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Tommy Feb 2016
That I could listen to your melodic voice once more
Hear the gentle breeze of summer Ease your words from your mouth
And watch them lift the world around
Like the greenest leaves which have fallen from their trees
Watch your eyes glisten in the midday sun
Admiring the beauty of your work
This world is a lighter place for your brain
It is easier to glance upon
And see the
Truth in its existence
I would compare you to a summer's day
But I am only too sure
That it was your creation.
Tommy Sep 2015
A line crosses the sky
Horizon to horizon
I count the seconds
Before it fades into the big blue.

Dappled sun shines down from heaven
Through leaves reaching up from their branches,
Burning in a light
Stronger than man.

Sweat trickles down
Like honey; thick
It marks my skin;
Golden, sweet, sticky.

Early evening heatwave,
Late afternoon sun
A fresh breeze sweeps away yesterday
While tomorrow has already gone...
Sun
Tommy Apr 2014
Sun
Your eyes shine brighter than the sun
And try as I might,
I can't look away.
I will go blind
If it means I get one more glance,
One more look
At your beauty and splendor.
I just want to qualify that's not actually true :P
Tommy Mar 2014
If your eyes
Do not look to the sun,
Then I wonder where it is
They look
To view the beauty of this world.

As I look around me,
All I see is poverty,
Cowering next to immense greed,
People begging
At the feet of those who have far more than they could ever need,
And yet still refuse to share it.
I see the people walking past,
Blind to the injustice of what is happening,
And ignorant to the extent to which they are controlled.

And even still, I see the grey shadows all around me,
Clouding my own view,
Blocking me from the world through which I travel.
And so I wonder,
How can you know beauty
If you've never even seen the sun?
Tommy Nov 2014
Take me away on a lily pad boat
Push it away from the shore
Let the current catch us and carry us downstream
I can't take this anymore.

We can dance with the frogs
And do the dragonfly waltz
Sing the kingfisher's song
And swim with the ducks
I want to forget all that's gone wrong.

I'll only weep in the shade,
In the company of the willows
Never again will I have to cry alone
And I'll float like a feather
In the cool summer breeze
And leave all the lives I have known.

I can sway with the reeds in a little rockpool
Let the seaweed tangle in my hair
Let the sand become my skin
And replace my eyes with shells
I'll let this water replace my air.

The mud at the bottom of this babbling brook is thick
And it's urging me further, tugging at my feet
I'm too tired for this, I can't fight it anymore...
Whoever said death could be sweet?
Opehelia open your eyes!
Tommy May 2014
I've been dreaming about you,
Your warm beauty emanating
Like the glow of a new star,
Your smile lighting my nights
And your sweet voice lulling me deeper
Into your realm of dreams.

You remain nameless,
I don't want to ruin the illusion
And no word I can think of
Quite describes you,
No name is beautiful enough
To be yours.

I do hope I meet you one day,
Outside of the dream realm,
So I can feel the satin touch
Of your light fingers across my skin,
Share the song that is your voice
And your heart finding its way out
Of the cage in which it is enclosed.

I will know you then by name,
A name I will only have to hear once
Before I fall madly, deeply and passionately
In love with everything about you.
So please, my guardian angel,
Find a way to merge our realms
I am sick of waiting
For the release of sleep
To see your face.
Tommy Jun 2015
Sweet wine
They won't tell you about the dark times
We can stare up at the stars
At the galaxies way up out of our reach
Passing round a bottle
Talking about nothing
And laughing with the universe
We are small
And night time is short
The grey skies always disappear
And the good times always end

Sweet wine is boiled away
The kick is lost
And the bottle is dripped empty
The moon fell
Behind that hill over there
And the sun is creeping up on us
Hoping we won't notice
For a while we don't care
Our minds faded
Nothing exists in that moment
Until the sun is risen
And the light is so bright it blinds us

Sweet wine is distilled
Sweet wine rots away
Worms crawl in through the cracks in the walls
The barricade we built against reality crumbles
And the bad times come rushing in
Like a wave
Devastating the small moment we made
This small life we were living
Under the stars and the galaxies
Hidden in the middle of nowhere
Unimportant and invisible

