twelve am - those conversations worth staying up start to flow
one am -  another sleepless night, with thoughts featuring you
two am - the demons come out at night to haunt you
three am - i'm starting to miss you again, missing you more than i should
four am - making up scenarios in my head, of things that we could be
five am - time where I hate myself most & sadness starts to kick in
six am - sunrise is coming, heavy eyes, where sleep is awaiting
seven am - another morning with fake smiles & laughter, pretending to be happy
eight am - only looking forward to seeing you
nine am - a real smile comes along with the thought of you
ten am - telling myself to not break down & cry
eleven am - wandering off having daydreams

tick tock tick tock

ten pm - in my bed, ready to sleep
eleven pm - tossing & turning, just like the usual
twelve am - the same routine everyday

All I want is to make you happy
Turning all your tears & sadness into shooting stars & galaxies
And the times you'll feel like you're drowning, I'll risk my life & pull you back to shore, despite the fact that I can't swim
And when you feel like darkness has took over you, I'll be the moonlight that guides you through
I'll be the sunrise to help you get up & remind you a new day is coming
To make you look forward for the sunset, to see how lovely it is just like you

I'll do these all for you because you are my sun on which my world gravitates to
You're my whole night sky & the whole reason why I'm twinkling all the time because of how much you make me happy
You're that sunflower that makes my day a whole light brighter
You're my whole **** ocean, the deeper you swim is knowing how much I adore you
You're that beautiful rainbow I always look forward to see after the bad rainy days I'm having
And you are that shooting star that only comes once in a life time, because I was blessed you came into my life & that is a wish I'd never regret wishing

But all these things just weren't enough
Because it seems it were all the reason to make you leave
For you have found someone who's presence you can't describe in any of the alphabet
Someone who's voice reminds you of the peaceful serene sound the ocean makes
A girl who gives you tingles all over your body, while I was the wasps you have mistaken for butterflies
Someone who's got you thinking of metaphors about love and got you singing all these love songs

So now here I am a hurricane mess
A tornado of destruction
The girl who used to have stars in her lungs, but I've burned them with all the cigarettes I was smoking
And those flowers that were growing in the bottom of stomach are long gone, because you can't water flowers with *****
For I had the sky in my brain, but I've been shattered apart the day you said you were leaving & now it's just a stormy weather up there
And I had the ocean in my eyelids to show you that we could sail together through this cruel world, but now I'm just left crying a river for you
That taste of fresh picked strawberries in my lips, now tastes like broken promises & wrecked expectations
And my hands that used to fit with yours, are just plain empty just like every **** part of me
All the beautiful things that were in my life are gone in that instance just like how you left just like that

I like how you make me laugh
and like the way you smile
I like it when you're around
It's bearable when you're there
And when I see sunsets I think of you
Because it makes me feel some type of way just like how you give me feels
When I look up at the night sky to see the stars it reminds me of that twinkle in your eyes
I can't lie you give me butterflies whenever I see you around
I like the comfortable silences we have & you not minding me not talking most of the time
I like the way you tell stories & hearing everything that you've been through
I just really like it when you're around
Because everything's better and nicer and I feel much safer
I like it when you talk about your favourite things & things you're passionate about
I like the way you gaze at me & I know that I don't have to impress you because you accept me for who I am
I like the moments when we're together & the funny bizarre things we'd do & talk about
I like how you talk about life & how it's all about perspective
I like your mentality & how you put words into a sentimental advice

I don't like it when you aren't there
Because it seems like my world would fall apart & really start to miss you
I don't like the thought of you leaving ever, it just brings a tear to my heart & I know I'll be missing you
I don't like the thought of never speaking to you ever again because life would be a bore without me hearing your voice
I don't like the thought of not seeing you
I don't like it when you're sad because someone amazing as you deserve happiness
I don't like it when you say "I'm no good for you" because you don't get to be the judge of that

These are things I can never seem to utter out of my mouth because I'm scare I'll scare you away & I probably will & it might also sound too cheesy
But that's what I think and every part of it is true
For my feelings are real & I just hope that you know that
I appreciate all the things you've done for me & I just want you to know how much I care

I stare at the moon & the stars
Wondering if you are too
But then I say to myself
You're probably out with someone new
A girl who's got the scent
Of cherry blossoms
And tastes like fresh picked berries

