Don't know how I made it this long in this condition, seven years from one decision, I know you don't like to listen, it looks so easy but it isn't, there's so much hidden, so much you'll never know, they've been through enough so there's so much I'll never let show, I'm afraid I can't keep it hidden though, the years have taken there toll, the tears continue to roll, another late night stroll, I'm sorry for all the time I stole, I honestly thought you were the one, you made me turn around when I was about to run, you took my hand even though you knew everything I had done, but you were as heartless as they come, made me contemplate making her burry another son, faced everything I had ever hidden from, one day I'll forget that part of my life, but not tonight..

At a young age I fell in love with the stars, I dreamt of making a home amongst them, but deep down I knew that they would always be just out of reach.
Then the day came that our paths crossed, the first time I looked into your eyes I saw them, the very things I had spent my life wishing for, I saw hope, a future, so much endless possibility, I saw the stars.
But that view wouldn't last long, I never listened when they told me of your wicked ways, how you would use me and leave me lying broken on the ground after you had what you wanted.
Never would I have imagined things ending up the way they are now, I was so certain I knew how it all ended, I was just so sure I was right.
I put everything I had into loving you, but that was never enough for you was it, I lost myself in those stars, I lost myself in you..

It used to be the demons under my bed
Now they're the demons in my head
Constantly demanding to be fed
Eating at my sanity till it's gone
Every last shred..

Writing with an aching thumb, my hand is beginning to go numb, head pounding like a drum, but my thoughts continue to run, writing through the night until I see the morning sun, frost covered limbs, but it's melting as the sunrise begins, everything seems so clear when the darkness ends, childish sneers turn to devilish grins, the start of just another day with these demons that I call friends..

The piano sits in a dark corner crying, the violin screams as he lay dying, it appears as though his heart is no longer trying, what happened to the hope it was supplying, left somewhere on a distant moon drying, who can be blamed for such an act, foolishly thinking the love was an undeniable fact, never once realizing the feelings she lacked, following the pain it is so easily tracked, the source of it all rests in one place, and you thought your heart would be safe, thoughts of changing my life came just a little too late..

Sometimes i wonder who you would have been, would you have led the world out of darkness or lived a life of sin, your death was paid for before your life even had a chance to begin, not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind, searching for sanity knowing that its something i will never find, don't you know i left so much of myself behind, not a second thought as i continued to climb, closed my eyes as i crossed that line, slowly tearing myself apart over time, you would lose it all with a single glance at this mind of mine, sanity is something i haven't known for almost ten years, looking around at the addicts and madmen that are my peers, bloodshot eyes leaking tears, believe me i understand why this addiction has become one of their biggest fears, at sixteen i started living life according to those Tripp laws, devoted my life to that beast without pause, praying i didn't meet its claws, young and reckless living with no real cause, how can i look to the future when i can't even see past my own flaws, **** i remember when this trip **** was just a weekend habit, but at the first sign of trouble i just had to have it, watched my sanity slowly slip away but these helpless arms just couldn't grab it, i used to pray for death every single night, figured it would be easier than that approaching fight, leading a life of sin death only seemed right, went right back to the darkness after i saw that light, lost all hope of changing my life, caught my reflection just the other night, **** that was such a sad sight, looking into dull gray eyes wondering when they stopped being so **** bright, why is death such a familiar sight, why aren't you here by my side tonight..

Thoughts of those last thirty six, death and reality a perfect mix, labeled dex the perfect fix, life and death what would you pick, so many grams it was sick, three after the first eight did the trick, walking under a forgotten moon, looked to the sky and whispered I'll see you soon, strangers and loved ones filled the room, nine followed by a mental boom, when it rains it pours and this a mental monsoon, whats death to the dead, thoughts of leaping over the edge swimming through my head, open my eyes and I'm laying in bed, roll over and let the trip begin, a past filled with so much sin, but I say I'm more than the person I was back then, oh but then again, I guess I will find out when I reach my end, sadly I think death is my only real friend, at least he doesn't have to pretend..