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 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
DieingEmbers
There's a man in the mirror

wearing my face...


backwards.
He looks like me but is he me because he wears my smile on the wrong side of his face.
He came to me one night
when I was cold and alone,
I was halfway through with it,
an inch from the bone.
He whispered so gently
as he laid me down on the bed,
"what aspect of life
put these thoughts in your head?"

"I don't breathe like I used to,"
I told him, as his image blurred,
"I ask for their help
but they don't say a word."
His vice like fingers
clamped onto my wrist,
"Not on this night, child.
You don't die like this."

Before I could figure out
what I thought he meant,
he opened his mouth,
"my dear, be patient.
For life is a hurdle
in the relay of death,
your time on this earth
is not over yet.

"When you reach the finish
then I'll come for you,
but until that moment,
here's what you'll do;
each problem that throws
itself in your sight,
promise me you won't
give up with no fight.

"The days when you
think you're over and done,
just look in the mirror,
you've already won.
Because you made it this far
through so many years,
you've conquered your demons
and outweighed your fears.

"The pills in the bottle
can wait a while longer,
because with each passing day
you've gotten much stronger.
I don't offer my help
to little girls who suffer,
I'll be breaking the hearts
of the ones that love her.

"Do you see now, child,
what I'm saying to you?
Your time is not up,
your life will ensue."
I bit down on my lip,
and nodded my head,
and just like that,
he disappeared from my bed.

That was the time,
that Death saved my life,
so if you ever want to end it,
just remember his advice.
Don't think of the pain,
and how it'll end soon,
because Death talks a lot,
when he enters your room.


a.d.
 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
Madisen Kuhn
1.  don’t be afraid of getting hurt
because in life there are times
when we need to be vulnerable
an unmatchable brilliance is radiated
when you bare your soul to another
and are privileged enough to be shown
the deepest parts of their spirit in return

2.  write often
no one has to see it, you can scribble
on napkins and throw them away
but please, allow yourself to know
the freedom of letting words seep
from your heart and relieving
the heavy strain of carrying
so many smothering thoughts

3.   never promise forever
because not once have i met
a person whose forever lasted
and i can’t say
i remember a time
when my forever has lasted, either
 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
Madisen Kuhn
looking back, i’ve realized
that in the moment
i tend to be anxious and impatient
and i don’t trust
that everything will work itself out
and i ache to know
exactly what is waiting for me
around the corner
   will i alter my circumstances
   or will my circumstances alter me?

i mindlessly allow myself to become faithless
and although i’ve overcome so many obstacles,
my eyes become fixated on the present
and i forget to take a step back
and reflect on my past

everyone always says,
“don’t look back,”
but i think it’s important
to remember where you once stood
and recognize how far you’ve come

i know i’ve changed
and i know i will continue to change
  
so why at 2am on a monday night
do i get stuck believing
that things will always be the same?
 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
Madisen Kuhn
darling girl,
why do you cry yourself to sleep every night
praying for someone
to come along and give you love,
to stay up with you till three in the morning
and listen attentively
as you list off all of your
passions, worries, burdens
to be envious of your attention
to kiss your forehead
and hold you without judgement
to be there for you
when you feel alone
to assure you everything will be okay
and remind you
that every sunrise and crashing wave
is a chance to make things right

when I’m right here
waiting for you with open arms,
ready to replenish
every empty space in your heart
because although you’re imperfect
and you hate the way
your front tooth is slightly crooked

I see you perfectly

darling girl,
why haven’t you opened your eyes to realize
that I’ve been here for you
all along
 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
Madisen Kuhn
there are
so many meadows
i have not
so many roads
i have not
so many mountains
i have not
so many songs
i have not
so many books
i have not
so many hearts
i have not

so many
i have not

so many
i have

so many
i forget
so many
i do not see
 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
DieingEmbers
You put your ring on me
and made me
yours
Winning a goldfish at the fair by throwing a ring over the bowl
 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
DieingEmbers
Even when I call you names

you still
love

Me
To Tansy and Molly my two faithful little doggies
 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
Madisen Kuhn
soon i will f a d e
like a photograph
left upon the windowsill,
and you will wipe away
my name from your lips

my laughter will become
a faintly familiar echo
in the hollows of your memory,
and unlike your thriving soul,
i will be fixed in a state of affliction
by the absence of your tenderness

yes, the fire in your heart
that once burned brightly for me
is growing dimmer by the hour,
however, you shall remain with me
e v e r m o r e
 Jun 2013 Ting-Jun
DieingEmbers
You lie there sleeping...

your dreams
exhaled in sweet whispered breaths

for my ears alone
to hear

for my heart alone
to know

I kiss your restless eyes
and taste for just one moment

The welcome arms of sleep.

Dream a dream for me my love
and chase away
this night


and my insomnia

that offers me such sweet respite

to watch you once more
my love

softly

sleeping.
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