******* head?
I look at old videos
Old pictures
Voice notes  
I wonder if you actually deleted everything
Or did you put it in a folder somewhere
A very Virgo thing to do
I deleted things I wish I didn't when I was upset
I wish I could restore
But somehow they're still there in my mind
Tattooed on my brain and heart
You've made me well and truly sick
Or maybe I always was

I haven't contacted you on every source..
I blocked you on everything
I was upset because what you said was harsh, disrespectful & heartless.
Using your mental illness to treat people the way that you do is such a cop-out & not okay on any level - it's ****** up
You didn't use me sexually but you used me emotionally - which is kind of worse.
Platonic means nothing ****** & yet you spoke about hooking up hypothetically, said you were hard (not platonic type of conversation at all - you brought this up, not me - if it's platonic why bring that up?
If it's been platonic - why sleep with me to begin with?
Your words contradict your actions & vice versa
I don't know what I ever saw in you, thought the world of you, put you on a pedestal
Now I don't even wanna be in the same state as you, let alone the same country

You were never mine
So why does it hurt so badly?

I still felt down when I spoke to you, but I liked talking to you because you understood because you think very similar to me

Feel like I found someone that understands my ****** upness & now you're just gone

I moved interstate because it was never gonna work out the way I wanted it to

It confuses me because we spoke more once I moved
Why didn't you make that much effort when we were both in the same state?

Why did you wanna see me one last time ?
Was it to **** with my head & heart?
If so, then mission accomplished & then some

You need not hide
behind your poetry
You need not resist
what you believe
Your words are there upon the page
The naïve are deceived
Your greatest fears define you,
your closed mind is never free..
Loop us through your poetic spells..
Infect us with your bigotry…