removing the '' If I could''
when I look at you
hoping you'd say
''I wish you would''

the scent of your being
lingers in my thoughts
eyes that hold my feelings
well into the night

for what do I say
to a beauty such as you
will my meaning go astray
rejection, that powerful fear

removing the ''If I could''
when I look at you
hoping you'd say
'' I wish you would''

winter winds upon this land
clawing me clamy hands
the recluse in me , stems the tides
of emotions cultivated deep inside

such sentiments had warmed my soul
of future days and times of old
shall I scratch this itch, a thousand times more
or let sleeping dogs lie, never to be told

shall I stand poised on this joist
debating the reasons for choice
and hear that familiar voice
"how far is heaven" and the ultimate rejoice

no, i will let the winter winds claw at me
let it's darkess cold once again teach
that the recluse in me and all it brings
warm my soul, anticipating a new spring

as I walk down this trail
such beauty surrounds me
vibrant color flowers
sweet scent of the trees

my thoughts are quite
amongst natures sounds
absorbing nature, drains the
negatives in my mind
the sky so blue, seems unreal
is this heaven that I found

see the butterflies flutter past
my face, to look for flowers
to feed their souls
my eyes close, my breath slows
if I have to go, then let it be here
for it's a beautiful day to die
and this is the place

Its the unfiltered truth that drains from my thoughts
   and spews forth from my vocal chords
   test the reactions from whom their for.

  will they understand with thoughtfullness
  or with the venom of the snake.
  it is not a critique, but a mere observation
  an opening for dialogue, to reciprocate in kind.

  let our feelings lie broken  beneath our feet
  lets kick them around a bit, discarding the useless ones
  savoring the strong ones, then let us
  stack them up till they touch our hearts
  and we can beat in time with each other once again

Carry away this moment
what you see and feel
cup it in your hands
mold it to your uniqueness
empower you to believe
let the external voices
that whisper what you need
fade into their wonderlands
they are not your consciousness
you are what you feel and see
only to truly believe

droplets dangle from green tongues
fall silent  absorbed by earth
moisten its softness  happy feet

this quiet of evening
no wind to speak of
body drains to comfort
as its you I think of
murmuring rhythms
softly played song
murmuring whispers
this is where you belong

oh my dearest Ann, how you gently hold my heart
your tender touch massage my dreams yet told
how dare you kiss me with lips so bold
knowing these feelings for you I gave from the start

I know of a place, where we both can hide
far away from the snears of prying eyes
who's to say what they are thinking, their curious minds
I'ts really their frighting selfs, they need to find

can we begin all over again
but this time at the end
not a rewind of the past
only the unvailing of our masks
may I  start
if I can only be your hero
from sunrise to sunset
and the night has it's touch
to sooth your heart from it's unrest
and now you
your persuasion over me, has it's limits
the free spirit in me, is a constant
and this void I have, is not because of you
shall I say it's part genetics
we both start
may we agree that the verses
that lead to the bridge
somehow flow to the chorus of our perfect melody
perhaps the notes can be tweaked just enough
that we will one day, be in perfect harmony

Then the night falls, and the cold winds
blow your whispers away
try to catch just one, to savior in my head
but my hands froze instead
we tryed to compromise, a hardy give and take
there was no middle, just the divide you made

the restlees heart , you posses
that passion won't rest
till the colors of your portrait is set
and you rise above the rest

such a burden, you've endured
leave us now, leave us later
twisting in the wind of your mind
you have no cure, uncertaintly for sure

so have another taste, sip another sip
don't be afraid to blink, its not yours to
think of what you might have missed
the past you've already dismissed

you tell me your dreams
when we lie in bed
and live them without me
don't need to explain, i already know
your usage of me, bruisemy soul
if this is what it takes
for you to be you
i'll gladly take what you give to me
I LOVE YOU

this moonlit evening enhances the canopy trees
my senses are comfort with the warm breeze
watching small shadows race up and down thier limbs
as the crickets sound their nightly hymns

your presences is a must for this stirring heart
hurry now, the anticipation is too much

there is so many words that I must say
only you can decipher, in a coherent way
rearrange them, send them back to me
for only this fool can see

your presences is a must for this stirring heart
hurry now, the anticipation is too much

this is my mindset, when you can't be near
talking to the evening breeze, hoping you'll hear
when suddenly the songbird seems spurned
and he and I wait for your return

your presences is a must for this stirring heart
hurry now, the anticipation is too much

these gentile waves hypnotize me
the soothing swaying, takes hold of me
close my eyes, there's no place I'd rather be
invigorated by the salty sea

the distant horizon streches far away
to reach it, is only for the brave
if only I could be there, perhaps I'll be saved
what wonders lie beyond, I cannot say

when the warmth of your arms wrap around me
your gentile kiss, upon my cheek
brings me back to reality
then realize there no place I'd rather be
then with my horizon thats holding me

