How hard must a heart hurt to not feel worth what you are?

How bad must you be, to be able see that you took it too far?

How sad must you feel before you can accept that it's
YOU'RE deal that makes you less happy.

How mad and ****** can you feel about you feel about yourself before you see all you're doing is being a baby?

Not long enough.

But also long enough.

It's been plenty days.

We all have had a living hell and now I have to say:
It's okay, even though it's not.
It'll be alright even if I get shot.
Everyday is fine,
and so are you.
Everything is beautiful,
and so is what you do.

I came across a patch of trail plums along my errands.

I stared at them and thought that they were real small.

So, I tried one.

And found out that size is not all congruent
with flavor.

The bigger plums were fat and nice,
a taste that I could savor.

But the greatest plum wasn't fat and right.
The greatest plum didn't light my light.

The greatest fruit was soft and subtle,
and much harder to obtain.

I climbed a hill, a fence, a mountain
To taste that fruit again.
I knew.
I understood.
That the fruit knew that I would
Climb a hill, a fence, a mountain

Just to appreciate.
Just to know that fruit can grow
In a way that I don't hate.

I held an hourglass against the sun to burn up all the bugs.
All of the little critter crawlers that buried under my skin.
They like me more at night, because I'm very warm.
So, they storm my hair hedges and burrow in my skin.

The ****** up part is that I let them in,
and allow me to be itchy all night,
all night in my dreams I sweat.
It's salty, saline regret.
And it steps inside me, over logs of happiness and hate.

I let them in to help me begin to be a better person.

And they let me know that the horrorshow is that I'm worse than ever happy memory I held and thought I still was.

I've had a plan to leave before the beginning of November,
So, Since I miffed about my privilege
I've sent a visage. Two torn bits broke apart,
and used to start a fire beneath my knees.

Spread glee and see what it does \ for you.

Fashioned air had fell apart.
Passion showed me her flag on the hill when I started.

Before I parted from being a frail little fish,
I started to miss how hard she had been on me.

I'd tried over ten days over, to master how to pick apart a pickle jar.
It's a travesty to see a grown fuddle over glass and cry.

Still, I've had a chance to see my life through brine-stained glasses.
The passage of time is an ******* who steals all your good jokes.

Instead I stay coked up and well-fed.
And I no longer bleed red.
Instead I'm a bleached blanket of white socks and sorries.
It's not how large I am.
And not only how smart.
But my language can be best felt
in all my stories.

Closeted was my emotions.
And even still,
I had posited an emotion
to stop all position and it's my mission
in my life to send my hellhole
that I live in everyday,
the hellhole that I see when I say
that my pain is sent into remission.
Bliss. and blissful buttons had finally
mustered up a wall.
Should I call you now?
Should we finally feel how we really feel?
It's not really who I am.
It's just my stupid deal.
And I dealt and felt about just everything.
Please.
Don't make me sing.