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Welcome to the parade
Don't get it twisted
This is a sick sad establishment

I greeted Death with a smile and all I got in return was wishful thinking and eternal life
At least that's what he wanted me to believe
In reality, realism never looked so ugly
I've watched all of those around me die
And this is all taking so long, I'd rather watch paint dry

My contract is irreversible
My body stopped growing
A solar eclipse is the last thing I want to see
Satisfaction has become dissatisfaction
The flowers on my porch stopped blooming
All of this has only made me see

The big man in charge is a ******* and not even a forest fire could burn my hopes and dreams
I am eternal
I will live forever
I will makes the most of this
Whether you want me to or not
I will be here forever and there is nothing that can stop me

I will drink soda before going to bed
I will sleep with the lights on
I will have the craziest dreams

I will wake up thankful
I will be kind
I will be thoughtful
I will make sure no one ever knows
I will be the most beautiful

Don't get me wrong, death is beautiful
But everything beautiful must die eventually
With six hundred miles between you and the freedom you were promised,  the interstate speaks through your radio;
Springsteen tells you to hit the gas hard, to run and keep running and let the sunset try and catch you, cover the earth in dust behind you and never look back to assess the damage,
Joni Mitchell tells you to go home, to eat your pride and kiss your friends and to dig your life for all its worth,
Robert Plant tells you to go West, to firewalk with the spirits of those who came before, those who shared a vision and a madness and a feeling and who are waiting to take you somewhere beautiful,
Lou Reed tells you to go East, to disappear among the phantoms haunting New York streets and to let yourself become part of the Great, Inescapable Noise
Bob Dylan tells you to go forth with righteous anger burning holes in your pockets, to give back unto those who have been wronged, and to never trust the government
Jerry Garcia tells you to go forth in peace, with love blooming flowers from the cracks in your bones, to live simply and to hide your drugs well,
David Bowie tells you to learn which way they expect you to go, take a sharp brakes squealing U-turn and laugh as you speed away from everything they thought they knew about you,
**** Jagger tells you to stumble drunkenly down the path but never let them see you fall, to **** and fight for everything you want and keep them wondering how you survived,
Jimi Hendrix tells you that if you burn bright enough, turn it up loud enough, and bleed red enough, you can have them following you anywhere, burning the flags they wave and waving the flags they burn,
Jim Morrison tells you that the other side is within reach, that you can turn any lock with any key and reach Heaven without ever putting on a shirt,
Stevie Nicks tells you that whichever way you go, you better make ******* sure you're doing it on your own terms
Realize that you tread on hallowed ground,
This is the American night of the great mysticism, the holy vision of open road and unending sky, this is the night they drove Joan Baez down, the night that Janis Joplin collapsed under the weight of her own power, the night that Woody Guthrie cried his last bleeding heart tears because he knew the fight would not end with him, this is the night that you find peace in the great uncertainty,
With 100 miles of space left between you and this indeterminate future, the highway whispers to you;
"They will remember you too, if only you give more,
Your beautiful hair illuminated by neon halos, your body broken apart and taken as communion,
Your voice straining with purpose splitting nights just like this in half,
They will remember you too,
They will remember you"
Lackluster serenade
Pick me up and lay me into your abundance

I wish I may, I wish I might
For the moon to collapse and the stars to collide
Your hair is soft and silky
Like fresh cut grass in the summer of '97

11pm, sing me to sleep with your soft, sweet melodies

I am caught between a rock and a hard place
Yet I wish to be caught between your lips
Oh my, your soft, sweet lips

Do not mind me, I must have slipped
Do not remind me, give me no tips
This is a struggle, I do not fit

I am wrong and you are right
I wish I may, I wish I might

Cherries and wine, you are mine
Intoxicate me, you are so fine

Destroy me with your every grasp, take every one of my last breaths

"I never mattered, we never mattered
It all ends in death"


Said the wolf to the lamb
*"We all are next"
" All good things come to an end. "