If my paragraph is too long
To keep you interested
Perhaps sound bites are
What you prefer
You the know the ones were
Words flash across your eyes
You rearrange the letters for your
Mind to understand
Now you are content yet confused
At my verbage
Reread the paragraph and and find
All the phrases were I love you

The sun sets early on the eve of fall
The shadows seem longer then long
Cool winds whisper, tuck us in at night
The leaves grip loosens from branches
Flutter silently at nite in unrehearsed dances
In the morning, create a colorful site
The mind wanders to hybernation mode
Winter will come soon, to tame the soul
And blanket the land in ****** white

summertime and its evening skys
with their colors that flow within my eyes
cool winds blow the night air, clear
perhaps the end is near for us to be together here
your love it seeme has disapeared

the wintertime so cold and still
snow falls silent upon the hill
the nights are lonely, full of emptinees
missing your eyes and that tender kiss
and i know now were i went wrong
the words i sing to, this sadden song
reminds e that your forever gone

springtime comes and the skys are blue
the sun is warm, the land anew
waters flow from the mountain high
i still remember your last goodbye
memories of you i'll always keep
i'll dream of you when i sleep
in hopes to hold you tight when we meet
but maybe it time to rearrange
to fine out its me that has to change

oh my beloved america, were have you gone
tell me you have't lost your way
I remember when you were young and strong
has that fearful day that finally touch our shores
turned us against us
did it dent our invincibility, expose our weakness
so now the colors won't mix any more
is suspicion now the norm
you don't look right, dress right
you know i am armed, so I carry that swagger
don't take from me, I'll put you down
I'ts my right
least us not forget we stoled this land from the
real americans, which makes us all immigrants
I dream that all the gods we worship will one day
rise above us into the stratasphere
look down upon us mere mortals
and cast down the final demand
finally respect and love one another
or you shall be cast as a frozen orb
to the darkest reaches of the universe

the early spring night ,the sunsets back glow
enhances the puff of clouds slow fade
and I think of you
the torrents of thoughts that flood my mind
makes it hard to navigate my feelings so true
may I ask you to come on this journey with me
let us go to places out of the norm
take that left turn and somehow it will be right
oh,if you can see into my mind,what I have planned
you will understand,
I'm not a messiah nor a pagan god, just a man
who sees a life without you as a dry, empty desert

stare into my eyes, as my hands roam
over your soft skin
NO NEED to whimper or think
as our breaths, in rhythm, begin

slowly I'll kiss every spot, beholden to me
as your heart races, to my tease

every sweet drop of nector from your pores
only makes me hunger for more
for I sip each drop, and swallow you
as your fingers dig deep, your mind now askew

such tension of your body, I know your ready
just one more lick, as I hold your head steady
shall I stop now, just to tease
no, I think this is a good time, for your release

The peril of writing poetry
Is not only to release your thoughts
But not let your thoughts put in peril
The words you write

oh the tales of deception we weave
with words of love, only to recede
our faces beam with wrinkle smiles
hiding the history of countless lies

has the years eroded our feelings
in search of new days and meanings
does our love for each other, matter
is it time for it to be put out to pasture

that sparkle in the eyes, slowly fizzle
dampen by lifes endless drizzle
yet we still hold on to each other
hoping there's more than this, together

droplets dangle from green tounges
fall silent absorbed by earth
moisten its softness happy feet

can I be the tree, filled with fruit
pluck one, taste the sweetness and
if you so desire, taste them all

can I be the warmth that soothes
your cold heart, of lost lovers
fading into the rust of your memories

can I be the promise of something new
a new melody from some lost song
the tingling of the suns rays upon you
in the hopes to lift your head up
to see we are not them, we are
you and I

Tonight under this full moon
Let its light guide me to my room
We're there I can escape to my mind
Let my feelings be secure at what I find
For I am not a god nor an Adonis
I'm not weak or strong but honest
If I love you I would never leave you
If you hurt me take my wounds with you for they are your scars to remember me by
And when all the doors you knock on have open and shut in an instant
Perhaps those who've answered have your picture posted no entrance
by now you don't understand what you've done
because in your world your always number one
perhaps you'll finally realize that number one is a lonley number
the rest of us is the sum of everything to come adios

will the truths said on this starlit night
evaporate with the morning dew
and when the hot sun creates cracks
have you stumble over them
face first you go, to comfort your lies
will there be any remorse
of your lovers demise