Sweet wine
The bottle has shattered
My blood spills down my arms
Dripping tracks onto the floor
Like a gingerbread trail
Leading to the witches' den
Where the oven heats up
The blood pours
But there's fight in me left
As we rally our troops against the shadows
Reality need no longer exist
We will remain free
With no weight on our shoulders
Only wine in our blood
photos fade but these memories never will
Tommy Feb 2014
I'm learning not to cry anymore,
I'm learning not to care
I'm learning not to take the tags off,
I'm learning to prepare

I'm learning not to play the game,
Everyone else can play it better
I'm learning just to cover myself up with a worn out, beat-up sweater

I'm learning what I was told to love
Is what should make me so ashamed
I'm learning that I'm not good enough
I just don't fit in your frame

I've learnt I'm not an autonomous being
You hold all control
I've learnt I can't avoid your grasp
My freedom you stole.
I hate shopping for clothes!
Tommy May 2014
Your technology gives you away
I didn't ask it to tell me
But when I went on our last conversation
It showed me the last time you'd seen it,
About 20 minutes before I had.
You're doing exactly what I am,
I don't think you want to let go
Not yet
Even though I know we need to.
I just have one question,
That drunk message you sent me,
Does it betray you more than you'd hoped?
You're the one who ended it, why would you still be telling me those things?
Tommy May 2013
I don't remember the first time I saw you,
Your sunshine eyes and golden hair
Were hidden from my view
As I looked past you, and to the rest,
All of the people, plainly dressed,
To the front and to the teacher,
Rabbi, Priest, Guru, Preacher
Of a faith I didn't want
And a lesson I didn't need.

They say it's true love at first sight,
But try as hard as I might,
I can't remember loving you,
At that moment, right on cue,
Or even when we first went out
My heart didn't flutter, scream or shout
With pure emotion, love or lust
Instead a slight murmur, just
A flutter in my stomach.

Maybe this wasn't meant to last,
But it shouldn't have ended quite so fast,
Or I don't think so anyway,
Because I just can't keep my heart at bay,
The love came slowly,
You can believe me,
I fell for you,
Head over heels,
And you let me down.

Thanks, babe.
Tommy Feb 2014
I was always too young to understand what was actually going on in your head,
Though I don't think even you knew completely.
You wouldn't tell us about it though;
We were children,
Too naive,
You didn't want us thinking about that kind of thing anyway.
The closest I got to understanding,
Was the time you cried,
The only time I had ever seen you crack.
She wasn't there to help us out,
So we sat with you,
We cuddled,
And I handed you some tissues,
But you didn't explain.
We were too young to understand that kind of thing anyway.
There's always been a part of me that thought I was your favourite.
I was always your little princess,
I could get away with anything.
But I think my stubbornness as a child scared you a little,
I hadn't mean to make you upset that time,
But she was much easier to entertain,
And easier to get along with.
I think you interpreted that as her being my favourite.
And though I've grown out of that stubbornness,
I think you still think the same thing;
You've not got enough confidence to understand this kind of thing anyway.
When I said goodbye the other day,
Though I don't think you saw it,
I was on the verge of tears.
Sometimes I worry you don't quite realise how much you mean to me,
That I don't have favourites,
And those worries make it so much harder to leave.
I don't speak about it with you often,
It would be a strange conversation for me to have,
But if you knew how much I spoke about you to everyone,
If you knew how highly I thought of you as a person,
Not just as my father,
I think it would help you come round.
But we're not around each other enough for that to happen,
And I think there's a part of you that's still too stuck in your head to understand that kind of thing anyway.
Tommy Feb 2015
My chest feels heavy
Filled with wine
Bitter, purple and with a bad aftertaste.
With each beat
It's like a wave crashing to shore
Constricting my trachea
And splashing into my lungs.
There's no space to breathe here.
Seeping through my body
Turning my blood to poison,
*******, sweet, thick poison
That stings as it runs its way
Through my veins.
Lift me from this heavy sleep
From the purple bed
With too many covers
Silky, suffocating me.
Take me far away,
To some tropical beach,
With soft, glistening sand
And a sea bluer than the sky
Fill me life with light and air
Let me breathe deeply and feel it
Cleanse my blood,
Fill me
As though I were a balloon.
From there I will say our happy goodbyes,
As I float away into the big blue.
hmm
Tommy Dec 2013
sometimes i wonder
is this all we could have been?
this mundane little bubble
and all that lies therein?

