He's 99 days away.
2397 hours.
So close.

The sunlight hits him,
Making his dark eyes a warm shade of brown.
His hair's a mess,
Mine is worse.
I don't care.

Because for a split second,
Nothing else matters.

If I were not human, I'd want to be a mountain.
Strong and wise,
Unchanged.
Tall.
Only those who work hard would make it to the top.
But if I weren't a mountain,
Or a human,
I'd want to be the ocean.
Wonderful and intriguing,
Lovely and dangerous.
I could be full of life as I gracefully swallow others whole.
But if I were not the ocean,
A mountain,
Or human,
I'd be a beach.
Even if you don't live near me,
Somehow my sand will still end up all over your house.
But I'm not a mountain,
An ocean,
Or a beach.
I'm slightly confused,
Lost on this mountain,
Sinking in this ocean,
And waking up amidst the sand.

And its the disappointment in their faces that gives the hardest blow.

That makes me want to run.

Because in this state I am no longer useful to them.

I am a burden

They've already got their perfect child, and I am not it.

My dreams are far to big for my limited options

My mistakes are too expensive.

And all I can do is sit and wait for the lecture to be over.

I hate it when thoughts of you keep me up at night

I hate it how your laugh-stained smile leaves an unforgettable imprint in my mind

And I hate I'm always scared, and I hate how I can't speak

I hate how you leave me breathless

So, I was thinking.... want to fall in love with me?

Brush stroke of lips on innocent skin.

First kisses are always the hardest ones to predict.

I know that one day all we'll ever be is a collection of mismatched, unedited moments....
And I'm fine with that.








I think.

Walking in the rain
it has this cleansing quality about it
so I walk with my face pointed up
and open mouthed
hoping to wash away
the sins of yesterday
with a one two step
I march down endless concrete sidewalks
counting each drop of water
as it splashes against my untied shoelaces
laughing like a little kid
splashing in the puddles
because rain means new beginnings

the orange glow from the fire
partially lit the man's face
catching each crack and valley in a shadow
"Gather round if you'd hear a tale"
a voice of gravel and coals
and too much moonshine
"once there was a young boy
the type of young boy,
who never leaves home
without his skinned knees,
and oh, what a boy he was
brave and good
yes once there was a boy
who was well and truly lost..."

once there was a boy
who had a thirst for adventure
that only young boys have
and there was an old forest
in his small village
ancient and mystic
possessing untold wisdom
it was said to be alive,
mothers told their children
to give it a wide berth
but some kids
just can't be told
the boy walked past the forest every day
and felt some great force
humming from deep inside
calling to him
enticing him,

One day it was too much
he packed his supplies
of bread and water
with his shoulders back
his chest puffed out
he walked on into that forest,

In the low afternoon light
the forest was pleasant
and the air stood sober, serene
shafts of light came down like spears from heaven
breaking through the clouds
and the thick forest canopy
but it was all a mirage
an oasis in the desert
and as the sun dipped below the earth
the forest began to change
and the boy stood true
foolishly thinking
that the dark is nothing to be scared of
how little he knew

The branches took on twisted new shapes
and the little demons came out to play
the wind in the trees
a groan of death
a groan of ******
the forest creek turned to ice
and the pathways all twisted
and formed circular paths
and before long
the boy was lost
now this was before telephones
and the boy was deep in the forest
he knew it was trouble for sure

Now the boy wasn't much good with directions
and he wasn't much good
at telling the time
and the canopy was so thick
that the north star was lost
but he still felt that humming
drawing him deeper into the forest
and he had no choice but to follow
so he walked
and he walked
and he walked some more
for many days
and many nights
his shoes were battered
his clothes,
***** and torn
and he grew skinny
from foraging nuts
but he climbed up hills
and crawled through thorns
and went deeper
into the forest
the humming was growing louder
with each wayward step
until it split his skull like a shriek
and he brought his palms to his temples
and carried on with a grimace
because the forest had filled the boy
with **** and grit and steel
and just when he thought he could no longer take it
he came upon a small pool
more like a natural well
of the clearest water he had ever seen
the world went quiet
only the vibrations of humming birds were heard
as the boy hunkered down over the water
and what he saw in the reflection
was strange and troubling
for it was no longer a boy
who returned his scowl
but a man
a rough man with a scraggly beard
so the boy no more
stood up,
turned around,
and went to find his home

"Now I know what you're thinking
old man you drank one too many drinks
and that's true,
my mind isn't what it used to be
but I know that forest
like an old friend
and mark my words
in the eyes of the Lord
I knew that boy once
a long time ago
and as for the man
well now he's an old man
sitting at a camp fire
telling tales to strangers
missing the adventures of boyhood
oh once there was a boy,
but no more,
no
more"