TR Takoda: Favorites

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

Trevor Gates

Lucid, abusive
Tongue in cheek divine
Stupid, elusive
Lost soul of mine

A snap of orchestral fingers to summon the suave illustrator
Mohawk punks and minions to smash the limp masturbator

Loveless, acquiesce
Arpeggio flutter ripples
Convalesce, Fancy dress
******* with perky *******

One or two drinks, make it three then five
Keeping the blood warm and love alive

Visceral, peripheral
Dark raven hair
Liberal, scriptural
I couldn’t even care.

I adored her all, her everything, her gleaming demeanor
The subtle wink of her eyes, the glow; even greener

Exotica, ex machina
Street amazon of desert glass sand
No drama, rural karma
Flesh sweating like the heat of Sudan

Dead singers like Cole and Morrison sing of paper moons and Crystal Ships
The mixed CD segues to U2, Pulp, and then a full disk of The Flaming Lips.

"Nightingale", minor scale
The saxophonist played under the street lamp outside
Folktale female
“Another drink?” she abides, two glasses and wine supplied

On her balcony we watched and listened, to the call of urban passion
The wordless music we adored, a testament to our mutual attraction.

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

Conversation

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

Ai

Conversation

We smile at each other
and I lean back against the wicker couch.
How does it feel to be dead? I say.
You touch my knees with your blue fingers.
And when you open your mouth,
a ball of yellow light falls to the floor
and burns a hole through it.
Don't tell me, I say. I don't want to hear.
Did you ever, you start,
wear a certain kind of dress
and just by accident,
so inconsequential you barely notice it,
your fingers graze that dress
and you hear the sound of a knife cutting paper,
you see it too
and you realize how that image
is simply the extension of another image,
that your own life
is a chain of words
that one day will snap.
Words, you say, young girls in a circle, holding hands,
and beginning to rise heavenward
in their confirmation dresses,
like white helium balloons,
the wreathes of flowers on their heads spinning,
and above all that,
that's where I'm floating,
and that's what it's like
only ten times clearer,
ten times more horrible.
Could anyone alive survive it?

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

my wife, my life

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

Robert G Page

my wife, my life

by
rgpage

in a latter year of my third decade
my twenty seventh to be sure.
i was young and strong, not bad on looks
still seeking my maiden pure.

in my earlier years i’d traveled the globe
the compass far and wide.
i went to war on foreign shores
   for uncle sam, but not our nation’s pride.

viet nam took many lives
and ruined many more,
from the outset waiting my long
trip home i felt so insecure.

in those few years my way was nye
i traveled from bar to bed.
with whom not knowing nor caring why
to block the demons in my head.

i lived this way for six long years
not seeing life and life not seeing me.
anti-war riots and widow’s tears
a mother’s cry and father’s plea.

six empty years past the stench of war,
and a life now gone that i once knew.
a stranger then to all once loved
and friend to very few.

now looking back it was then i feel
God saw i had no worth
for this was when i first met you,
an angel come to earth.

it was then you came into focus
you were all that i could see.
you gave your love and took me in
and brought out the best in me.

now forty three years have passed since that day
you came into my life.
i still see you  now w/ that young man’s eyes
when i took you for my wife.

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

Self-pity

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

D.H. Lawrence

Self-pity

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

pillow talk

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

catherine

pillow talk

in the
dark
with your body pressed against mine, you ask me questions
because you want to know my mind
want to know me
and not just the face you see

you ask me things like
what is your favorite color, food, embarrassing memory,
etc.
etc.
etc.

all pretty tame questions
ever break anything? you say and i assume you mean
bones so i tell you about breaking my wrist, the
snapped radius and the misplaced ulna
but you stop me
no, like,
broken something. you know?

something like someone’s heart?

and i think no nothing like that because i’m not sure
if anyone else has ever loved me
enough to be sad
i left

but i don’t say that
instead
i tell you about smashing plates against the wall
for fun
and when i’m done

you’re fast asleep.

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

note to self

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

Ben

note to self

it feels like a needle through your nose
except without the pain
you're nothing but a disappointment after disappointment
our eyes locked in the coffee shop
but my trembling heart could not tell you just how i ...
my mind is a jumble
high school was the worst best years of my life
a razor never cuts deeper than rejection
and a fear of failure stopped me
from kissing the girl i thought was cute
getting kicked out of my house
is an unfulfilled dream
i want you to get so angry it hurts
and a punch to the face would
help me more than god or molly
i want what is bad for me
but i can never pull the trigger
on my romanticized downward spiral
herion addicts are my secret heroes
but i was born in the wrong century
but but but but i make nothing but excuses
see what i did there?
if i was sixteen again i'd cut my wrists
and be happier because i never took chances
or danced on the floor
just sat on the wall in a constant
of existing but never really living
i'd rather be depressed than happy
and every second that ticks by
is a second i regret
asiwatchmydreamswiltanddietellingmyselfthattomorrowillgetoffmylazyassandlivethewayiwantyetitsbeenfiveyearsandihavenothingtoshowformyselfexceptafewtattoosafewpiercingsandthisdeepdarkcornerofmymindthatpraysfordeathonadailybasisandthinksabouthowillkillmyselfwhenimthirtyfiveandrealizewhatifailureiamandhowihadeverychanceotmakesomethingofmyselfbutinsteadecidedtolayinmybedandstareatmyceilinghatingeveryminutethatiwasntfuckingagirlordrinkingmyselftoapointwhereicouldonlythinkabouthowtheworldfeelsjustrightwhenimpukingupmylunchinthebathroomandsleepingonthetileflooraloneagainandidaskthegodtokillmebuthedratherseemesufferwhatafuckingprick
*****
**** up
loser

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

3 inches

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

brooke

3 inches

I tell her:
you will not
be ugly if you
cut your hair

because when
she was small the
kids called her
fat and the

boys called her a
boy which was
okay but not

so this long hair
was a rebellion
as she proclaimed
i really am a girl

i really am a girl

i really am a girl

won't you believe me?

(c) Brooke Otto

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

Eligibility

Apr 2013 TR Takoda

Ayaba Babe

Eligibility

When I look at you,
I don't know what to look at first.
You're so visually inspiring its
Incredible.
You're eligible for
Perfect.