Focus on the fact that good things end. Only good things end, right? The bad is seemingly endless, right? Baby, you could not be more wrong. Your cynical mind breaks my heart. You see, all things come to an end. Whether or not we exist to see the ending, the ending comes whether the life was deemed "good" or "bad." I beg you not fix your eyes on the ending of the good, but praise the idea of the bad failing to exist eternally. Now that you know, what is there left to fear? Our beautiful lives shall soon be taken, why must you drown yourself in your frightened thoughts? Darling, tell me what IS there to fear? Death? No, of course not. Do you fear hurting? Hurting others? Hurting yourself? What do you think we do? Every day we suffer for God's sake. We make others suffer, indirectly &, for the ill hearted, directly. Irrationality in and of itself is the idea of fearing something of which is inevitable. Live your life driven into a wall. Lay on the floor and mash your knuckles into your skull. Fear yourself. Fear the idea of missing out on the chance to love someone so deeply you could never breathe again. Drown in the idea of something beautiful. Why drench your flesh with regret when you have all the ability in the world to grasp whatever you want by the throat? Fearing the hurt is normal, but letting it stop you from living is inexcusable.  Regrettable. Fear is irrational. Fear exists only in the mind. Fear lives where you feed it. I dare you to let it eat you until you die. That way the end for you has taken place, and you will no longer worry for the things ending around you. We destroy one another, but I love the mess it makes. My blood mixed on the floor with the bile from your past. Look me in the eyes and confess to me what you are scared of. Get off your knees and keep walking. For the wind will continue to blow, but one day it will stop. It will be calm and you will feel light. You will be happy, but you will realize there is something missing. You look around at the placid scene, what could possibly be missing? I am all alone.

I do not fear the hurt. I invite the hurt into me. I let it fester in my bones. I let it run through my veins, and just as easy as it comes, I release it again into the world. The hurt is what makes me. I will never sacrifice an opportunity solely because of the hurt. I want to live, and I want to Feel your lips against mine. I beg for the winds to blow into me while the sun shines on my face and I will find myself in the same serene scene, but the difference is

I will not be alone.
 May 2016 Triston Wareing
Seth
My mouth is bleeding
And my knuckles hurt like hell

I am whispering under my breath
And punching the air

I touch my nose and flinch
That's gonna take awhile to heal

I've been waiting 3 years to see you
How does that make you feel

You should see the other guy
He got taken out by ambulance

I walked through those **** double doors
That place was called "Renegade 9"

You hit me straight in the nose
It sent a chill down my spine

There's blood running from my nose
I can feel it's warmth on my lips
I am dizzy

I didn't even know the guy but he looked like he could pack a good punch
So I started flirting with his girl

That got him real riled up
He was at least 150 pounds heavier than me

My head is pounding
My ears might bust
I think I should probably rest but my legs won't stop moving

I felt like Rocky Balboa
I felt like Muhammad Ali

I was the next world champion
Or the next accidental death at the bar down the street

I lived 50 miles away
I am walking home

I am smiling
I am running
This is my life
I am alive
 May 2016 Triston Wareing
Seth
Fill every crack in my body with cement and wine
Sober me up with stale breath and cold finger tips

Sting my skin with the fire of your words
Make my insides spin when I think of our last moment together

I am breathless but yet full of energy
I am running but my feet haven't left the ground
I am spinning without becoming dizzy
I am without reason
Something you always taught me

Take my silence and turn it into a poem
Something that can be spoken to the heavens
Of higher power to be spewed upon them in a way that is inhumanly
I'll see you at the viewing
I'll be in black
You'll be in your best dress

It was so brief
Not even my eyes could've have caught it
Once there now gone

I am vain
I am emotional
I am king

I feel every morsel of my body tense up
I'm looking at your headstone
Counting the bouquets of dead flowers

You were my rain and shine
You were divine

I am the sign
Saying you're going the wrong way
Turn back now

I am crippled from the thought
I have a headache and this room feels smoky
There's strangers in every dark corner
You always told me not to be in these situations

You disappeared and I fell into the darkness
I am painless I am stainless
Many have tried painting there words into my skin but it's all melted away shortly after

The only thing that ever stayed with me was something you branded into my arm last summer

"I love you. I miss you"
I am the sounding of your alarm
and the ringing of your bells

I am worth it, I am divine

I am the current that sweeps you away and the breeze that fills your mind

The sunlight casts a shadow on all of your wrongdoing; you are the most beautiful black sin

Forgive me not for my slumber, wake me not when you find me

Fill me with your benevolence, nurture me on your Earth
The surface is slick and clean, and I am the dirtiest of the sea

Forgive me not for my sins, I will be washed away in the end

I see you while you eat
I see you while you sleep
I will see you in every single one of your dreams

This life is a labyrinth for those of you who wish to be
What a shame it is to believe
I am every little thing you live, I am every little thing you breathe

I will be there when your curtain drops
I will be the only one you see
"Good morning sun, you are shining awfully bright today
Hello sunflower, you are looking breathtaking this morning
How are you, bonsai? You are looking so strong and sturdy!"