all there is to do,
all the places we are needed
all the problems we have caused
and the progressions we've impeded

soothed by the exchange of a small piece of paper
for useless items we're told we need
to fit into an image of a generic person
complicit in a culture we immortalize and breed

or others by their own conviction
in a set of rules older than this
to tell them how to make decisions
and promise them eternal bliss

each taught not to question preachings
or face some form of indefinite sanction
to remain obedient to a master
legitimizing the subsequent action

i don't understand.

how can this be the epitome of civilisation
so full of ignorance and hatred
we fail to see the beauty that surrounds?

how can this be the epitome of human intelligence
that we need glass screens for communication
and lenses to record our every movement?

how can this be the epitome of the human existence
that inequality is perpetuated
and poverty ignored?

one day you will realise what it is you have done
in your desperate bid for power.
you doomed the endurance of your kind
for the sake of one, tall tower.
(or two, but is that too political?)
just in the middle of a mini existential crisis after the realisation that all of the ways in which i may form and express my identity make me compliant  in this system (i know that sounds pretentious, particularly coming from a 17 year old)
Tommy Jan 2014
i don't know how to express this poetically
so i'm just going to say it straight up,
i am completely and entirely stuck.
drawn in by the allure of the meaningless beauty,
the simplicity and the dead-end,
i don't know how to get out of the circle,
find the real truth or how to transcend
above the endless ******* hurled my way
to distract me from what really matters
i want to know about the real world's existence,
not the riches, but all of the tatters
ignored by a society completely apathetic
to all that these numbers need
just because they don't fit your aesthetic,
because your eyes they cannot please

it doesn't matter what i say now
i am but merely a child
i don't think you'll listen to what i say,
whether i praise you,
or your views i revile

i want to know what i can do to change,
this all seems too trapped in tradition
of leaving behind you a wake of lifeless bodies,
as you were so ignorant in your blind ambition.

i know you're not there to do what you should,
you only came for the power
you only came to be paid a lot more,
and to live high up in your tower
away from all of the '****'
you pretend to represent,
but whom you secretly chide,
you're only there to fuel a growing ego,
your heart will explode from your pride.

if i was religious, although i am not,
i know that God would scorn you for your greed,
and however forgiving your God may be,
i am sure that your ears would bleed
upon learning He thinks you were a terrible person
not what you were cracked up to be
and soon enough the bleeding would worsen
until there was nothing left to leave

I don't know much,
but i do know this:
i will strive to never be like you
for all the bad you have brought to this world
far outweighs any good you could do
so, someone out there, please teach me how
how to make a change in this life
for although i may have it easier than others
my heart will never relax while such strife
continues in the world
ignored by the masses
all but a couple times of the year
and i will fight for your rights
your right to survive
until my own end is near.
"o my body, make of me a man who always asks questions!" Franz Fanon
Tommy Jun 2013
Golden eyes
In a flash of red
A solemn growl
And a lover dead

A beating heart
Lying on the ground
A love once thought lost,
Once again found

A cry of mercy
In the midst of the night
A howl of a wolf
Of the highest might

Then silence, it comes,
Encompassing the land
A sorrow so heart breaking
Too hard to withstand.

