she was ****** that i snapped at her
i told her sorry, i am concentrating
i didn't tell her that i snapped at her because she's annoying
i got out of the room,
crumpled clothes, pink backpack, messy hair,
and confused mind
did i do well?
why do i even care?
*it's okay. i feel full and i have a bottled water and a can of diet soda. it's okay.

I'll be happy.
I hope I'll not die tomorrow.
Or after tomorrow.
After tomorrow.
Then the rest follows.
I'll be happy.
I'll not rely on what others think of me.
I'll be free.
There'll be a smile on my face.
I'll buy a house by the sea.
I'll be happy.
I know I will.

tears were streaming down my face, my mother told me that i sounded sad and i told her that i'm okay but i am far from it
her voice made me cry,
my situation made me cry i wished that i was dead,
these people believing that i'm never going to be good made me cry

i cried until i ran out of tears
i'm never going to be good. never.

We stared at each other.
I swear I thought the Earth stopped rotating.
I looked at you like you were the only person around and
you looked at me like I'm the most unpleasant human being you've ever seen.
It ended.
The rotation continued.
I glanced at your retreating back.
You never looked back.

You waited for me to fall asleep.
And I waited for you to say that you like me too.
But you never did.

i know.
i know.
my future life
without you in it.
you'll be happy.
and i'll try not to break down.
my limbs will become weak,
my soul will be empty,
and my skin will sag...
and you'll still be happy.
i'll die alone and my body will be buried six feet under this soiled Earth.
and you'll still be happy.