The illumination of desperation
Leads to desecration
What I seek to hell with the weak
This is mine to keep
There's things I lack try to interact
Don't fight it no ones got your back
I live for survival eliminate all rivals
Born an outcast each day diabolical
The torment and shame the beatings and pain
Never knowing what I've done drove me insane
I ponder looking through the bars
Doing twenty to life
If only I was wanted and loved
I could have been a shining light

such is this dreary rainy week
cool numbness, yet not freezing
brisk winds flap the droplets
from young spring leaves
sun blinking from passing clouds

under this canopy I stand watch
waiting for a glimpse of you
sun's ocassional shadow of trees
plays on my mind, your voice
resonates, whispered trickery

so incomplete to mother earth
it seems, your footprints cease
who will tend to the ****** plants
caress with caring hands, nurture
will they bear their friut, alone

such are my thoughts on this
dreary rainy week, droplets
fall from my eyes, misty view
under this canopy,I stand watch
waiting for a glimpse of you

It seems so long ago
Yet just a whip of time
When your tounge browsed
Around my lips
You did that to tease me
To weaken me to a puppet state
The only thing I can do
Is hold your hips and let those seductive eyes and sensual breath
freeze me
And with a smile and a coaxing nod
Are bodies entwine
All the oohs and Ahhs provide passion
As I take another sip

There are million words
Without sentences
There are a thousand sentences
Without meaning
Within those sentences are
Commas and periods
All ending in question marks

I don't want to do this, say goodbye
forever is such a short word
yet a long lasting scar on my heart
your toughness was just a facade
inside, the lite of love shined bright
your presence commanded attention
your touch soft as the summer breeze
the smoothness of your sway collects us
as if to say,come with me, I am your protector
I will see you with the other shining stars
just above the horizon, winking at us
then peeking at us while we dream
so I won't say goodbye,just hello to the
night sky

the dreams I have of you and I
lasso my heart every night
no struggle or show of might
just surrender to your inner lite

the whispers in my ears so soft
each word holds my senses
a choir of angels sing aloft
my love for you relentless

is it true that there is light at the end of the tunnel
or good things come to those who wait.
what goes around comes around, what does that mean
or just wait, things will turn around for you.

are they just empty words, sayings to keep me going
and where am i going without you. your long pause
says it all.

do you remember when i touch you, and you quivered
do you remember when i looked into your eyes and you smiled
do you remembered when i kissed your neck and your knees buckled
do you remember you said i love you to me

i know now you got to go, and leave me in your wake
but please do me one thing and don't forget me
for good things come to those who wait.

slowly i slip back into my mind
evidently too much wine
i gasp for the air in your atmosphere
letting it fill my lungs with your love
oh darling you are always with me
and i know i'll probably forget what
i wrote here tonight but you know
its from my heartmy love

exhustion sets is, from the heavy daily toll
the eyes are sleepy, each step is slow
the body stiffens, bending over to untie the shoes
toes touching carpet, soft, another day is through
streched on the sofa, blood rushing to a calm
the mind turns of the noise, only quiet is the sound
amen

and as you stand before me
so naked against the night sky
every curve, so perfect
as if sculpted from the gods
of ancient times
so awe I was, at your beauty
I bowed to you as you past by

I dream of you every night
remembering the loving glance
your look was saying, I was next

so take me, my lady, for I am yours
do as you will, lap everything I spill
and when you awake, in my arms
its foreever

don't worry bout me, as I pass away
your passion of sorrow, as I lay dead
is noted, not believable, but noted
as your heartfill tears, seem genuine
your left hand, wipes them away

looking up at you, I wish I could smile
seeing the guilt you must feel
wondering, if all you put me through
would it change if I was resurrected

but souls like you, are common
shallow beings, ******* off the love
the ones that trusted you, are discarded
like dust in the wind, you'll plant your
seed, cultivate the newbees, who have
no clue

