Tori: Favorites

May 2013 Tori

Sweet Hell

May 2013 Tori

Kacie

You were forever on my mind.

Your eyes,
Your dimples,
Your entire ******* face.

I stopped thinking for me
And started to think for you.

Will he like this shirt?
He won't like me if I gain anymore weight.
Does he prefer my hair up or down?

I should have ran then.

Now here I sit
Watching the waves roll in,
Completely devoid of emotion.

I've cried my heart out until i could cry no more.
I decided then to pack away my heart.

I wrapped it up in the newspaper from last Sunday.
The one that mentioned all the graduating seniors.
I whimpered a little when I read your name.

Then I placed it in a cardboard box.
I ****** in a deep breath when I realised
That box had your mixtapes in them.

I shoved the box that held my heart into the back of my closet;
The one you hid in when my parents came home unexpectedly.

I take a few deep breaths whenever I see that box.

I remember taking a sharpie and writing a few words on the top.

NEVER TRUST A BOY WITH GREEN EYES AND A GUITAR.

May 2013 Tori

no love

May 2013 Tori

Madisen Kuhn

no love

you fell in love with
late nights and soft kisses,
holding hands,
phone calls ending in
“i love you more.”

you fell in love with
someone knowing you
as well as you know yourself,
being seen when you
thought you were invisible,
comfortableness

you fell in love with
sparking short fights and
make up “i love you”s,
silent car rides and
quiet understandings

but you did not
fall in love
with me

May 2013 Tori

secrets kept

May 2013 Tori

Madisen Kuhn

secrets kept

some are hidden
by long sleeves
and baggy sweatshirts,
behind bloodshot eyes
and stale breath
written in light graphite
on crinkled sheets
in shoeboxes,
therapy sessions
and 2am text messages

May 2013 Tori

Blue Eye

May 2013 Tori

JL

Blue Eye

I have love for you
Rooted in my jawbone

Your secret perfume
Convection heat in a back seat

I want your thin fingers
Tangled in the web of my ribs

I want to lose you
In the honeycombed purple layers of my heart tissue

I will cradle your head on my sternum
Letting my lungs do the work

If only
Your elbows were not so sharp

Then I would crave the dig of your fingernails
Your pastures of hair
The butterfly tremble of your lips

Speechless- words no longer hold the weight
My tongue on the novel curves of your sigh
Tasting the twenty summers of your growth

Trembling due to lack of oxygen
Trembling at the onset of lust

The kneading want of knuckle bones
Drawing me ever closer to the colors of light

Static in the stereo of the
Cerebral cortex

Bunched nerves
Shocked into submission
By your bleached bone canines

Open and breathe
The quick pinch endocrine valves
Releasing steam

Drape me with your skin
Wrap me up in your pulsing warm veins

I bleed blue
On every day of the week

I am deafened
By the rage of your heartbeat

I am stricken dumb
The symphony of your eyelids
Swelling in my chest a familiar lust

The wind from your eyelashes
Could blow us out of this winter
And right into spring

All the days of the year
I bleed blue

The dedication of your palm
On my cheek
Warms me like a leaf in sunlight

Peel me layer from layer
You will find no lies in between the pages

I am your machine
Waiting to be properly lubricated
I cannot wait for our first day under the sun
I can't wait to get you out of the fluorescent lights
Of the Assembly line
We will journey together to forgotten realms
And sleep beneath the strange constellations

May 2013 Tori

goodbye

May 2013 Tori

Madisen Kuhn

goodbye

i should be glad
that you've moved on

that someone has filled
the spaces inside of you
i left vacant

that someone
will make you happy
in ways that i couldn't

that you're no longer
tormented by the aching
that i will never be yours

but i'm not
because i had a box
beneath my bed
in the shape of a heart
where yours was stored

i checked it today
and all that was left
was a note that read
"i now belong to someone else."

May 2013 Tori

let me in

May 2013 Tori

Madisen Kuhn

let me in

i've shown you
the depths of me
all the crevices
and trenches
the incomplete
darks and lights
of who i am

but i don't think
you'll ever let me past
the surface
of who you are

May 2013 Tori

"everyone winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight"

May 2013 Tori

Madisen Kuhn

"everyone winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight"

someone
fell in love
with my eyes
when they lit up
because of you

a grin like that
makes me weak
in the knees

too bad you're smiling
at her, not me

May 2013 Tori

Untitled #3

May 2013 Tori

Jacquelyn Audrey Whiston

Untitled #3

Even though we no longer speak
Your expectations are what I try to meet.

I hope you like my long hair,
Even though I want it cut.
I sometimes see you stare.
I want to kiss you but,
The bad times were too many.
The consequences could be
Deadly.

Oh my boy,
I miss you.
I miss you smirking at me.
****, I miss you looking at me,
And not looking sad.
I miss when you would play mad,
Just to see my pouty face,
When you would kiss me with force,
Just to put me in my place.

Oh my boy,
I miss you.
And your
Smirking,
Sweet
face.

What a hard habit to break..

May 2013 Tori

"normal"

May 2013 Tori

Madisen Kuhn

"normal"

there once was a young girl with green eyes
who wore her soft blond hair
in braided pigtails

at the age of seven,
she watched her older sister
stand in front of the mirror before school
and pinch her stomach with a disgusted face
          neither of them ate breakfast that morning

at the age of nine,
she watched her older brother
make fun of a girl with glasses
for reading on the bus
          she went home and hid all her books in the attic

at the age of twelve,
she watched the older girls at school
with straight hair and short skirts
put makeup on in the bathroom
and discuss how boys would only like you
if you looked perfect, like them
          the next day she arrived with red lips, short shorts, and no braided pigtails

at the age of fourteen,
she watched her father hit her mother for the first time
her mother cried when she saw her standing in the doorway
and told her daddy didn't mean it
          the next year, she told herself that her boyfriend didn't mean it, either

at the age of sixteen,
she was paper thin and empty
with straight blond hair, red lips,
purple flesh, and lifeless green eyes
          while staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror,
          she thought to herself "at least i'm normal."

May 2013 Tori

Hello

May 2013 Tori

Sydney Victoria

Hello

The Rays Of The Summer Sun Tickled My Skin,
Your Hair, So Many Shades Lighter Than Mine,
Sparkled, As You Walked The Other Way,
I Tried To Yell To You, But My Voice Was Only
A Timid Whisper In The Cool Breeze Which Sway,
Through My Fingers As I Reached For You

As You Disappeared, My Heart Sank To My Toes,
I Bent My Head So No One Would See My Pain,
And As I Opened My Emerald Eyes,
Someone Tapped My Shoulder, And Said,
*"Hello"

Everything Is Always Able To Even Itself Out