Today was a long day, like all the rest.  I woke up in a place that doesn't feel like home, and I'll fall asleep in a place much the same.  As always, I've had a few thoughts on my mind I couldn't find a way to abandon or leave behind.  Some new, and sure to be gone by tommorrow, others that have haunted me for quite some time
Thoughts such as these; I have potential, but lack ambition,Why? What really matters to me? What would have to change for me to want to be the best I can be? It can't be my own suffering. I've long suffered in myriad ways, personal, societal, spiritual, physical.  I hate it, but I don't even know where to begin to change it.  The thought won't leave me
I think about the money I owe, and the money I make, and the world I live in. My car is dependable now, after nearly two years, and three I have bought. A few minor repairs from when I got it, but it runs well, which is a pleasant change. And a load off my mind, but I still owe money on a car that has repairs that cost more than I owe on it.  I suppose I will sell it for scrap, get all the money I can out of it. That one car I wrecked on a suicidal impulse got me a grand, I could use another grand even if it cost me four thousand over the next three years.  Cars.....**** cars
**** that I need them to survive.
I think about my father, he is 65 and it has been a year since I have seen him, I miss him dearly, and I don't know how much more opportunity I will have to spend time with him.  I know I need to be with him as much as possible.  But I never am
I think about a girl, three girls actually, but one more than the other two. I'm sure if she read this she would know who she is.  All three are smart, and beautiful, one is funny, one is altruistic, one is the one that I think about the most, for almost no reason.  I think about a girl.  She is beautiful even if she doesn't know it. I love her even if I didn't show it. And I would trade away my pride for her happiness.  I would gladly die that she could live forever.  Sadly, it seems she will be gone before I or any man has a chance to save her
I think about the world, and how its ending. And how I want to change it, and how I can't change myself

I will
As surely as the dawn brings light
Into dark and broken night
I will
But still
I know how forever feels
And the ugliness it reveals
But still
I will
Remember my name
And the reason I came
I will
Sing again
I will

It should be a home
I know
AM and PM
Home stereo
What good words will you say?
What good songs will you play?
Sun dials antenna
Broadwith
I ask you not broadcast
The low end of the spectrum
What good news do you bring?
What new song will you sing?
Eight-six the FM
I cannot listen anymore
It's music I suppose
From an evil radio

The eyes of the moon
I wish it were that
They watched over me

The skin held the scars
But still as always
Revealed a story

The moon is not real
I never got to
Hold her in my arms

I only ever felt
Her more than any
Ever felt before

I reach out a hand
But cannot touch you
I know what it means

The moon is not real

I dream a cemetery
Shadows and silhouettes taking the hand
And guiding the traveler to a grave
No morning comes with flowers
No hymns are sung
No prayer begun
I dream an empty planet
I'm afraid of the clouds where she might be
Lost in darkened hopeless sight
Where no sun is shining now
No stars
No horizon
I dream the birds are crying
A lingering pall and hidden tears
Wings are broken
Nest abandoned
And me
I dream a yellow field
Once with planted seeds
A scarecrow menace lurking
No warning
Only wind
The crow has gone away

Indicated by the moon
The way it rises
While its waning
Climbing a ladder to the height of the night
And looking back
At the ocean he loves

The moon forever dances with the ocean
The push and the pull
The tides follow suit
As moving feet from mystic memory
Some eternal truth
Some kind of love

The night is a time of beauty
When the blanket is the sky above
And the stars are there for us
To watch and guide us
On, along, to guide us home
They watch forever dance
And sing as spheres of song

If you listen you can hear
In our revelry the stars are smiling
As their hands of softest light
Lay the moon into the morning
And show us all
A better way to fall

The moon will sleep in peace inside the ocean

Dragons on a wing
Mid-afternoon
Purple and yellow blood
In empty fields

Release me
These chains that bind me in
Bog me down
And hold me back

Release

Dragons in the deep
And waiting
Dragons in the sky
That soar too high

And me
Relief
Coils serpentine
With own belief

Release

The last of dragons slain
By hateful menace
Seek fame and regard
Reward of gold

Release
Release me
From these tedious schemes
And this blood