So you're probably gonna distract yourself & try to get the thought of me out of your mind
Trying to concentrate on her but the twinkle in her eyes reminds you of me & so you rush out the door, slap yourself & bang your head on the wall & spit out the words you could never say to me & while you immerse yourself in things I shouldn't even bother to care about I'm here looking at the moon & the stars telling them how much I miss you

And if you do take her out to your favourite place just like you did to me, the moonlight & twinkle of the stars will follow you throughout the night & you'll look over the sky remembering the first time you took me there too, how we shared secrets & stories, & how I almost told you that you were my night sky

So I wish that the light catches your attention instead of her & you'll remember that daisies were my favourite flowers & that you can't get your eyes off the moon

But isn't it funny how empty I am right now because I swear months ago I had the whole galaxy within me  and now I've cried a **** ocean in my body & now I'm drowning
And that volcano inside my chest corrupted when you told me you were leaving and the lavas have
bursted throughout my whole veins
And I had the whole planet within the back of my hand to guide & show you the world
But all that is nothing now because you left & you're never coming back and I'm here a big mess of stormy weather who's gloomy all the time, waiting for a rainbow to come along & see the bright side of things again

Don't fall in love with that somebody
He'll take you to parks, coffee shops, & to the ocean shore
He'll kiss you & lift you up with an embrace
At the most unexpected time in the most beautiful places
So you can never go back to those places without tasting a mouthful of him
He'll wreck you in the most lovely way possible
& now you'll know why storms were named after people

When you left a part of me was gone, so I looked for it in cigarettes & boys who didn't know my name
2. I still lay on my bed reminiscing the good memories & questioning myself where did I go wrong
3. I thought I saw you from across the field, heart started beating so fast, then I realized it wasn't you, for that boy had wore sneakers that you completed hated
4. I hear the sound of your voice all the time, replaying all the things you've said to me, my favourite one has got to be "I'll never leave" which was the biggest lie
5. I can't speak your name without feeling like I'm choking
6. I shouldn't have mistaken wasps for butterflies.
7. I still feel your embrace linger all over me
8. I crave your touch especially the nights where I feel most lonely
9. I miss you but I'm going to keep pretending that I don't.
10. Wide awake all night, contemplating if I should text you, but then again you'll probably think I'm insane for not moving on
11. I've burned all the pictures & things you've given me, instead I'm entertained of the burning flakes it makes
12. This time I swear I saw you. I knew it was you, because you looked right through me.
13. I think I'm moving on, waking up each day is starting to get easier & every thought of you is just burned into ashes
14. I'll still be there for you, even if you don't want me anymore.
15. I'm begginning to be happy again & got someone new to kiss me good night.

Don't let yourself fall in love with him
When a boy who gives you chills every time he holds you close, shows you his favourite place, don't remember the route on how to get there because when he's gone, you'll only find yourself going back there to get a glimpse of him one more time
Don't listen to his favourite song, for that melody will stay permanent with you wherever you go & the day he leaves you, you won't be able to listen to it without choking
Don't tell him to let go of his bad habits,  for you got your own too
Just because he got this positive mentality about life, doesn't mean he'll be good for you
And just because you two like the same bizarre things, does not make him your soulmate
And when the day comes where he stops putting as much effort like before, don't be expecting so much from him for you'll just be left hanging
Don't watch the stars with him, he'll contaminate it & you won't be able to look at the sky again without swallowing a mouthful of him
Don't let him enraptured you with his lovely compliments, just remember when he's no longer there, that you are beautiful too before he ever came into your life
Just because he promised & tells you that he loves you, doesn't mean he'll stay
Don't let the embrace of his arms be your comfort place, for when he leaves you everywhere you go will just be cold & chilly
Don't let him break your heart, but you're going to let him anyways
And when he does break your heart, you'll feel like you're dying. And it will feel like someone just ripped out your lungs & you won't be able to breathe. But just remember you will find someone better, because you deserve better
You shouldn't have fallen in love with him
-thrcy

This different new kind of feeling
  is really quite appealing
  deep within it wants it to be revealing
  for later I'll have to be dealing

With these thoughts and emotions
  right now my head is like an ocean
  over thinking going back and forth motion
  I'll explode and cause a big destruction

Is this fate?
  and will it be worth the wait?
  thoughts like a foreign language and feelings I can't seem to translate
  but these feelings feels so great
  I'll make my own path and go straight
to you

