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Tim Benjamin Apr 2014
To the girl who will one day take my last name
I want to tell you that you look beautiful,
Beautiful like in the way the summer sun bends around the north pole because it refuses to set its constant and lasting
Just like the way my heart jumped the moment i saw you for the first time and it has refused to come down
Everytime since, when i see you, although i have never been much of a dreamer, i daydream about all the things i want to do to you like...
Make you smile... or blush
So that my daydreams will have the perfect backdrop of love to memorize your every freckle, and then i want to drink the smile i put on your face beause i know it is the only thing that can quench my thirst
I want to tell you that I want to learn ballet, just so i can catch you everytime you jump and make sure that ill never let you fall... unless it's for me...
I want to learn to draw
Because I want to draw my way into your life, van gogh my way into your past present and future, i want to spend my whole life with you, and on your dying day i want to roundhouse kick death for even thinking of taking you away from me
But most of all i want to make you... happy
Happy in a way that is unexplainable
Like why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near
It would be to easy to say that just like me they long to be close to you
And i want it to be unexpected like when you fall asleep after a long day
Slowely at first and then it engulfs you completely
I want to tell you that I want you to be able to feel the sunlights warm caress even on the darkest of days
And on days when you can't see the stars in the night sky
I will cut stars out of my paper heart
Even though they always seem to rip when held in hands that aren't careful enough
and then I want to hang them from your ceiling
So you will always have something beautiful to look at
And if you would just notice me I promise that I can love you like that...
But instead when I finally noticed that you caught me staring at you about 15 minutes ago... I opened my mouth and instead of all the soliloquies that dance through my head whenever you saunter into a room all that came out was hi.....
I think it was a good start.
Tim Benjamin Oct 2013
Who am I?
I ask myself this question almost on a daily basis.
People say no matter how hard we try to fight it,
we always end up like our parents.
But with a nonexistent father,
and a gambling addicted mother,
I have nobody in my life to learn from,
or to grow to emulate.

So I'm left an empty vessel,
with the choice of who I am.
After years of trying to fit in,
And trying to find the affection I never got at home,
I look into a mirror unable to recognize the man standing in front of me.
I've chameleoned my way through every situation,
And now I'm left asking,
Who Am I?
Tim Benjamin Oct 2013
The day I learned what it meant to feel nervous,
you spoke my name for the first time.
It was funny, because your voice sounded like the next forty years of my life.
I somehow mustered up the courage that day to talk to you, and learned that your name was Jacque,
my darling Jacque.
While it was the most beautiful name I had ever heard, it somehow sounded incomplete,
like it needed my last name stapled behind it.
It doesn't take much more than knowing each other's names for something beautiful to grow.
I soon learned that your hair smelled like eternity, your skin felt like ecstasy,
and your kiss tasted like everything that forces a smile on my face.
From the first day I learned what it meant to feel nervous,
I fell...
In love with you.
Tim Benjamin Sep 2013
When I told you that I love you like a fat kid loves cake,
what I really meant to say was that for the first time in my life, I'm nervous.
I have a kindergarten crush so big I feel like cupid flew an airplane into my heart the moment I met you,
and that this kind of love is the kind that can grow to be so much more

When I told you that I would love you until forever,
what I really meant was that I would always be there.
That God himself couldn't pry you from my loving arms,
and that I would follow you through hell and high water

When I told you I wanted to die in your lap and be resurrected in your smile,
what I really meant was that I want to watch the sunrise in your eyes.
I want to be caught up in ecstasy every time I lay my head next to yours,
and then experience the sunset in every quivering last breath.

And when I told you that I would see you soon,
what I really meant was that I was too scared to say good bye.
That every wish from this day forward would be used in hopes to see you again,
and that no matter where you go, you will always have a piece of my heart.
Tim Benjamin Sep 2013
When I was a child, I wondered if monsters really did exist.
I would check under my bed and in my closet,
not because I was scared, but because I was curious.
And when I was a child I learned that they do.

Monsters don't always appear as people would expect
They commonly hide in our cities, schools, and sometimes our families.
They scarey part though, they can hide in our hearts,
our tongues,
or even our subconscious thoughts.

I met my first monster while I was still a child.
And while most would think it appeared to me with a shaved head,
driving a truck with confederate flags,
and a ******* tattooed inside his lip
so racial slurs can roll unfiltered off it's tongue.

My monster was the mother of my best friend.
She stood looking down on me like a doctor looks at a forty year old fry cook.
And while I never did understand why the brown of my skin resembled filth in her eyes,
or how she could look at a child, with that look of disgust.
When I was a child, I could understand, that these monsters do exist.
Tim Benjamin Sep 2013
There she sits quietly in the corner,
Watching me
Longing for me to give her my attention,
Watching me
While I spend time with everyone but her,
Watching me

While I may pick up a guitar or two
Or tickle a piano every chance I get
She doesn't know that my mind lingers
And I find myself,
Watching her

Her smooth body curved oh so perfectly
To her perfect neck so long and slender
She was my first whether she knows it or not
And on the day we met
I found myself,
Watching her
Tim Benjamin Sep 2013
She was the shortest poem I ever knew
She was five foot two with eyes of blue
And while we had just met,
I felt as if I knew her my whole life

She was the shortest poem I ever tasted
I drank her in like the summer sun
And while I was intoxicated after one sip,
I can still remember the taste of her kiss

She was the shortest poem I ever heard
Her voice sang the correct combination to my heart
And while her song has long since ended
I can still feel the beat within my heart

She was the shortest poem I ever felt
My finger tips traced her body under the light of the moon
And while I can't read braille,
I could feel her skin say I need you

And in that moment I whispered the shortest poem i ever knew...
"Danika I love you"
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