And now the feeling won’t go,
Won’t leave me alone
The idea’s there
The seeds have been sewn

But you’ll never come back
To this life we once cherished
All that we had
Has died and has perished.
Tommy May 2013
I do so hope you're not as lost as I,
My young, beloved warrior.
Why that tear bedims your eye,
As you charge forth to your death

I hope you know what you're fighting for,
My passionate, silly lover boy
Why you chose to end your life before
Any of it had even started

I want to know why, naive, young man
You went and left me here alone,
To sit and wonder how I can
Bring you back to me

But every time you hear that name,
I see you burn with anger,
I see your heart burst into flame
With a passion I'll never understand

I don't know what it did to you,
That one inglorious monster,
Of the pain you feel I have no clue
Or of the terrors which came after

So come back to me once more my love,
Don't let it ruin all you care for
And I will help you rise above
The anger and the pain
Just a disclaimer to say this is not about anything that is currently happening in the world, but if that is how you interpret it , I don't mean any offence or to upset anyone :)
Tommy Mar 2015
two summers, one winter this year
we can forget about autumn for now
that's just the sunset into the darkness
two summers and one winter

two countries as of yet
on opposite sides of the hemisphere
two different night skies under one moon
two countries aross one big water

two languages are spoken
two worlds possessed
at the slight of a tongue
two worlds of words and rhyme

two lives from this point
i learnt how to be a person
and now i can't remain
two separate lives and two separate beings

two days have passed
since i returned to this life
of night time walks
and restlessness
two days of darkness

two more months to go
until i can fly from this caged nest once more
see all that i want to, a million different sunsets
two more months under these grey skies
i really hate that ending
Tommy Jun 2015
Thoughts of an inconsequential nature
Don't actually listen
Or I'm afraid you'll really hear me
I just need to vent
And yours is the friendliest face
I can think of.

Please don't take them the wrong way.
about my blog
openletterstodt.blogspot.com
check it out and let me know what you think?
Tommy Jul 2015
I will never look
how I have always looked
My skin will fade
It will wilt
It will crumble.
Like a mountain
To the wrath of the sea
Time will engulf me
Shape me
Change me.
I will not love as I have loved;
Cautiously,
Unwittingly,
Untruthfully
I will not speak as I do now;
Freely-
As with youth comes great ignorance.
My mind will fill itself
With more life
Than I had ever imagined I'd live
Though it will remain open
Until the very moment
At which I draw my final breath
And let the tide sweep me away.
Tommy Nov 2014
I'm too naive for this.
I let myself fall once more into your arms
I let your lips graze mine
And I let you whisper those sweet nothings to me
As we lay in the dark
My stomach churning.

Don't you ever pull me into your arms again.
I let you do it that one night
Drunk, lonely and sad,
But your even drunker self the next night
Seemed to misunderstand the lack in continuity.
I never want to walk you home again.

I will never let myself into your grasp again,
As far as I can control
But calling me to your bedroom
On false pretenses
Even if "For the sake of your roommate"
Was not fair,
And I did not share in your laughter.

I will never miss your hold again
As your sober hands found their way across my body
I stopped them
And I tried to remind you of that all important word
A hint that went unnoticed.
That, dear friend, was unforgivable.

Tell me you love me one more time
And I won't be polite anymore.
All those conversations
And you still couldn't fathom
The dual nature of our situation
I DON'T WANT THIS
I hope I make myself clear.

Someone once told me 'stay in contact with your exes'.
To an impressionable, idealistic fifteen year old
And though an innocent observation,
I don't think as a middle-aged man
His experiences in romance would be comparable
To those of a naive, inexperienced, insecure young woman.
I like the sentiment,
But I don't know if it would really be wise,
Given what's already happened.
I know it wasn't your fault, I was confused too, but as the older, more experienced of the two, I was hoping you wouldn't have been thinking quite so self-centered as you were.
Tommy May 2014
i don't know whether to hate you or not
you did the right thing,
though it broke my heart
but was it naive of me to genuinely believe
you might still want to be my friend?
i do try talking to you,
but it's hard to keep up the conversations
and this time,
i want to be the one in control
after having lost it for such a long time.

i know you're not really okay
but unfortunately my dear,
i can't change that for you
and no one but yourself can get you to
make that all important move.

i know you're doing what's best for you
and, in the long run,
probably me too,
but it still hurts when you ignore me
with such frequency
for such lengths of time,
when it's still fresh in my head
a time i could hardly go a day
without your contact.

