When I said I didn't need the idea of you,
Well, maybe I was wrong,
I'm not sure anymore
On either account
Because either way, you're gone.

They've told me we can still be friends,
I don't know how many times you've said it,
But right now I don't know if I can.
My heart still drops to the floor at the sound of your name
And my stomach spins when I realise you're no longer mine.

I wanted to make sure you didn't think I hate you,
Because it's the direct opposite of that,
But it felt like everything was normal
Until you said goodbye,
And then a second wave of hurt knocked me back
And I almost let myself get swept away.

I don't know if it's you I need,
Or the idea of you,
Because now all of a sudden,
Everything feels a lot scarier,
And all of the changes feel so big
That they could overwhelm me completely,
Swallowing me up,
Reducing me to a speck of dust.

This is all too much for me,
And though I'm not alone,
You've left a space in my life
I don't think anyone else can fill,
Which begs the question,
Is it really you I need,
Or did I just like the idea of you?

Tell them to look towards the stars
And within them they'll find their dreams.
What you won't tell them is that
Halfway across the world they dream of seeing
Another child does the same
Only to watch their dreams snatched from their fingertips
Carried away by the white clouds
As rain clouds fill their night sky
And the stars disappear
As the neon lights
Illuminate their impoverishment.
They will not dream of the same things
As our children,
But of education, of food
And of rest
Of a clean water source
To which they aren't required to walk miles
And as the cats roll into town
Their eyes spiralling and their grins wide
The children will look down from the stars,
A sight they know in their hearts
They will never see them again.
We only have the right to express ourselves
Through the way in which we decorate ourselves
Because these children don't dream anymore.

I was not born for this life
And you will not die for me
It's rude that I would reject this
When you dream of it
This luxury
But this is not  riches
This is not a life of extravagance.
What is wrong is that your view is so skewed
By your daily fight for survival
Imposed on you by those who cater for us
Who rule not only yours
But our lives also
That you should see my life
As opulence
When in fact it should be a standard
For all.
I was not born for this life
Just as you were not born to die for me.

Your eyes shine brighter than the sun
And try as I might,
I can't look away.
I will go blind
If it means I get one more glance,
One more look
At your beauty and splendor.

When I was young
Whenever a bee would come near me
You would tell me
"It's because it thinks you are a flower"
And I wouldn't be so scared anymore.

When I cried you would hold me close
And sing the lullaby
You had always sung to me
To remind me that a part of me is yours
And will always be
And I mustn't ever forget that.

At night you used to read to me
Your voice soft and gentle
As you lulled me to sleep,
My head on your lap
And I knew that as long as you were there
Anywhere would be home.

Sometimes you'd get out a world map
And place it in front of me
And we would point out all of the countries
We would travel to, together
And you would tell me all of the things we could do.

And the days when you would pick me up
From after-school club,
I'd come running across the playground to greet you,
Especially when it had been weeks since we'd last seen each other
And I would fall into your arms
And everything was 10x better.

I say it to you a lot,
Since I've grown up we've become closer friends,
But sometimes when things get you down
I don't think you always believe me when I say
You are amazing, and I am so proud
To call you my mother.

If I stay silent
Maybe if I just don't open my mouth
The screams and the cries
Won't find their way out

I am scared that if I begin to say
What's really going on in my head
The demons will force themselves
From my stomach out into my world
Where I can see them

I don't know how to explain to you
That I feel as though my insides are crumbling
And my brain is shutting down
While they take control

I want you to help me stop them
But I can't open my mouth
If they find a way out
They become real
And I don't think I'm ready for that

Listen.
To the echoes
Bouncing off the red walls
Of this dark cave
Pulsating and dripping
A deep, muddy red.
This is not mine.

And just as she
So flawed in her human skin
Was so loved by he
Superior in his very essence
So might I love you
And so might I give life
To generations
Who are not my own.

I did not ask for this
But this burden I am given
And so it is my fate
To deliver me from hell
I am not my own person
A part of me is shared with you all
I am not real.

I will wait until you listen
Until you understand
The vibrations
Within this solemn cage
Of flesh and blood
And the beat of the drum
We all feel inside.
We are one,
Currently divided.

Listen.