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The foundations are first to go
in a collapse of brick not known in this lifetime,
only that long ago,
though many people will try to reason it in rhyme.

We used to knock bottles off walls
throwing cancer and heart attacks
to watch the glass shatter
and fall,
break into jigsaw pieces on the floor

and now,

we weep into cups so not
to ruin the carpets the deceased gave us
and gave up.
Turkish yarn and rugs from town
and never knowing quality when we see it.
FROM COFFEESHOPPOEMS.COM

I LEFT CAPSLOCK ON
Your fingers traced the curve of my forearm like an atlas that mapped out the route that would lead you back to your heart, but you knew the journey was a labyrinth as complicated as the waterways of veins beneath my skin, so you removed your hand. Instead, your fingers found their familiar solace upon the sturdy neck and trembling strings of your guitar.
You plucked each one intently, running your hand down the edge of the fretboard and feeling each chord reverberating within the empty space of your every capillary.
I moved my gaze to your eyes, the black holes that have always swallowed me whole with the promise of never regurgitating me into bigger pieces than what I was originally.
I found myself reminiscing to a time whenever your eyes were identical to the ground we laid upon the afternoon we first decided to find versions of ourselves within the shapes of the clouds. But ever since, the innocence has slowly seeped from your expression and a stare as hard and cold as stone has taken resisidence in its place.
I allowed my eyes to slowly drift closed and suddenly I began to feel each strum of your fingers within my rib cage, the notes sketching portraits of a love never experienced upon my internal organs.
When you stopped playing, your hand immediately reached for the long-necked glass bottle resting upon the edge of your night stand. You brought it to your lips and tipped your head back, slowly drinking in every bad decision you have ever made and the after-taste that you had begun to crave. It burned your throat like acid, but each swallow was a reminder of just how hollow you had become.
Your fingers found their place once again and I readjusted beneath the weight of your expectations. I draped my legs over your bed like every profession of love that I have never said that hangs from the brim of my lips. My fingers danced across my thighs to the beat of your song, one not as familiar as the one of your unrequited love, but I still managed to dance the same.
And we seemed to lie like that for an eternity, you focused on every chord that never came out wrong like every word you ever said to me, and me basking in the sound of your unspoken promises and confessions just waiting for the day when they become reality.
These days, I'm afraid to look into your eyes

for fear that I may be consumed.

Though I suppose drowning in your irises

would be a lovely way to go.
all faith was lost in a caravan car park with seats reclined,
a family of four, small and contorted, wrapped
around a car for an uncomfortable night of no sleep,
and for the soundtrack:
                                                propeller blades of the port and a grown man weeping.

now we understand and gather and know and grasp the concept of loss,
now it's a:
                                                brother to a younger sister
                                                and now a lost son to forever mother
                                                and a lonely child to a missed father,
                                                insurance-won't-be-done-on-time
                                                because the route-master turned up late.

now loss can never be found so it stays stuck in memory,
now memory is:
                                              reverse the car into the garage and don't stop for the wall,
                                              or bend over double and crawl into the back of a van
                                              duck down because you're tall for your age.

so now you're no longer and when this is realised
i will write this up into a stage play for you
to hide and conceal and disguise the face that will undoubtedly bloom in tears.

*Earlier my eyes wandered looking for someone through a window watching the main street in the rain. It's been a year and still you've missed the refrain, we'll try again on the chorus perhaps next year sometime.
RIP

coffeeshoppoems.com
somewhere out there
there's a blue house along the shore
abandoned, empty, with wooden planks covering broken windows
debris and rock collects around the support beams
as hurricanes make the beach increasingly claustrophobic
and if you lay on the hot sand
letting the sun burn your bare arms
and close your eyes really tight
you can see the ghosts of two adolescents
whose adolescence has since been obliterated by love
and hear their desperate voices cry out into the bright blue skies
messy prose of blurred confession and stolen honesty

but your concentration will waver
and their throats will fill with ocean water
they will become weighed down by each other's presence
and suffocate beneath each other's scarred skin
one's lips stealing the breath from the other
and in your temporary state of neglect
you won't be watching when they die

so carry their bones away and burn them
let their ashes become one with the sand
and watch them disperse with the 12 o'clock high tide
come, see the weeds flourish
where their warmth once fostered daisies
and let their fragile organs decay
along with the remains
of their salty love
and there in the depths of the sea
of death, of distance
they will be closer
than they'd ever been in this world of the living
 Jul 2013 Tiffany Valentine
Sir B
I am afraid to love anymore
Because my heart is in absolute damnation.
I just see darkness
When in reality there is sunlight outside

Death, destruction and hatred
all around me
surrounding me
forcing me to surrender

But I shall not
Because I yearn to be
The last ray of hope
For those
Who are still out there
Stumbling in darkness
Desperately trying to find
something to hold onto.

Look around.
There is still tiny bits of sunlight
Follow them,
For victory awaits this quest
what has become of me?

My writings changed a bit because of reading a medieval aged book.
 Jul 2013 Tiffany Valentine
Sora
I know I say I hate you
And that you're just some fat old *****
Or that I want to **** you most nights
And that I wish you were never born

But I would be dead right now
Always had someone who would keep me warm when I was in a cold world
Never missing a chance to say goodbye on my way out the door
Giving me this look of love and respect.

I love you more than a person could love their pet
You were my life support through 7 of the worst years in my life
And I love your sweet purr as you fall asleep in my arms
That grin on your little face makes all the sleepless nights worth it

You won't be around forever
I wish I could live the rest of my life with you tapping my leg for more Friskies
Nothing can bring me up from my lows like you can
Just a plop in my lap
That's my reason to keep fighting for life
Because of you.

I love you buddy, I won't let anything happen to you.
I love you more then I could ever show.
On the darkest nights, you somehow tell me to just pull the sheets up and sleep
On the hottest days, you still lay on my legs
I love you cat. I love you Luna.
Even though it may not seem like it.
You mean the world to me. I love you.
Jaws cracking
eyes watering
inhaling so deep

heavy eyelids
and a drooping head
don't fall asleep

sleep is fickle,
get it where you can
and if you don't have insomnia

BE GLAD.

There are few things worse
than lying awake,
clock blinking, glowing in your eyes.

Your watch beeps,
a bell chimes
3:00 in the morning

again.

You're so awake
you wanna go out
but you can't.

It's too late.
early?
dark.

The cracks in your ceiling
are so fascinating.
The cat at your side is
warm.
purring.

orange.

It should be soothing
should put you to sleep.
But it won't.
Never does.

How long can you go without sleep
before you go mad as a hatter?
Down, down, down the rabbit hole of dreams...

snapped away from the brink.
Damnable sirens!
Damnable insomnia...

Sun's rising. What now?
Get up. Get dressed.
You've a life to live.

Foundation covers the circles under your eyes.
Tea or coffee keeps you running.
Insomnia keeps you awake.

Always has.

Always will.
Written at school when I should have been taking notes on the Depression. All punctuation and capitalization errors are intentional.
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