i'm not asking to have you back,
nor is that something i would really want,
i don't think,
but if you could just help me out,
would you rather i hated you and we never spoke,
or can you find it in you to talk to me back,
like you promised you would?
think on that, would you please? and get back to me ASAP dear, i have other things to think about too.

i can't think of a title?
Tommy Apr 2014
If I stay silent
Maybe if I just don't open my mouth
The screams and the cries
Won't find their way out

I am scared that if I begin to say
What's really going on in my head
The demons will force themselves
From my stomach out into my world
Where I can see them

I don't know how to explain to you
That I feel as though my insides are crumbling
And my brain is shutting down
While they take control

I want you to help me stop them
But I can't open my mouth
If they find a way out
They become real
And I don't think I'm ready for that
Tommy May 2014
What's one more drop
In the ocean
Of a water so salty
It leaves tracks on the skin
And renders it
Weak and painful

And what's one more run
Of your tongue
Across your dry lips
Before you feel the skin crack
And the taste of blood
Covers your tongue

And what's one more look
Across the room
To the gap left by your absence
And you feel your heart shudder
And your stomach drop
As a jolting pain
Fills you up
Will you find a way out?
the first stanza was inspired by this poem:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/708829/no-boundaries/
thanks for the inspiration!
Tommy Apr 2015
i came from the sea
reflected by the moon
and as the waves broke around me
i heard a solemn tune

the water fell around me
making circles around my immersed head
the light shone through like glitter
as my heart dragged me down like lead

the sand beneath my feet was soft
making mountains between my toes
the seaweed stroked my saturated skin
and as she sang her song i rose

pulled like the tide towards her voice
she coaxed me, ever nearer
and as the final drips slipped from my feet
the song, it only became clearer

she sang a song of sorrow
while my heart it turned and twisted
her voice it grew in volume
and my ears could not resist it

i've been stripped of all i'm worth
as i stand here, alone and naked
and my heart still cries and mourns
though the song has long since faded
hate the ending on this one too
Tommy Nov 2014
Close your eyes
Shut your mouth
Open your mind
And restart your heart.
Breathe.
Live this moment for a century
before you move onto the next one.
Treasure it.
Feel each pulse of your heart
like a beat of thunder through the sky
Feel it resonate
down the spines
of all who surround you.
Feel your presence:
Absolute.
Now let the silence envelop you once more.
We are all small
But we are all here
And before long we will all be gone,
Bar the marks and scars we left upon this world.
Life is short but it's the longest thing I'll ever experience. It's okay to slow down, but I must never forget to appreciate the beauty and wonder of it all (if I could only find the right people to share it with, I'm sick of this lonliness)
Tommy May 2014
why the **** would you set fire to a ******* university, starting with its library,
all in the name of what they would like to call "democracy"?
this is a situation you have all seen so many times before,
with exactly the same perpetrators,
by exactly the same means
for exactly the same ends
and you have the cheek to call that man a dictator?
a man who worked solely to improve the lives of those around him who were in suffering?
a man who would work up to 18 hours a day, day-in, day-out for 18 years to actually democratize his country and tried so hard to lessen the wealth gap
a man who went on tv every day to communicate with those he represented, listening to their concerns and grievances and actually addressing them?

you complain about the lines outside the shops, and **** right you should.
you complain about the violence and the destruction of communities, and **** right you should.
but if you dare say one more time it was his fault, or it's the fault of his successor you can shut the **** up right now.
it's who it always was, acting on the motivation they've always had: accumulation of capital.
people have died at their hands for centuries, hundreds of millions of innocent civilians' lives exchanged for your wealth
and you have the cheek to call him a bad man?

he is in the league of people who put their lives on the line for what they knew was right,
who were so committed to that vision of
purity,
of equality
of beauty
but you tarnish their names by lumping them together with whiny children, privileged brats who know nothing of the world but are bored,
all because you know these figures
these freedom fighters and heroes
are right,
and are thus a threat to your piles of gold
(each pile covering another pile of bodies)
sorry for the rant i'm so angry
Tommy Oct 2015
Snow baked fun,
I found you in a storm
You'd already had all your adventures
But you showed me the pictures