So I'll take a chance
  with this brand new romance

How could such girl like me
Who's future is ahead of her
Feel so much misery already
Pain that will never go away
Who could do a perfect fake smile
Be so broken and torn apart
And feel such self-loathe towards herself
How someone like me
Could ever have thought of killing her own self?
Have such emotional breakdowns all the time
Who just simply hates everyone around her
For vanishing herself would be the only cure
To all her dilemmas in life
Who thinks it's better to end it all
Instead of having anxieties and depression
Killing her softly
Pieces by pieces
Until there's basically nothing left of her
Until she's empty and can't turn to anyone
For it might be too late
But it is already too late
For she is still physically alive
But emotionally dead

You left me, but parts of you are still here
That smile of yours stuck in my head
Your scent is the air I breathe
Twinkling eyes still shine bright in mine
Your embrace all over my skin
The hands that still could fit into my hands
Your lips touching mine permanently yours only
The favorite things you say, is the one that I can only utter
All these things about you, I've got it memorized
Just in case one day you'll leave me
And of course you did

What happened to originality?
Why you trying to have somebody else's personality?
Can't you get your own speciality?
Copying.
Stealing.
Don't you feel guilty about doing that?
Just stop it you brat.
Doing that so
Makes you so low
For your true feelings you can't show
Because it isn't your work
And what you're doing is acting like a ****
Taking credits for something you didn't do
It's making you look like a fool and you just have no clue
For you're not really real, but a fake
Taking a poem you didn't even make
What a stupid mistake
Makes my head shake
And my whole body ache
Heartless and mean this may sound
But I hope karma gets you around

She was not satisfied with herself
thought she was not too skinny
not so smart
and was never good enough

But she did not know of how he saw her through his own eyes
he thought about her magnificent beauty
of how passionate she was when she talked about her favourite things
the sparks in her eyes when the littlest things could make her happy
he fell in love of how she could make others smile, when she was sad
how she doesn't sometimes try her best, but could still look so stunning
her giggly laugh
that song she would constantly repeat
about how she has the need to quote from her favourite books
having to re-watch a movie that explained her life
her bad habits, ****** expressions
he knows all of that like it's his favourite song
and has got it all memorized

So he told her about all that
and taught her
to love herself more
just like how much he loves her

You say you like me
But I see you falling for her
You say I make you smile
For she can make you happy
I can make your day
She can make your life
You say I'm great
We both know she's way better
You say I can make you better
But she can change you
You say I'm the newest chapter in your life
Her, she's the **** whole book
You say I'm no nightmare to you
But she's your dream girl
You say you think about me sometimes
But I know she preoccupies your thoughts all the time
You keep saying I'm the one
But really she's your only one

I'm deeply very jealous of others girls
with such profound beauty
the ones that can make everyone twirl
that girl who others want to be around with
a best friend everybody wants to have
with just one look at her, she'll leave you breathless
who could overcome any struggles that life has given
ones with a natural giggly laugh
who could pull off any make up
who could make you laugh so hard, that everyone else already stopped
that perfect smile, that could turn your frown upside down
with a unique style for clothes
having such a magnificent personality
smirk on their face, making you believe everything would be fine
ones that could cheer you up and take your sadness away
the girl who could fight the monsters in her head and fight for your sorrows

But I am sorry

That I am not good enough
like those other girls
who could possibly make you happy

I apologize

For being just me
clumsy, annoying, clingy, insecure, imperfect girl
and for loving you that much

and  I  am  sorry

for being so jealous of other girls

It was then I had realized
why people listened to sad songs
stayed up all night waiting for late replies
they would get insecure when they see their person with another
how their world would stop when they see them
would get the butterflies whenever their lips touched
their day incomplete when they don't see each other
couldn't sleep when a big argument comes up
but become lovers again the very next day
how down they would be if they can't cheer them up
get all giddy when they hold hands
smiling like a fool when a thought of them comes up
how their life is complete when they are together
it was then I noticed
this silly and delirious emotions
are the great effect of loving someone

There was a boy
willing to give her all the joy
discreetly trying his best to change for her
and make her feel secure
but deep inside he was weak
his feelings he cannot speak
but he did his best
and held her in his chest
he knew that she was out of his league
doing all he can just to keep her intrigue
but the boy had his own predicament
helplessly couldn't give her all the encouragement
for he cannot prevent
instead he went for it and gave her all the reassurement

Through all their laughs
hardships and humiliating moments

The girl
that didn't know she could make that boy twirl
eventually also couldn't resist
wanting to give him her very first kiss
forgetting about her cruel past
and giving him all her trust
for she had evolved into loving him
thinking her chance were very slim
telling him nothing about her feelings
only if she knew that he thought she was so appealing
she is giving him the silent treatment
thinking this a test for some sort of commitment
now she is constantly ignoring his presence
giving him one word sentence

