I look at you and see myself

STOP.

Think
Wonder
Dream
Believe

Eat from the tree of knowledge
Dine at the table of conversation
Bask in the golden rays of idea
To be learned is to be a student of life
Good times shared and bad times lived
All provide their lessons
How to live
How to die
How to love
The world will teach you
No lies to be taken
If watched and experienced through
Open minds
It is on you to take the class
Many before, present, and future
Will live blind and numb
True blinded eyes see only blue skies
Yet never will they truly see those same blue skies for what they really are

Pessimism be my bane
Beauty of life my salvation
Live the struggle day to day
Two forces at play
Succumb to dejection and
Pay an ever sorrowful price
Uplift to see beauty
To realize
Struggles of the here and now may grow
Into defining moments and fond memories

I find myself searching,
Searching for what
I do not know
I think I search to find myself.

No purpose
No path

I can feel the potential, the talent well up inside me
For I hide my true abilities
Under cloak and behind mask
I am afraid to let you know the real me

No friend
No lover

Could make me see my own self worth
Too prideful to make a submission for help
Too stubborn to admit fault
I stand alone of my own free will

Struggles and challenges

I see now
Older and wiser
Dedication and fortitude
Stored within my character
Shall push forward ever on
Striving for the next day
Paving a path to what's better

I see the err of foolish young ways
Trials tribulations
Love and violence
However no changes would I make
The world made no better teacher

I am here
I am now

Aware of myself
Aware of the world

I still search
I know what I search for
It can not be  quantified
I search for mind body and soul

I now search with purpose.

Some nights. I see your blue eyes in my sleep. Not nightmare, yet not good sleep. Staring deep into my soul. Caressing dreams in and out, like a ramblin man singing the blues. I cannot awake with you there. My mind, my soul takes the torture in some masochistic fashion. I cannot look away for it is all our fault. You are dead, an eternal child. Never to know the woe of this world, and yet never to know the love of a woman, the love of  life. I'm sorry there was nothing we could do, we tried we tried we tried. Looking straight into my eyes with yours, I saw myself in the grey blue as life faded. I saw my future my past and my present. Those eyes almost perfect copies of my own. I write this to you as amends as apology. I will never forget that day, I will never forget your eyes. I will never forget your death.