The fun has long since ended
But I found your journal
You'd written down everything you'd ever seen
You were telling me how you wanted the world to be

You don't have blue eyes
And neither do I
But you still asked me about the world under my skies
And my answers were just as poetic as your photo album

I have a lot more to see in this life
And while the storm still rages
And the fog lays low
I know I'll see that rainbow about which you wrote

And I know the beauty will one day shine through
Past the evil and all the sorrow
And as the snow melts and the clouds part
The sun'll come out...
the bit about the blue eyes is a reference to Bob Dylan's A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall
Tommy Mar 2015
must i always battle heartbreak,
or living a life on my own?
i'm just as brave as they are,
though my courage seems much less well known

they're always given the dragons
and the sword fights on the plank of a ship
or late-night drag races through deserts
and big wars fought in cold mists

my fights are just as dramatic,
i've fought dragons and ogres and then...
but you ignore all my assets for simplicity
and so it is left to my pen

were i not myself i'd be legendary,
you'd know my bravest of hearts
you'd know all of my scars and their stories
and you would know of my life from its start

i'm not sorry i'm not like them,
i've done what i have because i'm me
so for know i guess i'll have to settle
for our same old backbench in history

one day  maybe you'll read them;
the stories of my battles and wars
and maybe then you'll apologise-
we all know my life was much greater than yours
Tommy Mar 2014
File up
In a single line
Until I can see
But one silhouette

From there you will march,
March until your feet bleed
And the soles of your shoes are worn down.
Do not stop
Until I give the order.

Hand me your possessions
And remove all accessories
You are one
You are not individuals.

I will present to you a selection
But you must choose one route
You may not divert
From the course I have given you.

Now tell me you're free
Tell me you have a choice
Tell me you have an identity
That is separate to theirs.

Welcome to conditioning.
Please leave your shoes at the door, the carpets have just been cleaned
Tommy Sep 2015
Welcome to the party
In this strange, mixed up world
We're bursting with anxiety and ecstasy
Leading lives of curiosity and boredom
The everyday alongside the exceptional
Eating pasta straight from the pan
Next to your friend
Who's having heart palpitations
While googling rare medical conditions.

The kitchen is full of chatter
I can hear their giggles and shouts
As I watch the bystanders
On the outside
I don't think they want to come in
Just carefully watching
And the girl with anorexia
Her only *** is collecting dust
In her open cupboard.

Now in the halls come the swathes of people
Phones out, books in hands
Not all of them are laughing;
Their coffees clutched close
But the mindless chatter floats above
My heart fluttering
As the day of judgement approaches
Wearing heavy shoes for heavy footsteps
And opens the door.

The wind rustles through the park
As leaves, orange; brown, fall from their branches
Businessmen sit amongst the nature
Eating their packed lunches
While dogs play in the leaves
Their owners weaving in and out of bushes
And everybody pretends
They're not staring at the man
Doing meditation in the middle of the green.

Welcome to the party,
I bet you never thought it would be like this
Take the clutter from your brain
And throw it up there:
Can you see the tangled net above your head?
They came here to have fun
And it's turning sour now
There's no air left in here
And no one knows how to open that door.
I don't know how we're going to get out
You
Tommy Dec 2012
You
All you are
Is a pair of eyes,
Big round discs in the dark,
With the tallest ears,
And the widest smile,
And the voice of a singing lark,

And I love you more than I could have imagined,
Your face imprinted in my brain,
The day you leave the world will be saddened,
The darkest shadow of a stain.

All you say
Is a metaphor,
For the love you give to the world,
Your brain it soars
Through the clouds above,
Listening to all there is to be heard,

And I love you more than I could have imagined,
Your face imprinted in my brain,
The day you leave the world will be saddened,
The darkest shadow of a stain.

All you see
Is the beauty,
Of everything you will ever pass,
Like a shooting star,
Or a stranger’s smile,
For the light you bring will always last,

And I love you more than I could have imagined,
Your face imprinted in my brain,
The day you leave the world will be saddened,
The darkest shadow of a stain.

— The End —