The sun sweeps over the hills and I sit for a moment and realize I have forgotten something

"Oh heavens, I have forgotten you"

"My dear rose, my sweet stone.
My muse and my flame.
I am so sorry I have forgotten you.
You are looking beautiful as ever this morning."

My eyes start to wash over with emotions I thought I had long forgotten

"My rose, my lovely blossom, you are shining like sequence on this lovely day."

I pace three or four times, I don't remember, maybe five

Hello sunset, you are so bright
Hello future, you are so light
Goodbye past, you are so hazy
Hello self, you are long gone

It has been three months, maybe four, I don't remember

"Father, happy birthday, we love you!
Mother is looking down on you and she is smiling so bright!"

"Hello, thank you.. Who are you?"

"Rose, there is someone here for us."

"Father, it's me, your son. I'm your son. I'm here to celebrate your birthday! D.. Don't you remember?"

"Rose, hurry, you don't want this young man to drink cold tea now, do you?"

With tears in my eyes I am viewing all of this through a kaleidoscope of forgetfulness I thought I would never have to remember

I remember hospital beds and sleepy eyelids just wishing to rest for a few minutes

A daughter lights a candle for her father and he immediately remembers the fire he saw

He screams and shouts as she is crying

"Father, father, please stop!
Everything is okay!
Everything will be okay!
We are okay!"*

If memory serves right, the sun is only as bright as I want it to be
I don't remember the last time I remembered
I am merely a helpless seed lost in the wind of this storm
and I cannot find my way back home

Now that I think about it, I don't even remember what home is
I. Connection - becoming phantoms in a fever dream holding hands and jumping into the abyss laughing, the swirling chaos of existence reduced to the space between parted lips, a look exchanged, a dance from the edge of reason to the holy arms of the sunrise, a night in which you learn to forget and embrace
II. The telling of fortunes - between lines of palms and decks of cards, between the eyes of gypsies that have tasted the dream of freedom, between sleepy kisses and the implications of a future in which Things Are Looking Up,
III. Sobering up - learning which parts of yourself you hide because you are ashamed and which parts you hide because you are afraid
IV. Letting it the hell out - learning to sing and dance and kiss and **** and drive fast and start fights and swear and howl and scream and write and perform and bare your skin and your teeth and your heart and your naked soul
V. Nostalgia - the reflection that the roads you walked and the clothes you wore and the girls you loved and the friends you kept and the things you thought were beautiful will never take you anywhere but home, but ******* does it feel good to come home sometimes
VI. Reconciliation - the understanding that everyone holds true, that in a time travel scenario everybody has a past self who would kick the **** out of their present self, and more than likely a future self who would be revolted by both, and that this is the progression of time as we perceive it at work
VII. Acceptance - the act of bringing together the pieces, the act of becoming unbroken, the act of having faith that you will become broken again at some point, the act of having faith in the cycle, the act of rising, the act of relapsing, the act of creation, the act of destruction, the act of living in a way that will someday make for great television, the act of fighting even though you know you will lose, the act of making it all count for something

If I live to see the seven wonders again, I will be more grateful
When we keep the bandages on, we let the trauma become identity,
When we rip the bandages off, we bleed out
There is no space left between us and the things we have come to fear for the skin to grow back
But they will never forgive us if we do not try

Level out, breathe in smoke, exhale fire, level out
Balance, restrain, restrain, restrain,
Now let it out
**** what you heard, this is everything
This is the gasoline heart of the human machine, the Hallelujah chorus that hits as you crest the hill, watching skylines shatter into mirrored versions of themselves, bearing down on the horizon like it has hurt you one too many times and you are not going to take it anymore,
Never let up, never take your eyes off the ******* for a second,
Let it out until the knuckles bruise and the fingers bleed,
Let it out until the fire dies, then *** a match to start a new one
And when the sun rises on the river, consider what it means to change from black to golden
Cast a stone to the water for every love you've surrendered,
Visit the graves you buried your old friends in, leave roses and a still burning cigarette on each one, even the dead must have vices,
Look West with the right set of eyes, try to understand the feeling Robert Plant sang about,
Drive fast across state lines, try to understand what Springsteen was running from,
Carry this burden of understanding until you collapse,
And when you do,
Listen, take to heart when the city speaks to you in dreams:
"Here in the obituaries, they paint us all golden"
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