A blank piece of paper and restless thoughts
sitting in silence, no words are brought
this room full of moisture, mostly from my eyes
with no answers that I sought
A coldness has sharpen your words
your breath, lingers like swords
that ***** me, like never before

what body are you warming
I should have seen the warnings
when your nights turn into mornings

our bed feels like a vast ocean
empty with waves of emotions
that spill over the horizon
in slow motion

the yearning for your freedom, I ask why
the exhausted sigh and coldness in your eyes
are the echos that fill this room of your goodbyes

if I could, I would color you in the hues
that paint my mind
each stroke, smooth and true
if I could, I would tease you with
the melody in my heart
each note resonates with love
if I could, I would whisper to you
let your knees collapse with my words
then hold on to you for all eternity

hold me once again, just one more time
for the colors of my dreams are scattered
those rich textures are woven into streaks
that fade as time itself fades
such an enchantment that once held me
those ****** blue eyes that I surrendered to
have a hazy gleam of uncertainty
have we found ourselves in a cycle
of repetitive motions, a kiss good morning
a hug good night, a void between
a well place comment, yet such a hollow duty
I know now I'm not shiny and new anymore
corrosion can be so cruel
but when I look at you, you are perfectly polished
such a goddess that has been bestowed upon me
when all the " I love you" are the trueness of my passion.
perhaps you can touch me, and feel the brightest of love
I have for you, just one more time

an old man once told me, a straight line bends at the horizon
what illusion you pick to follow is your destiny

and then I heard, it through the whispers of the wind
and imagined myself there
all the places I dreamed of appeared
a new life begins
I can now pull the hurting arrows from my heart
feed them to the fire
hear them reduced to ash,deposit them heretofore
no more doubt, step with pride, I am me, reborn

time is constant, yet can stand still, I'm told
so the seconds tick away, oh so slow
I am not who I was an hour ago
even if you think you know

so put away your judgement mind
listen to the facts, and you may find
that He will define all of mankind

sadness comes from the emotions draining
a bloodletting of the hearts vibrant beat
the brains circuitry in over load, fighting
the positives and negatives, trying to find
the perfect path of sanity

as an aging man, I have known these feelings
a lifetime of questions, still to be answered
then unexpectedly, a simple word, I realize

remembering the past and all it's worth
what brought me here, is now understood
I have dragged all the stones of life I carved
laid them perfectly, in symmetrical order
built my pyramid, stood back in awe at
all that I've accomplished, smiled and rested
then asked, in a thousand years will it all
matter?

silence is what was heard
when you slam the door
my pitying of myself is nomore
this virus, I'll call you
has been eradicated from my soul
guess the the tonic of truth, that
I made you drink, has turned
you into who I already knew
I can now live the next phase
of my life, in peace

hold me gently in your arms
and caress my soul, never let go
let the tenderness of your skin
soothe my aching heart
your warmth is a quiet elixser
to a mind that swims in a sea of confusion
waves of reality and fantasy,crash on my shores
and leave nothing but sandunes dragging back to that sea
so please throw that net,pricise as always,lift me up onto
dry land .

watching from afar the ruination of it all
born with a mind, yet cater to the aroma
of what to be, follow me, follow me
greed of the guilty, everyones fantasy
being born an original,yet we forget
we are only ourselfs not him or her
nourish your soul to be one with you

I asked the lord for one more day
as I watch you in silence, so beautiful
after all its valentines day
the softness of your skin, still tingles me
the sculpture of your face, the lines perfect
this journey I asked you to take with me
has been everthing I envsion it would be
our life together filled with fullness
the laughter and sorrow, together we shared
no second guess, when I asked for your hand
and your eyes said it all, your kiss affirmed
its twilight now, I always thought I'd go first
the lord needs his angels forever on earth
but the special ones, He needs with Him
so one last kiss and I'll send you on your way
just remember, everyday without you
will be my valentines day

secretly vetting you in my mind, a far  
curiously, thoughts abound, twisted emotions
gazing at your shadow walks, strides long and true
a confident aura prevails

do you notice my peering eyes, feel the sense emitting from me
not wanting to be outed, yet can't halt myself, or turn away

beauty captures the soul, the mind, feelings enfold me, like spring
flowers in the meadow born anew,scents unwavering, colors of life
vetting me in you mind, i hope

The gap between our fingertips widen
Cool winds whistle warmth discipates
Your set for a new adventure
Without me as your guide
I know now the oldness of me
Has rusted your heart
I understand we both threw stones
Only so much sanding and primer
Can hide all the dents
I see it in your eyes
The color of happiness has faded with time
So go now seek somthing new
When that wears off you can find me
In the vintage section
Painted and shiny looking new

And so it is, as you disappear
beyond the hill
Your sunset will always be new
While my darkness forever continues