The moonlight is somehow pink
but only in the air around me
somehow I wish you were still here
even though I know there is far
too much that will never be said
no matter how badly I want to

Everybody hurts me when they leave
and in the end, they all do
but so far none has left me hollow
quite the way it did when I walked away
and still, it feels like being ripped apart
from something I've realized I never knew

The balance has shifted and fallen
my potential left untouched
what I need is ignored
what I have to give
being slowly forgotten
who will find me?

or shall I simply disappear?

I write them
I look back
Scattered pieces across every single one of them
There you are
In my thoughts left unexpressed
In all words better left unsaid
Still not sure how this could happen
Not only once but all over again
And yet I rewind myself daily
To remember
That the next time
Love stumbles my way
To close my eyes
Dive in head first
As if I never have before.

I no longer have the energy
you have taken it from me
to lift my fingers
to motivate the string
of words that used to flow so easy

I have cried myself dry
I no longer see why
I should keep believing.

The very first rule
has been broken
that you made
in the first place.

When waking up in the morning
is all that I can do sometimes
when breathing hurts so badly
when I know I cannot cry
because I will not stop.

My faith in being honest never wavers
no matter how many souls
lie to
cheat on
deceive
leave
prey on
abuse
ghost


In love I still believe
but I think you have finally convinced me.

You may feel backed in a corner
but I have no way out.

I see the difference
the path you now walk on
how important it is that you stay moving
you see all the small details
yet you fly right by me

I've been here
I'll be here

I don't even know what it is that I should do
but I know you
and I can do this.

What is left to consider
Where you think I'm resisting
I'm testing the resilience
You don't have to drag anything out
It's all there directly under the surface
All you have to do is swim.

There are so many reasons not to
might even be easier that way
but there is something stirring in me
deeper than I have ever let myself go

but do I say so