I take a walk in a garden.. beautiful colors throughout ..no one to bother no questions to be asked ..just peace and no hourglass ..no time to be in ..nothing to be tied to ..no lies no hate no one else to relate ..I realize that this is peaceful.

Also that I’m all alone in the middle of the unknown ..no one to talk to no future to be told ..nothing, I am trapped and cannot seem to find my way out ..I am spinning and spinning and spinning about ..what happens next I know without a single doubt ..I fall to the ground and let out a loud shout

Slowly unconscious darkness floods over me as the blood flows from my head ..then I am dead. Dead i lie in a single peaceful garden ..just peace and no hourglass ..just restful sleep and silence

I long for you
I long to see your face .. feel your embrace.. Leap right off into space
I long for you
I long to hear your soft gentle voice.. i long for your simple choice (that’s me)
I long for you
I long for you and you alone ..the one who makes me feel at home..wrap me tightly in your arms safe so far away from harm..
i long for you ..
I long for you to hear me calling
I long to have you here..
I long for you
I long for the warm nights under the stars when we’re so far off close to Mars ..
I long for you
I long for you but you cannot hear ..possibly because you are not near..
I long for you yet you do not exist I long for you and I long for your kiss

The windows are open ..I hear the cars drive by ..a cool night air is flowing in.. I’m running out of time

It should be peaceful but tell that to my mind ..the scattered thoughts inside my head .. they will not stop, they are not mine

I cannot enjoy this life .. i want so much to feel.. I am so numb ..I’m sad ..then angry ..the emptiness inside me still

With each passing moment I’m reminded that you’re not here.. that I’m not good enough and that you just don’t care..But life ticks by and I’m wasting it I fear

I want that love at first sight feeling ..the one where I am yours. The one where I can kiss your lips the one where I’m you’re choice. I miss the sound of your voice ..I miss the way that you kiss me. I miss the way when i came home from work you were the only one who missed me. I want The love where you are right here with me.The one where when I’m afraid ..i know you’ve got my back and you know that I’ve got yours. The I don’t wanna face this world alone and I don’t have to when my heart is yours.

I can feel myself slipping..The road I’m on is dark..I’m standing still again..This stupid *** heart

My mind it knows the pain and the toxic that you are ..but my heart it just remembers ..how it felt to be apart.. like it was written in the stars. A love so deep i felt it deep within my heart.

But time tells a different story ..one where I aim to please but fail. The one where you don’t hold me close you hide you’re true feelings and tuck your tail.

You simply walked away from me and left me in the dark ..you left me in this emptiness.. a bleeding broken heart ..nothing left to say.. and string me along day after endless day

When will this cycle end and when will i be free .. the moment when I open my eyes and I can finally see. I dream about this moment I’ve been there before ..a different me .. I want to shut you out and to throw away that key.

I thought of you again today.. a distant memory.. it’s weird with you all I feel is pain and misery usually.. but today a thought came so vividly.. a thought of when we were in love, so heavenly.

I used to dream of you .. a dream where we’d get lost.. together for eternity .. blissful love and chaos.. but you gave up on me ..the love we had got lost..you moved on and left me in the dust..

I hope you love her more than me.. a love that knows no lust.. no pain other than the pain of me.. a time without your trust.

I hope you last forever and I hope you’ve somehow changed.. I hope you see the future with her and not the chains.

I want you to be happy.. I wanted that with me.. but for us my love.. it just wasn’t meant to be

I know that I can do this ..I can get back up again.. i’ve done it all before ..there’s no doubt I have the will. It’s Just the wondering inside my mind that won’t be still.. that’s what makes me second guess the feelings that i feel.. its the deciding which feelings are even real.

So as I wallow in the pain .. ashamed is how i feel.. I let someone down again ..a feeling that’s too real.. the person I let down was me and before, Id promised her ..I’d never let her down again but here we are.. you see.. Broken and alone again as Id said it would never again be