Both are feeling doubt and insecure
saying how they're not so sure
anymore about their feelings for each other
and how they can't ever be lovers

Now they're back to being strangers
thinking they are better off without one another
their paths never converging
for there are just another unrequited lovers

Don't make decisions
when you've got a broken heart
for an unattached individual
with forgotten promises
abandoned memories
rejected phone calls
wrecked expectations
deserted arrangements
dreadful lies
forsaken mixed signals
slowly it will **** you
ripping the heart to pieces
soon you'll be
crept up to loneliness
regretting all your dumbfounded decisions
left with an empty feeling
with happiness never coming your way
for this will ruin you
and tear you apart

She made you her priority
all she wanted was your honesty
you could have also shown your loyalty
but you missed the opportunity
now she's gone for good for treating her so ******
the girl just wanted a little consistency
could have been more heartily
boy all you showed was just atrocity
and you thinking it was some sort of comedy?
that girl has no more patience and generosity
at least what you could do is give her an apology
treat her more equally
act more responsibly
show her some harmony
stop showing her hypocrisy
and maybe, possibly
she'll considerably
forgive you for your cruelty
but this time, treat her more like royalty
she'll be yours significantly

The question that comes up often to my mind is,
when will I be good enough?
the answer to this is quite tough
for everyone is always leaving
and the heart aches I'd have to be dealing
sobbing for hours to finally releasing
the agony it's causing

When will I be good enough?
for someone to stay by my side
and somebody I could confide
to wipe away all my tears
from all the tears that I cried
who's got their arms open wide
and embrace me tightly as I sigh

When will I be good enough?
for someone to love me as much as I love them
to take me for who I truly am
face all the mayhem
and stays ups with me until the AM

When will I be good enough?
for a person to accept me from all the things from my past
while they can share my present & future, to have a blast
have memories made that can outlast
reminisce it one day so it can surpass

When will I be good enough?
where my flaws are something that'll make them love me more
where my worst days will be the days they want to stay & listen to know what's wrong
where the happy days would be days we could treasure together
where my mean attitude is not the reason for them to go away
where my dark side isn't just an excuse to leave me astray

When will I be good enough?
for  *you

Poems I write
things I say
stories I make
books I read
quotes I quote
lyrics of songs I hum
is just another combination of 26 letters
of ways to make you fall for me

And I hope
that someday
I'll find
the right words
a flawless sequence
to say such
serene, sensual, splendid
delightful, amazing, and intriguing
things to you

For it will blosson a smile in your face
give you goosebumps
echoes in your mind
makes your heart skip a beat
tingles all over your body
to get you thinking through the twilight
until the sunset kicks in
and think of
every sappy
hopeless romantic movies
it will be like a movie you'll watch over and over
your favorite quote
the song that gets stuck in your head for days
poems that make you go awe
stories that makes you want to know more
books that you can't stay from
and these sweet things I'll say
will only be for you

In this world we live in
everything is temporary
nothing really last for a lifetime
friends, happiness, problems, love
even our existence
and pretty much everything else in this world
it all ends anyway

We may think it will last for eternity
but eventually friends becomes a stranger once again
happiness turns into pain
problems will go away
love turns into hate
us, we'll rot
and this world we live in
will nothing but be a dead place someday

So  why?

Why do we try so hard for these things?
for it may be taken away from us
*forever

I'm broken
shattered into pieces
never will be full again
torn apart
crushed so deeply

Everyday I try to be happy
but my day always ends up ******

Still can't let some things go
so I end up feeling low
but I try my best though
to not let my feelings show

With unanswered questions
consistently looking for suggestions
of why I'm in depression

There's no hope
I can't even cope
of my own self
this is no good for my health

Really got to stop feeling down
maybe I should just go away for awhile & get out of town
before I let myself drown
with all my thoughts that'll just make me frown

I should start fresh
and forget about how my life's a mess
dismiss myself from all that stress
but be grateful instead of how I'm truly bless

I wonder what it is like in outer space
would it be a wonderful place?
does it take all our problems out
or do we have to scream & shout
is it somewhere we can be free
where there's nothing to worry
all these thoughts I cannot fathom
oh what have I become
my curious self is slowing showing
all these facts are always growing
please someone just take me there
to have new memories I can share
outer space is where I belong
I've just realized that all night long
so take me there
to save me from my despair