I've been thinking longer and harder of a subject that should not arise so early in my life
Why do we work so hard to grow and leave a mark on our world and want to stay forever?
Not enough chances being taken, we don't have that long
Nor will we ever...so I thought
Many thoughts have been thought
Everything must go, like a bad business going under
But life seems so great through these eyes, and these eyes are young;inexperienced
If life make me want to stay the afterlife must be even better
For forever can exist in such a place where everyone will know your face
We can make a great life now, after it's all over we can make an even better one
Work hard now so that our souls have a chance to play harder in the unknown

I'm a child of a love that remained unwoven
Every version of me never realized just how broken
You can get just trying to do the right thing
For your child it ain't sweet but that's the icing
Sacrificing everything down to your last breath
Making sure I'm taken care of even if you don't know what could happen next
Give me all your love I'm selfish when it comes to happiness
As long as I've been alive I feel like I hardly know you
Or the things you've truly done
To allow your son to see another one
A day where I can play pretend nothing is wrong as long as I'm looked after
Growing up I swear I've been craving laughter
In the absence of it from your happy never after
Little did I know I was helping decipher our next chapters
Not from the rafters, but front and center
Robbed  your attempts to find the love of your life
Thinking it was me because it's all I've ever known
Fighting for your life to finally find the home
You feel where you belong and I've seen you belong
Decisions I've made you chose me to lean on
The gravity of the situation was beyond
Anything I could comprehend like we could be gone
From the place I've always known as home
Feel so selfish I made the decision for us to be all alone
And you took me there without hesitation
I often wonder if the destination
I picked for us was the reason for our demonstration
Why we go out of our way to make others happy
I still think about it to this day
When youre older you realize the power of what you say

Love isn't as strong as security
Only one is guaranteed
Time will tell you it's price and fees
Make sure you water the right seeds
If you reap what you sow
May your harvest be plentiful

A place I confided
Even when not invited
I was never afraid to open up and see

I always had perfect vision
When making my decisions
But in the end still blindsided

Some things will go unnoticed
Often times I lose focus and
Wish I could blame it on my ADHD

Trying harder to never lie
So ill never have to rectify
My mistakes now under
Lock and key

Her walls as soft as fur
and mind as sharp as cheddar
Two things that couldn't go together any better
So I thought, and wondered in a moment of contemplating
Why are you insistent on waiting?
You tell me your love is ferocious and unending
Hungrier than a glutton with nothing to lose
What's this honesty under the influence of these *****?
Real or fake for goodness sake put my mind at ease
Such a way to draw out this tease
we got a couple drinks in me
my heart starting beating the sounds of loves symphony
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
War is the concept love is the game

I see who you really are right from inside my home
When you think there's no one there Know you're not alone
I am all your stories you imbued me with this curse
From inside my dollhouse  an observer I'm immersed

How am I supposed to know
That you needed room to grow
I wish we could have talked about it
Before the day you decided to go ghost
Everything I touch feels so cold
With all of my friendships on froze
The mistakes were mine to make
It was you over them i regret what I chose
Not even around you left this hole
Fighting more demons to gain control
Creatures of habit love roles that are tragic
My life is a movie you made it a classic

I've always wanted to be a rapper but that will never happen
Not because I'm no good at it
But there are other seas that need a captain
Always an aspiring artist with a writers itch
Who can help but fall in love with lyricist
Words scratch my fancy, stories speak more to my heart
For the songs I cant wait to finish just so I can restart
Just so I can see what I've missed my first or second time around
Messages buried underneath the sound
So when you see me listening to music and I'm not at home
Let me be my soul is fueling up
For another poem

True love, miracles, and atrocities
All can be experienced, all can be found and all can be seen
Unfortunately true