how many mails left
on read are too many — to
consider stoping?

I tend to follow strings
That lead no where
Sometimes even
They dangle off dark trenches
And I'm such a fool
I follow them to my doom

I lock all my doors
With bolts and keys
You're always pounding on the doors
And I always let you in
If your knuckles are already bruised
Might as well knock some sense into me

I light fires
That I don't know how put out
[  ] Sometimes I find hoses
And I'm filled with hope
Unfortunately
I don't know how those work either

I keep crashing cars
On the sides of mountains
The radio sings like molasses
Not a soul around
And yet I still always manage
To blame the traffic in the city

I forget the time
And the dates on the calender
When the sun sets on my face
All I truly know
Is another day is done
And another day is wasted

The words I speak
Are far too similar to yours
I feel the dirt on my tongue
A bitter taste that I ignore
So to counteract this fear
Of your vocab matching mine
I started brushing harder
To loosen up the grime
I want that Colgate white
That fresh uncaring scent
I need you out of my molars
Scraped clean of your cement
I stand over the sink
For hours at a time
Just tearing at my gums
To sever that line
Now I'm shouting in the mirror
Why can't you leave me be
There's blood in my spit
You're rooted like my teeth
I'm stuck in this house
So I'm swishing my mouth
And spitting you out
With you I'll live without
When I'm no longer stuck in this house
And you in my mouth

I don't like the way my brain rattles
I don't see any benefit
And i really do despise
That you're the one shaking it
I have life to be lived
Yet im stuck in this exile
Of your on and offs
And staring at your profile
I laugh at our potential
And cry when I remember
You're hotter than July
And colder than December
I thought you were a bee
Turns out you are a wasp
Or maybe you're a red light
And ive forgotten how to stop
That tag on my shirt
Digs into my neck
Crawls up to my brain
And leaves me in a wreck
So you find it funny
How much I think of you
Your comedy needs some work
Maybe try something new
I'm really getting bothered
Just leave me I beg
Stop telling me lies
And get out of my head

Amalgamation of missed information
I have to resist the temptation
To rename myself a "bad result of experimentation"
Is to love someone to control their mood?
To turn them upside down when you're feeling rude
I tried for weeks to be astute
But in just one minute you made it all a fluke
Can I get better please?
Heal from this illness, cure my disease
Due to my hysteria I would take any pill
To not let you affect me, get back my free will
Its painful to be alone
But I feel better when im not owned
Branded to be a slave to your polarity
Leaving my creativity
And all I love to your bad proclivities