-In that moment she takes a deep breath and she says I’m done and it’s over
-In that moment she chooses herself over him and decides to be the strong person everyone knows her to be
-In that moment she refuses to let him see her hurting anymore she’s going to be just fine
-In that moment she is finally free

Daddy’s doing better now ..not yelling quite as much .,not telling me to sit at home alone and such ..he no longer yells about the small things that never really mattered ..he just simply hints that he knows I can do better ..he still stays at home a lot alone cause I’m not there but now he doesn’t even show that he even really cares
I want to spend time with him and make things better for us ..but I always ***** things up instead and then things are all a mess ..I try to be better and not be gone so much but I hate to be at home afraid I might mess up. I do not want to make him mad again when things for him are well  ..I wish I could crawl into a shell and lock myself away from him ..it’s a living hell
I want a better relationship ..a father daughter one ..where we can be together not in two different rooms but one. i need him to be there for me ..I need to know he cares .. i need to see the things about me that he cannot bear ..so I sit here all alone and i wait for him to share ..to open up to me.. this isn’t fair..I guess I will continue to wait for him, to need me in some way.. daddy’s doing better now ..without me, Sad to say

His tiny little fingers reach up to me ..and mommy’s on his lips.. I reach down and pick him up ..and give those lips a kiss.

Mommy loves you

The walls around me crumble
The ground continues to shake
This can’t be happening again
Another heartbreak
I opened up
I let you in
You were just another fake
But I met you for a reason
You were never a mistake
Just a lesson from above
But how much more can this heart take
I’m here
I’m listening
I’m finally awake

My world is so dark and cold but to the world this is unknown .. i sit in a crowded room alone and wonder why Im here.

The smile upon my face just a mask I wear that’s fake ..to conceal what’s trapped inside and the judgement I can’t take

Where did I go wrong .. somewhere along the way .. I lost myself in fighting for someone to save the day.

I gave my heart to everyone and sat alone and prayed .. that someday id stop searching for The ones who got away

wondering why I wasn’t good enough and what could I do to change ..the minds of all the others who turned their hearts away

I’m just a girl searching for the light inside to chase the darkness away

I don’t want you back
You bring only misery and pain
But you keep me here arms length away      just in case you need something
you know I’d give it all away
You use me
You take advantage of my pain
You never loved me.. not one single day
You torture me
You know just what to say
But I’m not listening anymore
I wish you’d go away
Disappear back into the nothingness from which you came

But I’m not strong enough to send you away.. maybe someday.. but that day is not today

I take a walk in a garden.. beautiful colors throughout ..no one to bother no questions to be asked ..just peace and no hourglass ..no time to be in ..nothing to be tied to ..no lies no hate no one else to relate ..I realize that this is peaceful.

Also that I’m all alone in the middle of the unknown ..no one to talk to no future to be told ..nothing, I am trapped and cannot seem to find my way out ..I am spinning and spinning and spinning about ..what happens next I know without a single doubt ..I fall to the ground and let out a loud shout

Slowly unconscious darkness floods over me as the blood flows from my head ..then I am dead. Dead i lie in a single peaceful garden ..just peace and no hourglass ..just restful sleep and silence